During HDD clean up found this on programing language

Discussion in 'NZ Computing' started by Collector»NZ, Nov 30, 2004.

  1. The proliferation of modern programming languages (all of which seem
    to have stolen countless features from one another) sometimes makes it
    difficult to remember which language you're currently using. This
    handy reference is offered as a public service to help programmers who
    find themselves in such a dilemma.

    TASK: Shoot yourself in the foot

    C
    You shoot yourself in the foot.

    C++
    You accidentally create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot them
    all in the foot. Providing emergency medical assistance is impossible
    since you can't tell which are bitwise copies and which are just
    pointing at others and saying, "That's me, over there."

    FORTRAN
    You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out of
    toes, then you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run out of
    bullets, you continue with the attempts to shoot yourself anyways
    because you have no exception-handling capability.

    Pascal
    The compiler won't let you shoot yourself in the foot.

    Ada
    After correctly packing your foot, you attempt to concurrently load
    the gun, pull the trigger, scream, and shoot yourself in the foot.
    When you try, however, you discover you can't because your foot is of
    the wrong type.

    COBOL
    Using a COLT 45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEG.FOOT, THEN place
    ARM.HAND.FINGER on HANDGUN.TRIGGER and SQUEEZE. THEN
    return HANDGUN to HOLSTER. CHECK whether shoelace needs to be re-tied.

    LISP
    You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you
    shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you
    shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you
    shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you
    shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you
    shoot yourself in the appendage which holds...

    FORTH
    Foot in yourself shoot.

    Prolog
    You tell your program that you want to be shot in the foot. The
    program figures out how to do it, but the syntax doesn't permit it to
    explain it to you.

    BASIC
    Shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol. On large systems,
    continue until entire lower body is waterlogged.

    Visual Basic
    You'll really only appear to have shot yourself in the foot, but
    you'll have had so much fun doing it that you won't care.

    HyperTalk
    Put the first bullet of gun into foot left of leg of you. Answer the
    result.

    Motif
    You spend days writing a UIL description of your foot, the bullet, its
    trajectory, and the intricate scrollwork on the ivory handles of the
    gun. When you finally get around to pulling the trigger, the gun jams.

    APL
    You shoot yourself in the foot, then spend all day figuring out how to
    do it in fewer characters.

    SNOBOL
    If you succeed, shoot yourself in the left foot. If you fail, shoot
    yourself in the right foot.

    Unix

    % ls
    foot.c foot.h foot.o toe.c toe.o
    % rm * .o
    rm:.o no such file or directory
    % ls
    %

    Concurrent Euclid
    You shoot yourself in somebody else's foot.

    370 JCL
    You send your foot down to MIS and include a 400-page document
    explaining exactly how you want it to be shot. Three years later, your
    foot comes back deep-fried.

    Paradox
    Not only can you shoot yourself in the foot, your users can, too.

    Access
    You try to point the gun at your foot, but it shoots holes in all your
    Borland distribution diskettes instead.

    Revelation
    You're sure you're going to be able to shoot yourself in the foot,
    just as soon as you figure out what all these nifty little
    bullet-thingies are for.

    Assembler
    You try to shoot yourself in the foot, only to discover you must first
    invent the gun, the bullet, the trigger, and your foot.

    Modula2
    After realizing that you can't actually accomplish anything in this
    language, you shoot yourself in the head.
     
    Collector»NZ, Nov 30, 2004
    #1
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  2. Collector»NZ

    Dave Taylor Guest

    Collector»NZ <> wrote in news:312d1vF374eqoU1@uni-
    berlin.de:

    > The proliferation of modern programming languages (all of which seem
    > to have stolen countless features from one another) sometimes makes it
    > difficult to remember which language you're currently using. This
    > handy reference is offered as a public service to help programmers who
    > find themselves in such a dilemma.
    >
    > TASK: Shoot yourself in the foot


    LOL, but I bet it is much more funny to someone who has programmed in a few
    of these languages. I sent it on to my Cold Fusion programmer friend in
    Vancouver.

