absolutely perfect i tell you

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by philo, Feb 25, 2007.

  1. philo

    philo Guest

    a few months ago, we got a new counter in the kitchen.
    it was quite a bit higher than the table that it replaced...and we only had
    one stool in the house of the proper height.

    i told the girl friend i'd pick up another on the way home from work...
    so she measured it and told me ...24 inches.

    when i got to the store *all* the stools there were 24 inches tall except
    one...
    which was 29 inches tall.

    the 24 inchers looked so short...that i figured she must have measured
    wrong...
    so of course i purchased the 29 incher.

    it was too tall of course
    (the whole world already figured that out)

    but the good news was...she was not home when i came in with it...
    so i *carefully* measured it and took it down into my workshop
    and with a fine bladed saw cut it down to 24 inches.

    now anyone who's even read one of my posts here knows that i'm a complete
    and 100% idiot who is totally incapable of doing anything correctly...
    so you knew before i told you that no two legs were exactly the same length
    (though i came pretty close)

    as the subject says though , "absolutely perfect" !

    our house is nearly 110 years old and the floor is not straight...
    so when the stool was placed on it...it was perfect.
    it was quite even and did not wobble in the least.

    i did such a great job...that as soon as she got home i told her
    all about it!

    as i said, that was a few months ago...
    and she seems to have finally stopped laughing :)
     
    philo, Feb 25, 2007
    #1
    1. Advertising

  2. philo

    WhzzKdd Guest

    philo wrote:
    >
    > as i said, that was a few months ago...
    > and she seems to have finally stopped laughing :)
    >

    Yes, but we just got started <grin>!
     
    WhzzKdd, Feb 25, 2007
    #2
    1. Advertising

  3. philo

    Old Gringo Guest

    On Or About Sun, 25 Feb 2007 13:53:48 -0600, Without Any Hesitation
    Or Thinking Twice, philo Stumbled Over To The Keyboard And wrote The
    Following:

    > a few months ago, we got a new counter in the kitchen.
    > it was quite a bit higher than the table that it replaced...and we only had
    > one stool in the house of the proper height.


    > as i said, that was a few months ago...
    > and she seems to have finally stopped laughing :)


    Thanks for the Sunday Funnies. Happens to the best of those who can
    do everything. <g>
    --
    Just West Of Nowhere
    Enjoy Life And Live It To Its Fullest
    http://.www.NuBoy-Industries.Com
    2/25/2007 2:42:39 PM CST
     
    Old Gringo, Feb 25, 2007
    #3
  4. On 2007-02-25, in 24hoursupport.helpdesk, philo waxed eloquently:
    snip
    >
    > as i said, that was a few months ago...
    > and she seems to have finally stopped laughing :)
    >
    >

    :) I've cut it off three times, and it's still too short.

    --
    The Old Sourdough
    theoldsourdough at theoldsourdough dot com
    If at first you don't succeed, the Hell with it
     
    The Old Sourdough, Feb 25, 2007
    #4
  5. philo

    Vanguard Guest

    "philo" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    >a few months ago, we got a new counter in the kitchen.
    > it was quite a bit higher than the table that it replaced...and we
    > only had one stool in the house of the proper height.
    >
    > i told the girl friend i'd pick up another on the way home from
    > work...
    > so she measured it and told me ...24 inches.
    >
    > when i got to the store *all* the stools there were 24 inches tall
    > except one...
    > which was 29 inches tall.
    >
    > the 24 inchers looked so short...that i figured she must have measured
    > wrong...
    > so of course i purchased the 29 incher.
    >
    > it was too tall of course
    > (the whole world already figured that out)
    >
    > but the good news was...she was not home when i came in with it...
    > so i *carefully* measured it and took it down into my workshop
    > and with a fine bladed saw cut it down to 24 inches.
    >
    > now anyone who's even read one of my posts here knows that i'm a
    > complete
    > and 100% idiot who is totally incapable of doing anything correctly...
    > so you knew before i told you that no two legs were exactly the same
    > length
    > (though i came pretty close)
    >
    > as the subject says though , "absolutely perfect" !
    >
    > our house is nearly 110 years old and the floor is not straight...
    > so when the stool was placed on it...it was perfect.
    > it was quite even and did not wobble in the least.
    >
    > i did such a great job...that as soon as she got home i told her
    > all about it!
    >
    > as i said, that was a few months ago...
    > and she seems to have finally stopped laughing :)



    How many want to venture a guess that philo decided to cut the legs at a
    perpendicular to the rod rather than bevel the cuts (so they would be
    flat on the floor)? The result is that only the inside edge of the legs
    touch the floor (with the incumbent high pressure point). You do know
    why tripods have tapered legs, right? Of course, since philo says the
    floor is uneven and because the stool's legs don't telescope
    independently, then the stool is stable in only one place on the uneven
    old floor - unless it is a 3-leg stool instead of a 4-leg stool. With
    the wrong cut angle on the leg ends and only 3 legs instead of 4, I'm
    waiting for philo's longevity report when he starts asking why the legs
    starting splitting at the bottom or they got loose in their joints or,
    even more spectacular, is when it completely fails and he reports his
    girlfriend is comatose in the hospital when she smashed her head against
    the counter edge when the stool broke.

