Changing a light bulb

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by Mr. E, Dec 6, 2003.

  1. Mr. E

    Mr. E Guest

    Saw this on another newsgroup and thought I'd share:

    Question: How many subscribers to a newsgroup does it take to change a light
    bulb?

    Answer: 275

    1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

    14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light
    bulb could have been changed differently

    7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

    27 to flame posters for spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing
    light bulbs

    41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

    6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...

    Another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

    2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

    27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs

    12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot
    handle the light bulb controversy

    4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

    44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

    2 to post reasons why the light bulb burning out is the result of a
    government conspiracy

    4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

    43 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs"

    8 to accuse posters of being pedophiles

    6 to file abuse reports on posters for posting off-topic

    20 to accuse the OP of being a troll

    1 lurker to respond to the original post 6 months later and start the whole
    thing all over again!!!!!!
    Mr. E, Dec 6, 2003
    #1
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  2. Mr. E

    rifleman Guest

    In article <r6sAb.28$>, lid
    says...
    |Saw this on another newsgroup and thought I'd share:
    |
    |Question: How many subscribers to a newsgroup does it take to change a light
    |bulb?
    |
    |Answer: 275
    |


    Q:How many Microsoft technicians does it take to change a light bulb?

    A; None - Bill gates just re-defines darkness as the industry Standard.
    rifleman, Dec 6, 2003
    #2
    1. Advertising

  3. Mr. E

    SgtMinor Guest

    Please post this sort of message on news:alt.change.lightbulb

    "Mr. E" wrote:
    >
    > Saw this on another newsgroup and thought I'd share:
    >
    > Question: How many subscribers to a newsgroup does it take to change a light
    > bulb?
    >
    > Answer: 275
    >
    > 1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
    >
    > 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light
    > bulb could have been changed differently
    >
    > 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
    >
    > 27 to flame posters for spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing
    > light bulbs
    >
    > 41 to correct spelling/grammar flames
    >
    > 6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...
    >
    > Another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive
    >
    > 2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
    >
    > 27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs
    >
    > 12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot
    > handle the light bulb controversy
    >
    > 4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ
    >
    > 44 to ask what is a "FAQ"
    >
    > 2 to post reasons why the light bulb burning out is the result of a
    > government conspiracy
    >
    > 4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
    >
    > 43 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs"
    >
    > 8 to accuse posters of being pedophiles
    >
    > 6 to file abuse reports on posters for posting off-topic
    >
    > 20 to accuse the OP of being a troll
    >
    > 1 lurker to respond to the original post 6 months later and start the whole
    > thing all over again!!!!!!
    SgtMinor, Dec 6, 2003
    #3
  4. Mr. E

    rifleman Guest

    In article <>,
    lid says...
    |Please post this sort of message on news:alt.change.lightbulb
    |
    |"Mr. E" wrote:
    |>
    |> Saw this on another newsgroup and thought I'd share:
    |>
    |> Question: How many subscribers to a newsgroup does it take to change a light
    |> bulb?
    |>
    |> Answer: 275
    |>
    |> 1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
    |>
    |> 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light
    |> bulb could have been changed differently
    |>
    |> 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
    |>
    |> 27 to flame posters for spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing
    |> light bulbs
    |>
    |> 41 to correct spelling/grammar flames
    |>
    |> 6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...
    |>
    |> Another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive
    |>
    |> 2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
    |>
    |> 27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs
    |>
    |> 12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot
    |> handle the light bulb controversy
    |>
    |> 4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ
    |>
    |> 44 to ask what is a "FAQ"
    |>
    |> 2 to post reasons why the light bulb burning out is the result of a
    |> government conspiracy
    |>
    |> 4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
    |>
    |> 43 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs"
    |>
    |> 8 to accuse posters of being pedophiles
    |>
    |> 6 to file abuse reports on posters for posting off-topic
    |>
    |> 20 to accuse the OP of being a troll
    |>
    |> 1 lurker to respond to the original post 6 months later and start the whole
    |> thing all over again!!!!!!
    |
    can't - the fuse has gone.
    rifleman, Dec 6, 2003
    #4
  5. Mr. E

    Boomer Guest

    SgtMinor <> wrote in
    news::

    > Please post this sort of message on news:alt.change.lightbulb


    Or maybe alt.troll?

    colorado-springs qwest.net

    67.1.146.13 Asmodeus

    67.1.138.253 Baron Maximillian von Schtuldeworfshiseundurheimhoppen
    67.1.146.8
    67.1.154.100

    67.1.146.116 Baron Wolfgar von Schtuldeworfshiseundurheimhoppen

    67.1.139.77 Brigham Young

    67.1.146.61 Dr. Sivasubramanian Chandrasegarampillai

    67.1.155.40 Faahk Hugh

    67.1.128.188 Father Joeseph Murphy O'Brian

    67.1.138.101 Gen. Montgomery Steele, Ret.

    67.1.147.125 George Washington

    67.1.154.57 Lord Avner Williamsburr Smythe

    67.1.139.74 Me

    67.1.159.218 Mr. E

    67.1.155.151 No

    67.1.138.101 Prince Albert Innahkan

    67.1.139.80 Rev. Quentin P. Johannas

    67.1.139.77 Sez Me

    67.1.139.80 Sir Horatio William Bernhart Wagglesworth III, Esq.
    Boomer, Dec 6, 2003
    #5
  6. Mr. E

    Jammer Guest

    What a sock puppet? :)