    --
    Ciao, Dave
     
    Dave Taylor, Nov 30, 2004
    #2
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  3. Collector»NZ

    Crash Guest

    "Collector»NZ" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > The proliferation of modern programming languages (all of which seem
    > to have stolen countless features from one another) sometimes makes it
    > difficult to remember which language you're currently using. This
    > handy reference is offered as a public service to help programmers who
    > find themselves in such a dilemma.
    >
    > TASK: Shoot yourself in the foot
    >

    [snip]

    LINC:

    LOOK.UP; GC-FOOT (BODY) GS; GD-STATUS
    DO.WHEN GD-STATUS NOT = GLB.SPACES : No point shooting at nothing
    MESSAGE; ERROR (FOOT NOT FOUND)
    ELSE; : Who needs 2 - one is enough
    INSERT; GP-GET-GUN
    INSERT; GP-LOAD-AMMO
    MV; GC-FOOT GD-TARGET
    INSERT; GP-EXTERMINATE
    FLAG; GC-PARITYERROR BODY.STATUS : Bits now missing or dead
    MOVE; (FOOT SHOT) CONFIRM-MESS
    RECALL;
    END;


    Yeah yeah I know - exceeds the specs by first checking that there is a foot
    to be shot but that's how class programmers succeed in spite of shoddy
    specifications.

    Crash.
     
    Crash, Nov 30, 2004
    #3
  4. In article <>,
    Collector»NZ <> wrote:

    >COBOL
    >Using a COLT 45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEG.FOOT, THEN place
    >ARM.HAND.FINGER on HANDGUN.TRIGGER and SQUEEZE. THEN
    >return HANDGUN to HOLSTER. CHECK whether shoelace needs to be re-tied.


    Where did all those dots come from? COBOL used OF for qualification
    purposes the last time I used it (1985). Also no THENs. i.e.

    Using a HANDGUN OF COLT 45, AIM gun at FOOT OF LEG, place FINGER OF HAND
    OF ARM on TRIGGER OF HANDGUN and SQUEEZE. etc.

    >FORTH
    >Foot in yourself shoot.


    Forth love you if honk then!

    By the way, no PostScript?
     
    Lawrence D¹Oliveiro, Nov 30, 2004
    #4
  5. Collector»NZ

    Brendan Guest

    On Tue, 30 Nov 2004 22:08:09 +1100, Crash wrote:

    > "Collector»NZ" <> wrote in message
    > news:...
    >> The proliferation of modern programming languages (all of which seem
    >> to have stolen countless features from one another) sometimes makes it
    >> difficult to remember which language you're currently using. This
    >> handy reference is offered as a public service to help programmers who
    >> find themselves in such a dilemma.
    >>
    >> TASK: Shoot yourself in the foot


    VisualWOGER:
    You first declare feet as CRAP and all foot owners should go back to their
    Playstations. You then produce 3 URL's proving knives are better.

    Some time later you will quietly shoot your foot. No one will be at all
    surprised.

    PL-dunford:
    You wait until someone mentions Linux Feet and then whine about the
    discussion. You never shoot your foot.

    Mercer# :
    Proudly proclaim the shooting facilities of ms-foot, and list various
    methods of shooting. Disappear at the mention of cheaper alternatives.
    Don't actually do any shooting yourself.

    Brett++ :
    Declare the fault-less nature of ms-shoot, and it's compatibility with Foot
    formats. Show a screen shot of GPL-shoot running Foot.

    Tunney Script :
    Declare expertise in foot shooting. Claim possession of official foot
    shooting documentation. State lack of time. Declare nannying duties. Change
    subject. Foot remains un-shot.

    ..DAVE :
    Declare unimportance of shooting foot. Assert the foot's own fault for
    being shot. Shoot your hand.

    JamieX :
    Swear at foot until it shoots you.


    :)


    --

    .... Brendan

    "Democracy is the art of running the circus from the monkey cage." -- H. L. Mencken

    Note: All my comments are copyright 1/12/2004 12:57:45 a.m. and are opinion only where not otherwise stated and always "to the best of my recollection". www.computerman.orcon.net.nz.
     
