Dealing with Those dreaded Christmas DVDs

Discussion in 'DVD Video' started by dvdremover@~~~~~~~~~~.com, Nov 22, 2005.

  1. What to do if you get a DVD for Christmas.

    1. You know that whoever gave it to you wants you to get VD, (venereal
    disease), so the first thing to do it punch them in the face.

    2. Take a hammer and immediately beat the DVD until its at least 25
    pieces.

    3. Build a large fire and burn the pieces from the damn thing, being
    careful not to inhale the toxic, radioactive smoke.

    4. Wash you hands carefully using a strong detergent to remove any
    radioactive waste.

    5. Find the asshole that gave you that DVD and beat the **** out of
    them one more time for causing you all that trouble.

    Note: If someone also gives you a DVD playing machine, immediately cut
    the cord off of it, wrap the cord around the neck of that person that
    gave it to you and hang them with the cord. Once they are hanging, be
    sure to plug the cord into an outlet so insure they die.
     
    dvdremover@~~~~~~~~~~.com, Nov 22, 2005
    #1
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  2. dvdremover@~~~~~~~~~~.com

    Bratboy Guest

    <dvdremover@~~~~~~~~~~.com> wrote in message
    news:...
    >
    > Note: If someone also gives you a DVD playing machine, immediately cut
    > the cord off of it, wrap the cord around the neck of that person that
    > gave it to you and hang them with the cord. Once they are hanging, be
    > sure to plug the cord into an outlet so insure they die.
    >
    >


    Okay, give me your addy and I'll mail you one...I'm sure I'll get a Tax
    write-off for sending you one as a public service for the world LOL
     
    Bratboy, Nov 22, 2005
    #2
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  3. dvdremover@~~~~~~~~~~.com

    Fay Guest

    dvdremover@~~~~~~~~~~.com wrote in
    news::

    > What to do if you get a DVD for Christmas.
    >
    > 1. You know that whoever gave it to you wants you to get VD, (venereal
    > disease), so the first thing to do it punch them in the face.
    >
    > 2. Take a hammer and immediately beat the DVD until its at least 25
    > pieces.
    >
    > 3. Build a large fire and burn the pieces from the damn thing, being
    > careful not to inhale the toxic, radioactive smoke.
    >
    > 4. Wash you hands carefully using a strong detergent to remove any
    > radioactive waste.
    >
    > 5. Find the asshole that gave you that DVD and beat the **** out of
    > them one more time for causing you all that trouble.
    >
    > Note: If someone also gives you a DVD playing machine, immediately cut
    > the cord off of it, wrap the cord around the neck of that person that
    > gave it to you and hang them with the cord. Once they are hanging, be
    > sure to plug the cord into an outlet so insure they die.
    >
    >


    My daughter has ask for the TV series "24". Should I not buy them for her?
     
    Fay, Nov 23, 2005
    #3
  4. On Wed, 23 Nov 2005 00:16:46 -0000, Fay <> wrote:

    >dvdremover@~~~~~~~~~~.com wrote in
    >news::
    >
    >> What to do if you get a DVD for Christmas.
    >>
    >> 1. You know that whoever gave it to you wants you to get VD, (venereal
    >> disease), so the first thing to do it punch them in the face.
    >>
    >> 2. Take a hammer and immediately beat the DVD until its at least 25
    >> pieces.
    >>
    >> 3. Build a large fire and burn the pieces from the damn thing, being
    >> careful not to inhale the toxic, radioactive smoke.
    >>
    >> 4. Wash you hands carefully using a strong detergent to remove any
    >> radioactive waste.
    >>
    >> 5. Find the asshole that gave you that DVD and beat the **** out of
    >> them one more time for causing you all that trouble.
    >>
    >> Note: If someone also gives you a DVD playing machine, immediately cut
    >> the cord off of it, wrap the cord around the neck of that person that
    >> gave it to you and hang them with the cord. Once they are hanging, be
    >> sure to plug the cord into an outlet so insure they die.
    >>
    >>

    >
    >My daughter has ask for the TV series "24". Should I not buy them for her?


    Definately not. Just because she asked for it, wont stop her from
    beating the crap out of you after she gets it. Besides, why would you
    want to give your daughter the DREADED VENEREAL DISEASE !
     
    dvdremover@~~~~~~~~~~.com, Nov 23, 2005
    #4
  5. <dvdremover@~~~~~~~~~~.com> wrote in message
    news:...
    > What to do if you get a DVD for Christmas.


    1) Thank the gift giver.

    2) Open it.

    3) Put it in your DVD player. If you do not own one
    then go out the next day and buy one.

    4) Watch the DVD.

    5) Enjoy.

    See.... now that wasn't very hard at all. :)
     
    Brian The Demolition Man Little, Nov 25, 2005
    #5
  6. On Thu, 24 Nov 2005 22:49:04 -0600, "Brian The Demolition Man Little"
    <> wrote:

    ><dvdremover@~~~~~~~~~~.com> wrote in message
    >news:...
    >> What to do if you get a DVD for Christmas.

    >
    >1) Thank the gift giver.
    >
    >2) Open it.
    >
    >3) Put it in your DVD player. If you do not own one
    >then go out the next day and buy one.
    >
    >4) Watch the DVD.
    >


    I tried to watch a DVD once. I watched it for a half hour.
    It did nothing at all, and watching it was really boring. It just
    laid on the table. It never moved or danced or anything. I finally
    took it out of the plastic case and looked at the disk thingee inside.
    I watched that thing for another half hour. That thing didnt do
    nothing either. Why do people watch them? Its really boring.

    >5) Enjoy.
    >
    >See.... now that wasn't very hard at all. :)
    >
     
    dvdremover@~~~~~~~~~~.com, Nov 26, 2005
    #6
  7. dvdremover@~~~~~~~~~~.com

    Black Locust Guest

    In article <>,
    dvdremover@~~~~~~~~~~.com wrote:

    > I tried to watch a DVD once. I watched it for a half hour.
    > It did nothing at all, and watching it was really boring. It just
    > laid on the table. It never moved or danced or anything. I finally
    > took it out of the plastic case and looked at the disk thingee inside.
    > I watched that thing for another half hour. That thing didnt do
    > nothing either. Why do people watch them? Its really boring.


    I guess you missed this part:

    > >3) Put it in your DVD player. If you do not own one
    > >then go out the next day and buy one.


    Stupid troll..
    --
    "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we.
    They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people,
    and neither do we." - George Dumbya Bush
     
    Black Locust, Nov 28, 2005
    #7
  8. "Black Locust" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > In article <>,
    > dvdremover@~~~~~~~~~~.com wrote:
    >
    >> I tried to watch a DVD once. I watched it for a half hour.
    >> It did nothing at all, and watching it was really boring. It just
    >> laid on the table. It never moved or danced or anything. I finally
    >> took it out of the plastic case and looked at the disk thingee inside.
    >> I watched that thing for another half hour. That thing didnt do
    >> nothing either. Why do people watch them? Its really boring.

    >
    > I guess you missed this part:
    >
    >> >3) Put it in your DVD player. If you do not own one
    >> >then go out the next day and buy one.

    >
    > Stupid troll..


    Naw, he probably was trying to watch "Gigli." ;-)

    Brian The Demolition Man Little
     
    Brian The Demolition Man Little, Dec 28, 2005
    #8
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