Computer Skills:

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by x@y, Jun 29, 2006.

  1. x@y

    x@y Guest

    Subject: Computer skills







    This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills! If you skip any,
    you have to read the last one! Unbelievable, but supposedly all true!!!!

    =================================
    Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
    Female customer: A white one...
    ===============

    Customer: Hi, this is Celina. I can't get my diskette out.
    Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
    Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
    Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
    Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my
    desk... sorry....


    ===============


    Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
    Customer: Your left or my left?


    ===============


    Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
    Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
    Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
    Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill
    Gates.


    ===============


    Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I
    try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in
    front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...


    ===============


    Customer: I have problems printing in red...
    Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
    Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.


    ===============


    Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
    Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.


    ===============


    Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
    Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
    Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
    Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back
    Customer:! OK
    Tech support; Did the keyboard come with you?
    Customer: Yes
    Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another
    keyboard?
    Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...


    ===============


    Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital
    letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
    Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?


    == =============


    Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
    Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
    Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
    Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
    Customer: Five stars.


    ===============


    Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
    Customer: Netscape.
    Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
    Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.


    ===============


    Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my
    computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.


    ===============


    Tech support: How may I help you?
    Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
    Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
    Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the
    circle around it?


    ===============


    A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
    Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
    Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The
    man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is
    working fine."


    ===============


    And last but not least...

    Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same
    time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the
    letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager"
    Customer: I don't have a P.
    Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
    Customer: What do you mean?
    Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
    Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
    x@y, Jun 29, 2006
    #1
    1. Advertising

  2. x@y

    John Holmes Guest

    x@y "contributed" in 24hoursupport.helpdesk:

    > Subject: Computer skills
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills! If you
    > skip any, you have to read the last one! Unbelievable, but supposedly
    > all true!!!!
    >
    > =================================
    > Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
    > Female customer: A white one...
    > ===============
    >
    > Customer: Hi, this is Celina. I can't get my diskette out.
    > Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
    > Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
    > Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
    > Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's
    > still on my
    > desk... sorry....
    >
    >
    > ===============
    >
    >
    > Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of
    > the screen. Customer: Your left or my left?
    >
    >
    > ===============
    >
    >
    > Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
    > Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
    > Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
    > Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not
    > Bill
    > Gates.
    >
    >
    > ===============
    >
    >
    > Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every
    > time I
    > try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and
    > placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he
    > can't find it...
    >
    >
    > ===============
    >
    >
    > Customer: I have problems printing in red...
    > Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
    > Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
    >
    >
    > ===============
    >
    >
    > Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
    > Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
    >
    >
    > ===============
    >
    >
    > Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
    > Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
    > Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
    > Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back
    > Customer:! OK
    > Tech support; Did the keyboard come with you?
    > Customer: Yes
    > Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there
    > another
    > keyboard?
    > Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does
    > work...
    >
    >
    > ===============
    >
    >
    > Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a
    > capital
    > letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
    > Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
    >
    >
    > == =============
    >
    >
    > Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
    > Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
    > Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
    > Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
    > Customer: Five stars.
    >
    >
    > ===============
    >
    >
    > Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
    > Customer: Netscape.
    > Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
    > Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
    >
    >
    > ===============
    >
    >
    > Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen
    > saver on my
    > computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
    >
    >
    > ===============
    >
    >
    > Tech support: How may I help you?
    > Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
    > Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
    > Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I
    > get the
    > circle around it?
    >
    >
    > ===============
    >
    >
    > A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with
    > her printer. Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
    > Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good
    > point. The
    > man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his
    > printer is working fine."
    >
    >
    > ===============
    >
    >
    > And last but not least...
    >
    > Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys
    > at the same
    > time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type
    > the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager"
    > Customer: I don't have a P.
    > Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
    > Customer: What do you mean?
    > Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
    > Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >


    LOL

    --
    Your mother was a malodorous mud wrestler who couldn't get enough whisky
    in pawn shops.
    John Holmes, Jun 29, 2006
    #2
    1. Advertising

  3. x@y

    Guest

    "x@y" <> wrote:

    |>This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!

    Other than "do you still have the box the computer came in" my fav is,

    Guy calls support, "my coffee cup holder broke.
    Support says the computer has no cup holder
    Guy says sure there is, you push a button and it slides out, well it's
    broke now.