    Brendan, Nov 30, 2004
    #5
  6. Brendan said the following on 1/12/2004 12:17 p.m.:
    > On Tue, 30 Nov 2004 22:08:09 +1100, Crash wrote:
    >
    >
    >>"Collector»NZ" <> wrote in message
    >>news:...
    >>
    >>>The proliferation of modern programming languages (all of which seem
    >>>to have stolen countless features from one another) sometimes makes it
    >>>difficult to remember which language you're currently using. This
    >>>handy reference is offered as a public service to help programmers who
    >>>find themselves in such a dilemma.
    >>>
    >>>TASK: Shoot yourself in the foot

    >
    >
    > VisualWOGER:
    > You first declare feet as CRAP and all foot owners should go back to their
    > Playstations. You then produce 3 URL's proving knives are better.
    >
    > Some time later you will quietly shoot your foot. No one will be at all
    > surprised.
    >
    > PL-dunford:
    > You wait until someone mentions Linux Feet and then whine about the
    > discussion. You never shoot your foot.
    >
    > Mercer# :
    > Proudly proclaim the shooting facilities of ms-foot, and list various
    > methods of shooting. Disappear at the mention of cheaper alternatives.
    > Don't actually do any shooting yourself.
    >
    > Brett++ :
    > Declare the fault-less nature of ms-shoot, and it's compatibility with Foot
    > formats. Show a screen shot of GPL-shoot running Foot.
    >
    > Tunney Script :
    > Declare expertise in foot shooting. Claim possession of official foot
    > shooting documentation. State lack of time. Declare nannying duties. Change
    > subject. Foot remains un-shot.
    >
    > .DAVE :
    > Declare unimportance of shooting foot. Assert the foot's own fault for
    > being shot. Shoot your hand.
    >
    > JamieX :
    > Swear at foot until it shoots you.
    >
    >
    > :)
    >
    >

    you bad

    you missed village Idiot

    Oh no more village idiot nominations required
     
    Collector»NZ, Nov 30, 2004
    #6
  7. Collector»NZ

    David Preece Guest

    Collector»NZ wrote:
    > TASK: Shoot yourself in the foot


    Objective-C:

    [self shoot:foot withGun:[[NSColt45 alloc] init]];

    You then spend the rest of the day debugging because: if there is no
    foot the program fails silently; if the gun has no bullets the program
    fails silently; if there is a foot but it doesn't respond to being shot
    the program fails silently; there is a foot but at runtime another coder
    has instantiated a different foot as a delegate of the foot you thought
    you were shooting and you shoot that one instead; but if you fail to use
    the correct combination of alloc,init,retain and/or release the program
    gives a stream of highly precise warning messages along with "just leaking".

    Experienced coders use the nib file to instantiate the foot, the gun,
    ensure the gun is correctly referenced to the foot and that the foot has
    been shot before the application has finished bouncing in the dock.

    Dave
     
    David Preece, Dec 1, 2004
    #7
  8. In article <> in nz.comp on Wed,
    01 Dec 2004 11:58:37 +1300, Lawrence D¹Oliveiro <ldo@geek-
    central.gen.new_zealand> says...
    > In article <>,
    > Collector»NZ <> wrote:
    >
    > >COBOL
    > >Using a COLT 45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEG.FOOT, THEN place
    > >ARM.HAND.FINGER on HANDGUN.TRIGGER and SQUEEZE. THEN
    > >return HANDGUN to HOLSTER. CHECK whether shoelace needs to be re-tied.

    >
    > Where did all those dots come from? COBOL used OF for qualification
    > purposes the last time I used it (1985). Also no THENs. i.e.


    Not an OO version of Cobol?

    We didn't get any of that when I learned Cobol in 1996 ?


    >
     
    Patrick Dunford, Dec 1, 2004
    #8
  9. Collector»NZ

    Brendan Guest

    On Fri, 03 Dec 2004 10:41:05 +1300, Gavin Tunney wrote:

    > Ok Brendan, here we go.......


    que Carmina Burana as background music, building slowly as our hero
    monologues his purpose to the audience...

    > This all started with a discussion on the Target program that featured PC
    > technicians who couldn't diagnose simple hardware faults. Follows is the
    > sentence I posted which got you going. All previous posts here are
    > quoted verbatim so don't try & argue them.


    Must have been on your mind a lot - I didn't bother remembering that much
    of it. It's probably your persecution complex.