    Broom wrote:
    gtMinor <> wrote in
    > news::
    >
    >> Please post this sort of message on news:alt.change.lightbulb

    >
    > Or maybe alt.troll?
    >
    > colorado-springs qwest.net
    >
    > 67.1.146.13 Asmodeus
    >
    > 67.1.138.253 Baron Maximillian von Schtuldeworfshiseundurheimhoppen
    > 67.1.146.8
    > 67.1.154.100
    >
    > 67.1.146.116 Baron Wolfgar von Schtuldeworfshiseundurheimhoppen
    >
    > 67.1.139.77 Brigham Young
    >
    > 67.1.146.61 Dr. Sivasubramanian Chandrasegarampillai
    >
    > 67.1.155.40 Faahk Hugh
    >
    > 67.1.128.188 Father Joeseph Murphy O'Brian
    >
    > 67.1.138.101 Gen. Montgomery Steele, Ret.
    >
    > 67.1.147.125 George Washington
    >
    > 67.1.154.57 Lord Avner Williamsburr Smythe
    >
    > 67.1.139.74 Me
    >
    > 67.1.159.218 Mr. E
    >
    > 67.1.155.151 No
    >
    > 67.1.138.101 Prince Albert Innahkan
    >
    > 67.1.139.80 Rev. Quentin P. Johannas
    >
    > 67.1.139.77 Sez Me
    >
    > 67.1.139.80 Sir Horatio William Bernhart Wagglesworth III, Esq.
    Jammer, Dec 7, 2003
    #6
  7. Mr. E

    TRADESMAN Guest

    Mr. E wrote:
    > Saw this on another newsgroup and thought I'd share:
    >
    > Question: How many subscribers to a newsgroup does it take to change
    > a light bulb?
    >
    > Answer: 275
    >
    >


    Mmm.... so whose left to tell him to change the clock and/ or Time Zone
    settings?
    TRADESMAN, Dec 7, 2003
    #7
  8. Mr. E

    SgtMinor Guest

    Boomer wrote:
    >
    > SgtMinor <> wrote in
    > news::
    >
    > > Please post this sort of message on news:alt.change.lightbulb

    >
    > Or maybe alt.troll?
    >
    > colorado-springs qwest.net
    >
    > 67.1.146.13 Asmodeus
    >
    > 67.1.138.253 Baron Maximillian von Schtuldeworfshiseundurheimhoppen
    > 67.1.146.8
    > 67.1.154.100
    >
    > 67.1.146.116 Baron Wolfgar von Schtuldeworfshiseundurheimhoppen
    >
    > 67.1.139.77 Brigham Young
    >
    > 67.1.146.61 Dr. Sivasubramanian Chandrasegarampillai
    >
    > 67.1.155.40 Faahk Hugh
    >
    > 67.1.128.188 Father Joeseph Murphy O'Brian
    >
    > 67.1.138.101 Gen. Montgomery Steele, Ret.
    >
    > 67.1.147.125 George Washington
    >
    > 67.1.154.57 Lord Avner Williamsburr Smythe
    >
    > 67.1.139.74 Me
    >
    > 67.1.159.218 Mr. E
    >
    > 67.1.155.151 No
    >
    > 67.1.138.101 Prince Albert Innahkan
    >
    > 67.1.139.80 Rev. Quentin P. Johannas
    >
    > 67.1.139.77 Sez Me
    >
    > 67.1.139.80 Sir Horatio William Bernhart Wagglesworth III, Esq.


    I hadn't noticed that one! But it was a funny list, and here's one I
    actually lifted off alt.change.lightbulbs. (Modified from post by
    "David or Robin" - really!)

    Dogs' responses to lightbulb changing need:

    Labrador: Oh, me, me!! Pleeeeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can
    I?
    Can I? Huh? Can I? Can I?

    Jack Russell terrier: I’ll pop it in while I bounce off the walls.

    Poodle: I’ll just blow in the border collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By
    the
    time he rewires the house, my nails will be dry.

    German shepherd: Everyone stop where you are! Who busted the light? I
    SAID
    “STOP WHERE YOU ARE!!!”

    Cocker spaniel: Why change it? I’ll pee on the carpet in the dark.

    Australian cattle dog: First, I’ll herd the light bulbs into a circle…

    Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp!

    English sheep dog: Light bulb? Sorry, I don’t see a light bulb.

    Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.

    Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb

    Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there…

    Greyhound: It isn’t moving. Who cares?

