Blonde Joke of the Week

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by Toolman Tim, Oct 30, 2004.

  1. Toolman Tim

    Toolman Tim Guest

    An herpetologist (snake expert) brought several snakes to
    show a class at the local community college. A young,
    brunette went up to him after the class to ask more about
    the snakes. She wanted to know if he had ever been bitten
    by a poisonous snake.

    He said "Yep, several times. Most recently a rattler bit me
    right here", and he showed the scar on his arm where the
    snake had sunk it's fangs.

    She looked at the man in awe and asked, "And you lived!?"

    He looked at her, surprised, then grinned and said "You're
    really a blonde, aren't you?"

    --
    "If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where THEY
    went."
    ~Will Rogers~
     
    Toolman Tim, Oct 30, 2004
    #1
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  2. Toolman Tim

    docmill Guest

    "Toolman Tim" <> wrote in
    news::

    > An herpetologist (snake expert) brought several snakes to
    > show a class at the local community college. A young,
    > brunette went up to him after the class to ask more about
    > the snakes. She wanted to know if he had ever been bitten
    > by a poisonous snake.
    >
    > He said "Yep, several times. Most recently a rattler bit me
    > right here", and he showed the scar on his arm where the
    > snake had sunk it's fangs.
    >
    > She looked at the man in awe and asked, "And you lived!?"
    >
    > He looked at her, surprised, then grinned and said "You're
    > really a blonde, aren't you?"
    >


    A few weeks after my surgery, I went out to play catch with my golden
    retriever. When I bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out.
    The dog snatched it, and I found myself chasing him down the road yelling
    "Hey, come back here with my breast!"
    --Linda Ellerbee

    --
    +++++++++++ SEND ME A LINK +++++++++++
    docmill's Home Of HotLinks In The Frying SPAM
     
    docmill, Oct 30, 2004
    #2
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  3. BEAR IN A BAR

    A BEAR WALKS INTO A BAR IN BILLINGS, MONTANA

    AND SITS DOWN. HE BANGS ON THE BAR

    WITH HIS PAW AND DEMANDS A BEER.

    THE BARTENDER APPROACHES AND SAYS,

    "WE DON'T SERVE BEER TO BEARS IN BARS IN BILLINGS."

    THE BEAR, BECOMING ANGRY, DEMANDS AGAIN

    THAT HE BE SERVED A BEER.

    THE BARTENDER TELLS HIM AGAIN, MORE FORCEFULLY,

    "WE DON'T SERVE BEER TO BELLIGERENT

    BEARS IN BARS IN BILLINGS."

    THE BEAR, VERY ANGRY NOW, SAYS,

    "IF YOU DON'T SERVE ME A BEER,

    I'M GOING TO EAT THAT LADY SITTING AT

    THE END OF THE BAR"

    THE BARTENDER SAYS,

    "SORRY, WE DON'T SERVE BEER TO BELLIGERENT,

    BULLY BEARS IN BARS IN BILLINGS."

    THE BEAR GOES TO THE END OF THE BAR, AND,

    AS PROMISED, EATS THE WOMAN.

    HE COMES BACK TO HIS SEAT AND AGAIN DEMANDS A BEER.

    THE BARTENDER STATES,

    "SORRY, WE DON'T SERVE BEE! R TO BELLIGERENT, BULLY

    BEARS IN BAR IN BILLINGS WHO ARE ON DRUGS"

    THE BEAR SAYS, "I'M NOT ON DRUGS."

    YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS..........

    /

    /

    /

    /

    THE BARTENDER SAYS,

    "YOU ARE NOW.

    THAT WAS A

    BARBITCHYOUATE."

    "Toolman Tim" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > An herpetologist (snake expert) brought several snakes to
    > show a class at the local community college. A young,
    > brunette went up to him after the class to ask more about
    > the snakes. She wanted to know if he had ever been bitten
    > by a poisonous snake.
    >
    > He said "Yep, several times. Most recently a rattler bit me
    > right here", and he showed the scar on his arm where the
    > snake had sunk it's fangs.
    >
    > She looked at the man in awe and asked, "And you lived!?"
    >
    > He looked at her, surprised, then grinned and said "You're
    > really a blonde, aren't you?"
    >
    > --
    > "If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where THEY
    > went."
    > ~Will Rogers~
    >
    >
     
    Immas Martass, Oct 30, 2004
    #3
  4. Toolman Tim

    docmill Guest

    "Toolman Tim" <> wrote in
    news::

    > "If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where
    > THEY went."
    > ~Will Rogers~
    >
    >


    Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog
    would go in.
    --Mark Twain

    --
    +++++++++++ SEND ME A LINK +++++++++++
    docmill's Home Of HotLinks In The Frying SPAM
     
    docmill, Oct 30, 2004
    #4
  5. Toolman Tim

    DC Guest

    DC, Oct 30, 2004
    #5
  6. Immas Martass, Oct 30, 2004
    #6
  7. Toolman Tim

    Davy Pittman Guest

    Immas Martass wrote:
    > BEAR IN A BAR
    >
    > A BEAR


    I'll stop there. Fucking caps-posting moron.
     