    > "The faults they put on the PCs were ones which would be uncovered by
    > following industry-standard diagnostic procedures, and should still have
    > kept the bill at or near the minimum callout fee level."


    You could be making it up. Why not provide messageID's for it so we can
    look for ourselves ?

    > And you replied to this with the following post.......
    >
    > "Do you have a url for these please ?"


    I recall asking that some time later, after you declared you had copies of
    the information from official sources, and that you would produce these
    'when you had time' later on.

    > To which I replied.....
    >
    > "URL for what?"
    >
    > And you replied.....
    >
    > "The industry standard proceedures. Please."
    >
    > And I replied...
    >
    > "Oh. No, you'll have to look for yourself.... I didn't learn how to fix
    > PCs by browsing the 'net so can't give you any references there.


    That is not correct - you have altered the context and left parts out.

    Why not just produce the google groups URL, Gavin ? What are you trying to
    hide ?

    > I'm sure you'll find plenty of sites with good information on how to
    > trouble-shoot PC problems... and I'm just as sure you'll find plenty of
    > sites with bad information on the same subject."


    lol

    > And from there you started mouthing off, calling me full of shit & saying
    > I claimed to have possession of official standards etc. That was over a
    > year ago & you still haven't let it go.


    Pity it's all just your say so.

    Just post up the google url and let people decide for themselves.

    > Do you know what an adjective is Brendan?
    >
    > "Standard" can be a noun or an adjective Brendan. When preceding a noun
    > the word standard can have different meaning & context, ie "standard
    > procedure" means a procedure which is commonly used. "standard" is not a
    > noun there, it's an adjective.


    Why are you wasting our time with this pedantic verbiage ?

    > You can have a type of procedure, ie a diagnostic procedure, and if it is
    > a commonly used diagnostic procedure then you could call it a standard
    > diagnostic procedure. If the procedure happens to be used specifically
    > within a certain industry then you could call it an industry standard
    > diagnostic procedure, as in a procedure commonly used for diagnostics
    > within a particular industry.


    Are you trying to distract us from your lack of references Gavin ?

    > Now I don't make any claims to being Webster Brendan, my English is
    > adequate but by no means perfect. In case there was any confusion over a
    > misplaced hyphen or a word in the wrong place etc I made it very clear
    > in a follow up post *exactly* what I meant by the term
    > "industry-standard diagnostic procedure".


    Another ream of officious verbiage designed to distract.

    > I'm not going to quote all of my posts here, but you can be sure I have a
    > copy of them and they leave one in no doubt as to what I meant or said.


    How do we know you are not leaving things out then ?

    Something to hide ?

    > Nowhere have I made any claims to having any official documentation,
    > nowhere have I made any claims of there being any official "Industry
    > Standard". I said there were standard procedures Brendan, look the words
    > up in the dictionary.


    Why not let people decide for themselves ? Why are you worried ?

    > So you see Brendan, for the past 12months you've been stalking me at
    > every opportunity,


    Have not messaged you for months.

    > and instead of scoring points & making yourself look good at my expense
    > you've been shooting yourself in the foot.


    This whole diatribe out of you is in response to a joke about shooting
    oneself in the foot.

    > I haven't replied to your taunting Brendan, because there was nothing to
    > reply to. I never made any of the claims you attributed to me, there was
    > no need for me to defend myself.


    I think you ignored it because you knew you were wrong and wanted it to go
    away. You had made some pretty stupid claims on other subjects at that
    time IIRC.

    > Initially I thought you understood what I was saying, and I did indeed
    > post examples of the odd 'standard procedure' from time to time, like I
    > said I would do. But then it became clear that you'd wandered wildly off
    > on a tangent, so I did what any reasonable person would do... I ignored
    > you in the hope you'd quietly put it behind you and move on. But that
    > just hasn't happened has it Brendan, you've still got that chip on your
    > shoulder.


    No, I just think it's funny.

    You refuse to produce references and let people decide for themselves.
    Instead you provide your highly edited versions, bulked out with verbiage
    and pedantry.

    --

    .... Brendan

    CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time remains to him. -- Ambrose Bierce

    Note: All my comments are copyright 2/12/2004 1:42:25 p.m. and are opinion only where not otherwise stated and always "to the best of my recollection". www.computerman.orcon.net.nz.
     