    --
    http://tinyurl.com/zhmmq
    , Jun 30, 2006
    #3
  4. x@y

    ProfGene Guest

    x@y wrote:
    > Subject: Computer skills
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills! If you
    > skip any, you have to read the last one! Unbelievable, but supposedly
    > all true!!!!
    >
    > =================================
    > Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
    > Female customer: A white one...
    > ===============
    >
    > Customer: Hi, this is Celina. I can't get my diskette out.
    > Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
    > Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
    > Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
    > Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still
    > on my desk... sorry....
    >
    >
    > ===============
    >
    >
    > Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the
    > screen.
    > Customer: Your left or my left?
    >
    >
    > ===============
    >
    >
    > Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
    > Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
    > Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
    > Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not
    > Bill Gates.
    >
    >
    > ===============
    >
    >
    > Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every
    > time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer
    > and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he
    > can't find it...
    >
    >
    > ===============
    >
    >
    > Customer: I have problems printing in red...
    > Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
    > Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
    >
    >
    > ===============
    >
    >
    > Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
    > Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
    >
    >
    > ===============
    >
    >
    > Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
    > Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
    > Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
    > Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back
    > Customer:! OK
    > Tech support; Did the keyboard come with you?
    > Customer: Yes
    > Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there
    > another keyboard?
    > Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
    >
    >
    > ===============
    >
    >
    > Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a
    > capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
    > Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
    >
    >
    > == =============
    >
    >
    > Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
    > Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
    > Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
    > Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
    > Customer: Five stars.
    >
    >
    > ===============
    >
    >
    > Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
    > Customer: Netscape.
    > Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
    > Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
    >
    >
    > ===============
    >
    >
    > Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver
    > on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
    >
    >
    > ===============
    >
    >
    > Tech support: How may I help you?
    > Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
    > Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
    > Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I
    > get the circle around it?
    >
    >
    > ===============
    >
    >
    > A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
    > printer.
    > Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
    > Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.
    > The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his
    > printer is working fine."
    >
    >
    > ===============
    >
    >
    > And last but not least...
    >
    > Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at
    > the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
    > Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager"
    > Customer: I don't have a P.
    > Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
    > Customer: What do you mean?
    > Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
    > Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
    >
    >
    >
    >
    ProfGene, Jun 30, 2006
    #4
  5. x@y

    x@y Guest

    <> wrote in message
    ..
    > "x@y" <> wrote:
    >
    > |>This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!


    Hi Pennywise,
    The above line is part of the computer skills Joke, this is the
    way It was sent to me, I read it and posted without editing.

    > Other than "do you still have the box the computer came in" my fav is,
    >
    > Guy calls support, "my coffee cup holder broke.
    > Support says the computer has no cup holder
    > Guy says sure there is, you push a button and it slides out, well it's
    > broke now.


    "The above is a good one it should be with the other bunch"

    I have two coffee cup holders installed on my Computer,
    one is an "LG" the other is a "Plextor"
    The "LG" is installed on the bottom, and the "Plextor" on top.

    My problem is that when I using the "LG" as coffee holder,
    if I want to use the "Plextor" to hold Donuts, when I push the
    "Plextor's" Button will knock my coffee on the floor.

    :) x@y

    > http://tinyurl.com/zhmmq
    x@y, Jun 30, 2006
    #5
  6. x@y

    x@y Guest

    Hello ProfGene,

    I see no comment on Your reply, just a repost.
    LOL x@y
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "ProfGene" <> wrote in message

    > x@y wrote:
    >> Subject: Computer skills


    >> This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills! If you
    >> skip any, you have to read the last one! Unbelievable, but supposedly
    >> all true!!!!
    >>
    >> =================================
    >> Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
    >> Female customer: A white one...
    >> ===============
    >>
    >> Customer: Hi, this is Celina. I can't get my diskette out.
    >> Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
    >> Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
    >> Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
    >> Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still
    >> on my desk... sorry....
    >>
    >>
    >> ===============
    >>
    >>
    >> Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the
    >> screen.
    >> Customer: Your left or my left?
    >>
    >>
    >> ===============
    >>
    >>
    >> Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
    >> Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
    >> Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
    >> Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not
    >> Bill Gates.
    >>
    >>
    >> ===============
    >>
    >>
    >> Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every
    >> time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer
    >> and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he
    >> can't find it...
    >>
    >>
    >> ===============
    >>
    >>
    >> Customer: I have problems printing in red...
    >> Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
    >> Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
    >>
    >>
    >> ===============
    >>
    >>
    >> Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
    >> Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
    >>
    >>
    >> ===============
    >>
    >>
    >> Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
    >> Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
    >> Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
    >> Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back
    >> Customer:! OK
    >> Tech support; Did the keyboard come with you?
    >> Customer: Yes
    >> Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there
    >> another keyboard?
    >> Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
    >>
    >>
    >> ===============
    >>
    >>
    >> Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a
    >> capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
    >> Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
    >>
    >>
    >> == =============
    >>
    >>
    >> Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
    >> Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
    >> Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
    >> Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
    >> Customer: Five stars.
    >>
    >>
    >> ===============
    >>
    >>
    >> Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
    >> Customer: Netscape.
    >> Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
    >> Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
    >>
    >>
    >> ===============
    >>
    >>
    >> Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver
    >> on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
    >>
    >>
    >> ===============
    >>
    >>
    >> Tech support: How may I help you?
    >> Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
    >> Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
    >> Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I
    >> get the circle around it?
    >>
    >>
    >> ===============
    >>
    >>
    >> A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
    >> printer.
    >> Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
    >> Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.
    >> The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his
    >> printer is working fine."
    >>
    >>
    >> ===============
    >>
    >>
    >> And last but not least...
    >>
    >> Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at
    >> the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
    >> Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager"
    >> Customer: I don't have a P.
    >> Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
    >> Customer: What do you mean?
    >> Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
    >> Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
    x@y, Jun 30, 2006
    #6
    1. Advertising

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