    Davy Pittman, Oct 30, 2004
    #7
  8. Toolman Tim

    Balli Guest

    "Immas Martass" <> wrote in
    news::

    > It was a copy and paste, dumbass


    Dumb ass!
     
    Balli, Oct 30, 2004
    #8
  9. very good, now try 1+1=

    "Balli" <> wrote in message
    news:0lDgd.12370$...
    > "Immas Martass" <> wrote in
    > news::
    >
    > > It was a copy and paste, dumbass

    >
    > Dumb ass!
     
    Immas Martass, Oct 30, 2004
    #9
  10. Toolman Tim

    DC Guest

    DC, Oct 30, 2004
    #10
  11. Toolman Tim

    Toolman Tim Guest

    >| "Toolman Tim" <> wrote in
    >| news::
    >|
    >| > "If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die, I want to go
    >| > where THEY went."
    >| > ~Will Rogers~
    >| >
    >| >
    >|
    >| Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and
    >| your dog would go in.
    >| --Mark Twain
    >|


    True...wait...maybe...you haven't met my dog <g>

    --
    "Lord, please make me the kind of person my dog thinks I am."
     
    Toolman Tim, Oct 30, 2004
    #11
  12. Toolman Tim

    WormWood Guest

    "Davy Pittman" <-crinkled-hydatid.org> wrote
    in message
    news:-insincere-flatulence.org...
    | Immas Martass wrote:
    | > BEAR IN A BAR
    | >
    | > A BEAR
    |
    | I'll stop there. Fucking caps-posting moron.

    I couldn't BEAR any more of the fucktard's caps shite, either.
     
    WormWood, Oct 30, 2004
    #12
  13. Toolman Tim

    tcg Guest

    tcg, Oct 30, 2004
    #13
  14. Toolman Tim

    DC Guest

    tcg wrote:

    > "DC" <> wrote in message
    > news:...
    >| Immas Martass wrote:
    >| > BEAR IN A BAR
    >|
    >| [...]
    >|
    >| Too bad no one will bother even trying to read this crap.
    >|
    >| http://vancouver-webpages.com/nnq/ncaps.html
    >| http://www.kassj.com/netiquette/netiquette.html#1
    >|
    >| --
    >| DC Linux RU #1000111011000111001
    >|
    >| Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.


    > Bet you won't pull the tags off mattress's either.



    Who is 'mattress'?

    --
    DC Linux RU #1000111011000111001

    Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
     
    DC, Oct 30, 2004
    #14
  15. Toolman Tim

    Balli Guest

    DC <> wrote in
    news::

    > tcg wrote:
    >
    >> "DC" <> wrote in message
    >> news:...
    >>| Immas Martass wrote:
    >>| > BEAR IN A BAR
    >>|
    >>| [...]
    >>|
    >>| Too bad no one will bother even trying to read this crap.
    >>|
    >>| http://vancouver-webpages.com/nnq/ncaps.html
    >>| http://www.kassj.com/netiquette/netiquette.html#1
    >>|
    >>| --
    >>| DC Linux RU #1000111011000111001
    >>|
    >>| Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

    >
    >> Bet you won't pull the tags off mattress's either.

    >
    >
    > Who is 'mattress'?


    Matt's trusses?
     
    Balli, Oct 30, 2004
    #15
  16. Toolman Tim

    WormWood Guest

    "tcg" <> wrote in message
    news:wrEgd.12496$...
    |
    | "DC" <> wrote in message
    | news:...
    || Immas Martass wrote:
    || > BEAR IN A BAR
    ||
    || [...]
    ||
    || Too bad no one will bother even trying to read this crap.
    ||
    || http://vancouver-webpages.com/nnq/ncaps.html
    || http://www.kassj.com/netiquette/netiquette.html#1
    ||
    || --
    || DC Linux RU #1000111011000111001
    ||
    || Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
    |
    | Bet you won't pull the tags off mattress's either.
    |
    mattresses
     
    WormWood, Oct 30, 2004
    #16
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