    Brendan, Dec 2, 2004
    #9
  10. Collector»NZ

    Brendan Guest

    On Fri, 03 Dec 2004 09:43:21 +1300, Gavin Tunney wrote:

    > On Wed, 1 Dec 2004 12:17:06 +1300, Brendan <>
    > wrote:
    >
    >>Tunney Script :
    >>Declare expertise in foot shooting. Claim possession of official foot
    >>shooting documentation. State lack of time. Declare nannying duties. Change
    >>subject. Foot remains un-shot.

    >
    > You just can't keep your big trap shut can you Brendan.


    Says he with a stated desire to nanny the news group...

    Might make it part of my sig since you liked it soo much.

    >You were given
    > ample opportunity to quietly withdraw from this without any
    > recriminations, but you won't let it go..... you think you've got an
    > advantage & you're going to push it for all it's worth.


    I'm quaking in my boots. No, really I am. Between fits of laughter anyway.

    >Unfortunately
    > for you Brendan, you don't have any edge because you're in the wrong
    > and have been from the beginning. I've never claimed possession of any
    > official documentation Brendan, that particular claim is a figment of
    > your imagination.


    Then why did you delete them Gav ? Something to hide ?

    > Well mate, you've pushed me once too often and it's time to end this.


    Wow, it's just like a Swartzneggar film!

    > It's rather ironic I'm posting in reply to a taunt about shooting
    > oneself in the foot, because you're about to find out what the term
    > hubris really means.


    lol, you are quite a laugh when you get going.

    > Google might not archive my posts Brendan, but others do. Watch this
    > space, I'll be back soon.


    "i'll be baak" - you're a real laugh Gav. Didn't know you had it in you.

    Que the dramatic, end of film big fight music...

    --

    .... Brendan

    FUTURE, n. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured. -- Ambrose Bierce

    Note: All my comments are copyright 2/12/2004 12:16:44 p.m. and are opinion only where not otherwise stated and always "to the best of my recollection". www.computerman.orcon.net.nz.
     
    Brendan, Dec 2, 2004
    #10
  11. Collector»NZ

    Bret Guest

    On Wed, 01 Dec 2004 12:17:06 +1300, Brendan wrote:

    > On Tue, 30 Nov 2004 22:08:09 +1100, Crash wrote:
    >
    >> "Collector»NZ" <> wrote in message
    >> news:...
    >>> The proliferation of modern programming languages (all of which seem
    >>> to have stolen countless features from one another) sometimes makes it
    >>> difficult to remember which language you're currently using. This
    >>> handy reference is offered as a public service to help programmers who
    >>> find themselves in such a dilemma.
    >>>
    >>> TASK: Shoot yourself in the foot

    >
    > VisualWOGER:
    > You first declare feet as CRAP and all foot owners should go back to their
    > Playstations. You then produce 3 URL's proving knives are better.
    >
    > Some time later you will quietly shoot your foot. No one will be at all
    > surprised.
    >
    > PL-dunford:
    > You wait until someone mentions Linux Feet and then whine about the
    > discussion. You never shoot your foot.
    >
    > Mercer# :
    > Proudly proclaim the shooting facilities of ms-foot, and list various
    > methods of shooting. Disappear at the mention of cheaper alternatives.
    > Don't actually do any shooting yourself.
    >
    > Brett++ :
    > Declare the fault-less nature of ms-shoot, and it's compatibility with Foot
    > formats. Show a screen shot of GPL-shoot running Foot.
    >
    > Tunney Script :
    > Declare expertise in foot shooting. Claim possession of official foot
    > shooting documentation. State lack of time. Declare nannying duties. Change
    > subject. Foot remains un-shot.
    >
    > .DAVE :
    > Declare unimportance of shooting foot. Assert the foot's own fault for
    > being shot. Shoot your hand.
    >
    > JamieX :
    > Swear at foot until it shoots you.
    >
    >
    > :)


    Brendan basic:

    IQ>160 | /dev/null
    if else ls /dev/null loop
     
    Bret, Dec 2, 2004
    #11
  12. Collector»NZ

    Alex Axolotl Guest

    Brendan wrote:
    > On Fri, 03 Dec 2004 09:43:21 +1300, Gavin Tunney wrote:
    >
    >
    >>On Wed, 1 Dec 2004 12:17:06 +1300, Brendan <>
    >>wrote:
    >>
    >>
    >>>Tunney Script :
    >>>Declare expertise in foot shooting. Claim possession of official foot
    >>>shooting documentation. State lack of time. Declare nannying duties. Change
    >>>subject. Foot remains un-shot.