    Rottweiler: Make me.
    SgtMinor, Dec 7, 2003
    #8
  9. Mr. E

    Boomer Guest

    SgtMinor <> wrote in
    [snip]
    > I hadn't noticed that one! But it was a funny list, and here's
    > one I actually lifted off alt.change.lightbulbs. (Modified from
    > post by "David or Robin" - really!)
    >
    > Dogs' responses to lightbulb changing need:
    >
    > Labrador: Oh, me, me!! Pleeeeeeeeeeeze let me change the light
    > bulb! Can I?
    > Can I? Huh? Can I? Can I?
    >
    > Jack Russell terrier: I’ll pop it in while I bounce off the walls.
    >
    > Poodle: I’ll just blow in the border collie’s ear and he’ll do it.
    > By the
    > time he rewires the house, my nails will be dry.
    >
    > German shepherd: Everyone stop where you are! Who busted the
    > light? I SAID
    > “STOP WHERE YOU ARE!!!”
    >
    > Cocker spaniel: Why change it? I’ll pee on the carpet in the dark.
    >
    > Australian cattle dog: First, I’ll herd the light bulbs into a
    > circle…
    >
    > Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp!
    >
    > English sheep dog: Light bulb? Sorry, I don’t see a light bulb.
    >
    > Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.
    >
    > Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb
    >
    > Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there…
    >
    > Greyhound: It isn’t moving. Who cares?
    >
    > Rottweiler: Make me.


    LOL I like this one too. And it's darn close to being the truth! ;)

    Thanks, SgtMinor.
    Boomer, Dec 7, 2003
    #9
  10. If someone doesn't change their time/time zone settings, does that
    mean that a subscriber will be ready to change the bulb when it blows?
    Alternatively, if we know when the bulb will blow, how much longer
    would it have lasted if the power was off at the time?

    "TRADESMAN" <> wrote in message
    news:bqtrlt$26tj0g$-berlin.de...
    >
    >
    > Mr. E wrote:
    > > Saw this on another newsgroup and thought I'd share:
    > >
    > > Question: How many subscribers to a newsgroup does it take to

    change
    > > a light bulb?
    > >
    > > Answer: 275
    > >
    > >

    >
    > Mmm.... so whose left to tell him to change the clock and/ or Time

    Zone
    > settings?
    >
    >
    Situation Toasted, Dec 7, 2003
    #10
  11. Boomer Spilled my beer when they jumped on the table and proclaimed
    in <3fd25cdc$0$31369$>:

    > Or maybe alt.troll?
    >
    > colorado-springs qwest.net


    <Long list snipped>

    Holy moly! I don't think I have ever had that many names over the 14
    years I have been online!

    NOI
    Thund3rstruck, Dec 7, 2003
    #11
  12. SgtMinor Spilled my beer when they jumped on the table and proclaimed
    in <>:
    <snip>
    > Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?


    Lol. My sister has two greyhounds. One is exactly like this... <G>

    The other was diagnosed with add-h (No lie), so she kinda fits this:

    > Jack Russell terrier: I'll pop it in while I bounce off the walls.


    <G>

    NOI
    Thund3rstruck, Dec 7, 2003
    #12
  13. Mr. E

    Boomer Guest

    Thund3rstruck <> wrote in
    news:3fd29c9b$0$62198$:

    > Boomer Spilled my beer when they jumped on the table and
    > proclaimed in
    > <3fd25cdc$0$31369$>:
    >
    >> Or maybe alt.troll?
    >>
    >> colorado-springs qwest.net

    >
    > <Long list snipped>
    >
    > Holy moly! I don't think I have ever had that many names over the
    > 14
    > years I have been online!
    >
    > NOI


    He/she has more. Those were just some of the most recent ones.
    Boomer, Dec 7, 2003
    #13
  14. Mr. E

    TRADESMAN Guest

    I thought about it, and I suppose, if you post from the past and pose the
    question "when will my light bulb blow?" you would get quite a few replies!
    Once you know the bulb is working I suppose the answer is to turn it off and
    never turn it on again unless it's an emergency.
    Of course you *could* always post in the present, but that would make the
    poor little clock watcher feel very redundant!





    Situation Toasted wrote:
    > If someone doesn't change their time/time zone settings, does that
    > mean that a subscriber will be ready to change the bulb when it blows?
    > Alternatively, if we know when the bulb will blow, how much longer
    > would it have lasted if the power was off at the time?
    >
    > "TRADESMAN" <> wrote in message
    > news:bqtrlt$26tj0g$-berlin.de...
    >>
    >>
    >> Mr. E wrote:
    >>> Saw this on another newsgroup and thought I'd share:
    >>>
    >>> Question: How many subscribers to a newsgroup does it take to change
    >>> a light bulb?
    >>>
    >>> Answer: 275
    >>>
    >>>

    >>
    >> Mmm.... so whose left to tell him to change the clock and/ or Time
    >> Zone settings?
    TRADESMAN, Dec 7, 2003
    #14
  15. Mr. E

    Tom Miller Guest

    Cute, infact it has a grain of truth in it! :)
    ">
    > Question: How many subscribers to a newsgroup does it take to change a

    light
    > bulb?
    >
    > Answer: 275
    >
    >


    --
    ---------------------------------------
    If I knew what I was doing, would I be posting here?
    Eileen Chat and 160,000 downloads at: www.chatnfiles.com
    Tom Miller, Dec 13, 2003
    #15
    1. Advertising

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