    >>
    >>You just can't keep your big trap shut can you Brendan.

    >
    >
    > Says he with a stated desire to nanny the news group...
    >
    > Might make it part of my sig since you liked it soo much.
    >
    >
    >>You were given
    >>ample opportunity to quietly withdraw from this without any
    >>recriminations, but you won't let it go..... you think you've got an
    >>advantage & you're going to push it for all it's worth.

    >
    >
    > I'm quaking in my boots. No, really I am. Between fits of laughter anyway.
    >
    >
    >>Unfortunately
    >>for you Brendan, you don't have any edge because you're in the wrong
    >>and have been from the beginning. I've never claimed possession of any
    >>official documentation Brendan, that particular claim is a figment of
    >>your imagination.

    >
    >
    > Then why did you delete them Gav ? Something to hide ?
    >
    >
    >>Well mate, you've pushed me once too often and it's time to end this.

    >
    >
    > Wow, it's just like a Swartzneggar film!
    >
    >
    >>It's rather ironic I'm posting in reply to a taunt about shooting
    >>oneself in the foot, because you're about to find out what the term
    >>hubris really means.

    >
    >
    > lol, you are quite a laugh when you get going.
    >
    >
    >>Google might not archive my posts Brendan, but others do. Watch this
    >>space, I'll be back soon.

    >
    >
    > "i'll be baak" - you're a real laugh Gav. Didn't know you had it in you.
    >
    > Que the dramatic, end of film big fight music...
    >


    Don't be so beastly and horrid
    He might develop an eating disorder, then you'll be sorry !
     
    Alex Axolotl, Dec 2, 2004
    #12
  13. Collector»NZ

    Gavin Tunney Guest

    On Wed, 1 Dec 2004 12:17:06 +1300, Brendan <>
    wrote:

    >Tunney Script :
    >Declare expertise in foot shooting. Claim possession of official foot
    >shooting documentation. State lack of time. Declare nannying duties. Change
    >subject. Foot remains un-shot.


    You just can't keep your big trap shut can you Brendan. You were given
    ample opportunity to quietly withdraw from this without any
    recriminations, but you won't let it go..... you think you've got an
    advantage & you're going to push it for all it's worth. Unfortunately
    for you Brendan, you don't have any edge because you're in the wrong
    and have been from the beginning. I've never claimed possession of any
    official documentation Brendan, that particular claim is a figment of
    your imagination.

    Well mate, you've pushed me once too often and it's time to end this.
    It's rather ironic I'm posting in reply to a taunt about shooting
    oneself in the foot, because you're about to find out what the term
    hubris really means.

    Google might not archive my posts Brendan, but others do. Watch this
    space, I'll be back soon.


    Gavin
     
    Gavin Tunney, Dec 2, 2004
    #13
  14. Collector»NZ

    Gavin Tunney Guest

    On Wed, 1 Dec 2004 12:17:06 +1300, Brendan <>
    wrote:

    >Tunney Script :
    >Declare expertise in foot shooting. Claim possession of official foot
    >shooting documentation. State lack of time. Declare nannying duties. Change
    >subject. Foot remains un-shot.


    Ok Brendan, here we go.......

    This all started with a discussion on the Target program that featured
    PC technicians who couldn't diagnose simple hardware faults. Follows
    is the sentence I posted which got you going. All previous posts here
    are quoted verbatim so don't try & argue them.

    "The faults they put on the PCs were ones which would be uncovered by
    following industry-standard diagnostic procedures, and should still
    have kept the bill at or near the minimum callout fee level."

    And you replied to this with the following post.......

    "Do you have a url for these please ?"

    To which I replied.....

    "URL for what?"

    And you replied.....

    "The industry standard proceedures. Please."

    And I replied...

    "Oh. No, you'll have to look for yourself.... I didn't learn how to
    fix PCs by browsing the 'net so can't give you any references there.

    I'm sure you'll find plenty of sites with good information on how to
    trouble-shoot PC problems... and I'm just as sure you'll find plenty
    of sites with bad information on the same subject."
    _________________________

    And from there you started mouthing off, calling me full of shit &
    saying I claimed to have possession of official standards etc. That
    was over a year ago & you still haven't let it go.

    Do you know what an adjective is Brendan?

    "Standard" can be a noun or an adjective Brendan. When preceding a
    noun the word standard can have different meaning & context, ie
    "standard procedure" means a procedure which is commonly used.
    "standard" is not a noun there, it's an adjective.

    You can have a type of procedure, ie a diagnostic procedure, and if it
    is a commonly used diagnostic procedure then you could call it a
    standard diagnostic procedure. If the procedure happens to be used
    specifically within a certain industry then you could call it an
    industry standard diagnostic procedure, as in a procedure commonly
    used for diagnostics within a particular industry.

    Now I don't make any claims to being Webster Brendan, my English is
    adequate but by no means perfect. In case there was any confusion over
    a misplaced hyphen or a word in the wrong place etc I made it very
    clear in a follow up post *exactly* what I meant by the term
    "industry-standard diagnostic procedure". I'm not going to quote all
    of my posts here, but you can be sure I have a copy of them and they
    leave one in no doubt as to what I meant or said.

    Nowhere have I made any claims to having any official documentation,
    nowhere have I made any claims of there being any official "Industry
    Standard". I said there were standard procedures Brendan, look the
    words up in the dictionary.

    So you see Brendan, for the past 12months you've been stalking me at
    every opportunity, and instead of scoring points & making yourself
    look good at my expense you've been shooting yourself in the foot. I
    haven't replied to your taunting Brendan, because there was nothing to
    reply to. I never made any of the claims you attributed to me, there
    was no need for me to defend myself.

    Initially I thought you understood what I was saying, and I did indeed
    post examples of the odd 'standard procedure' from time to time, like
    I said I would do. But then it became clear that you'd wandered wildly
    off on a tangent, so I did what any reasonable person would do... I
    ignored you in the hope you'd quietly put it behind you and move on.
    But that just hasn't happened has it Brendan, you've still got that
    chip on your shoulder.

    Time to let it rest Brendan

    Gavin
     
    Gavin Tunney, Dec 2, 2004
    #14
  15. Collector»NZ

    Gavin Tunney Guest

    On Thu, 2 Dec 2004 13:44:45 +1300, Brendan <>
    wrote:

    >
    >You refuse to produce references and let people decide for themselves.
    >Instead you provide your highly edited versions, bulked out with verbiage
    >and pedantry.


    I don't need Google with its missing posts and out-of-context
    attributions Brendan. I have obtained copies of all the original
    posts, in the timeline they were made and in their full context. I'm
    not interested in convincing 'people' of anything, or letting 'people'
    decide anything. This isn't a jury trial. People who read the thread
    in question, and still remember it, already know what I said. You're
    the only person making false accusations against me. It's just you
    Brendan, it always has been.

    NOTHING was edited in the posts I just repeated, they were quoted
    verbatim and they were quoted in the correct sequence. Call me a liar
    in public at your own risk Brendan. Here's the next post in the
    sequence. It is your reply to the last post I repeated, it is again
    quoted verbatim and this time with all posting attributes.

    Begin quote..
    ____________________________________________

    Path:
    news.xtra.co.nz!newsfeed01.tsnz.net!news02.tsnz.net!news.iconz.co.nz!news.orcon.net.nz!not-for-mail
    From: bt <>
    Newsgroups: nz.comp
    Subject: Re: Target Tonite - Comp Techs
    Organization: Pbclevtug (p) 2002 Oeraqna Gubzcfba. Nyy evtugf
    erfreirq.
    Message-ID: <>
    References: <>
    <uMabb.154358$>
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    <>
    <> <3f6e9565$>
    <>
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    <>
    <>
    <>
    X-Newsreader: Forte Agent 1.91/32.564
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    X-Original-NNTP-Posting-Host: port-219-88-248-239.jet.net.nz
    X-Original-Trace: 25 Sep 2003 18:42:20 +1200,
    port-219-88-248-239.jet.net.nz
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    X-Original-NNTP-Posting-Host: news.orcon.net.nz
    X-Original-Trace: 25 Sep 2003 17:59:09 +1200, news.orcon.net.nz
    Date: Thu, 25 Sep 2003 18:00:13 +1200
    NNTP-Posting-Host: 210.48.22.5
    X-Complaints-To:
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    18:00:09 NZST)
    NNTP-Posting-Date: Thu, 25 Sep 2003 18:00:09 NZST
    Xref: news.xtra.co.nz nz.comp:199167

    On Wed, 24 Sep 2003 19:58:39 GMT, (Gavin Tunney)
    wrote:

    >>The industry standard proceedures. Please.


    >Oh. No, you'll have to look for yourself.... I didn't learn how to fix
    >PCs by browsing the 'net so can't give you any references there.


    And risk people thinking you are full of shit ? No, you're too smart
    for that Gav...

    And besides, all of us here know that this news group is here so we
    can share information and advice about computers, which includes
    problems.

    >I'm sure you'll find plenty of sites with good information on how to
    >trouble-shoot PC problems... and I'm just as sure you'll find plenty
    >of sites with bad information on the same subject.


    I'm sure I would.

    But what I am after Gavin is a copy of the NZ PC Repair Industry
    Standards you say you have.

    You see, popular opinion is that they do not exist. I've tried finding
    them, as have many. I think that with your clearly superior knowledge
    on the subject you could, at a stroke, get rid of all the cowboys by
    simply pointing them out to all us concerned citizens...


    Brendan (Avatar)

    --
    ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸

    Check out my cool Water Cooling Project!
    http://www.computerman.orcon.net.nz/WaterCooling1.html

    Email: corum.usenet@myrealbox (dot com). No Timewasters. No UCE.
    My comments are IMHO, IIRC, FYI, and Copyright.
    ___________________________________________________

    End quote

    There we have your first accusations against me of having a copy of
    the "NZ PC Repair Industry Standards", along with an attack on my
    professional integrity. And from there it all went downhill.

    The ONLY times I used the term 'industry standard' prior to this post
    of yours was in the phrase "industry-standard diagnostic procedures"
    and in a later reply to another poster where I explained the context
    of those words & how I was using them, ie I said I meant
    industry-standard as a "commonly accepted way of doing something in a
    particular industry" I said 'standard' was being used as an adjective.

    Your whole beef against me has been over four words arranged together
    in a phrase. That's the sum total of your case Brendan, four simple
    words. The hyphen was intended to show 'industry-standard' as a
    compound expression. I have wondered if that made the phrase seem
    ambiguous or have different meaning to what I intended but I don't
    think it did. But anyway, what I haven't made there is any claims
    about possession of standards or the existence of official standards.
    And yet you've been saying I have said just that, in those four words.
    I've been through every post I made, and there is NOTHING to even hint
    at such a claim in any of my posts.

    I've never claimed to have possession of any standards, ie standards
    as in the noun type there. I've never claimed there to be any official
    standards, in fact I was having a friendly discussion with another
    poster in that thread about the very lack of standards in the industry
    when you bust in and soured things.

    From that one innocuous phrase you have attacked my personal and
    professional integrity, you've launched numerous unprovoked attacks on
    me and you've continued to make false and baseless acusations against
    me. All in a public forum.

    I'm not interested in debating this with you Brendan. I'm not even
    interested in trying to convince you that you were wrong. I'm posting
    all this to show you that I'm more than capable of playing the game,
    and that if I have to I can play it just as hard & tough. I have never
    made a single unprovoked attack on you, every shot I've fired has been
    in retaliation to an unprovoked attack you made on me. But if I have
    to I can make the first moves too.

    There's only one thing I ask of, or want from, you Brendan. Put it
    behind you.....forget it. It's over, finished, forgotten the minute
    its left alone. Time to move on, there's more important things in life
    than holding a grudge over a petty newsgroup spat. You can't keep
    publicly slandering people mate, it's stupid and it's pointless.

    Gavin
     
    Gavin Tunney, Dec 5, 2004
    #15
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