    I also have to wonder in which world philo lives. Guess he hasn't a
    clue that desks, tables, and other tabletops are typically around 30
    inches high. So a 29-inch stool at a 30-inch countertop wouldn't have
    him think about just how long are his arms when he then mounts atop that
    tall stool? Maybe he was thinking of his girlfriend's cat who would sit
    on the tall stool while eating out of the can on the countertop.

    I can see it now. A segue on the Red Green show to the philo segment.
    I'm waiting for the episode where philo notes that toothpaste can be
    used to plug holes in sheetrock, and later while having tea some
    toothpaste drops into their cups from the ceiling where he supposedly
    plugged the holes.
     
    Vanguard, Feb 25, 2007
    #5
  6. philo

    philo Guest

    "philo" <> wrote in message
    news:...
    > a few months ago, we got a new counter in the kitchen.
    > it was quite a bit higher than the table that it replaced...and we only

    had
    > one stool in the house of the proper height.
    >
    > i told the girl friend i'd pick up another on the way home from work...
    > so she measured it and told me ...24 inches.
    >
    > when i got to the store *all* the stools there were 24 inches tall except
    > one...
    > which was 29 inches tall.
    >
    > the 24 inchers looked so short...that i figured she must have measured
    > wrong...
    > so of course i purchased the 29 incher.
    >




    Thanks for all the comments folks...

    BTW: there's a happy ending.

    A few weeks later I picked up a great set of chairs at a 2nd hand shop
    that fit at the counter perfectly. The price was too low to pass up...
    and they are way better than the stools.

    The stools are now in my basement workshop and will be used for unwanted
    guests down there :)
     
    philo, Feb 25, 2007
    #6
  7. philo

    Old Gringo Guest

    On Or About Sun, 25 Feb 2007 16:55:18 -0600, Without Any Hesitation
    Or Thinking Twice, philo Stumbled Over To The Keyboard And wrote The
    Following:

    > "philo" <> wrote in message
    > news:...
    >> a few months ago, we got a new counter in the kitchen.
    >> it was quite a bit higher than the table that it replaced...and we only

    > had
    >> one stool in the house of the proper height.
    >>
    >> i told the girl friend i'd pick up another on the way home from work...
    >> so she measured it and told me ...24 inches.
    >>
    >> when i got to the store *all* the stools there were 24 inches tall except
    >> one...
    >> which was 29 inches tall.
    >>
    >> the 24 inchers looked so short...that i figured she must have measured
    >> wrong...
    >> so of course i purchased the 29 incher.
    >>

    >
    > Thanks for all the comments folks...
    >
    > BTW: there's a happy ending.
    >
    > A few weeks later I picked up a great set of chairs at a 2nd hand shop
    > that fit at the counter perfectly. The price was too low to pass up...
    > and they are way better than the stools.
    >
    > The stools are now in my basement workshop and will be used for unwanted
    > guests down there :)


    I thought you were going to say the stools were to short for the
    counter in the basement so you glued the cut off portions of the legs
    back on. :)
    --
    Just West Of Nowhere
    Enjoy Life And Live It To Its Fullest
    http://.www.NuBoy-Industries.Com
    2/25/2007 7:49:46 PM CST
     
    Old Gringo, Feb 26, 2007
    #7
  8. philo

    philo Guest


    >
    > I thought you were going to say the stools were to short for the
    > counter in the basement so you glued the cut off portions of the legs
    > back on. :)



    Hey...
    maybe i'll make my workbench higher so i can glue the pieces back on the
    stool...
    don;t want to waste them you know :)



    --
    Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com
     
    philo, Feb 26, 2007
    #8
  9. philo

    Old Gringo Guest

    On Or About Mon, 26 Feb 2007 14:53:17 -0600, Without Any Hesitation
    Or Thinking Twice, philo Stumbled Over To The Keyboard And wrote The
    Following:

    >>
    >> I thought you were going to say the stools were to short for the
    >> counter in the basement so you glued the cut off portions of the legs
    >> back on. :)

    >
    > Hey...
    > maybe i'll make my workbench higher so i can glue the pieces back on the
    > stool...
    > don;t want to waste them you know :)


    LOL
    --
    Just West Of Nowhere
    Enjoy Life And Live It To Its Fullest
    http://.www.NuBoy-Industries.Com
    2/26/2007 4:08:51 PM CST
     
    Old Gringo, Feb 26, 2007
    #9
  10. philo

    Guest

    On Sun, 25 Feb 2007 16:55:18 -0600, "philo" <> wrote:

    >
    >"philo" <> wrote in message
    >news:...
    >> a few months ago, we got a new counter in the kitchen.
    >> it was quite a bit higher than the table that it replaced...and we only

    >had
    >> one stool in the house of the proper height.
    >>
    >> i told the girl friend i'd pick up another on the way home from work...
    >> so she measured it and told me ...24 inches.
    >>
    >> when i got to the store *all* the stools there were 24 inches tall except
    >> one...
    >> which was 29 inches tall.
    >>
    >> the 24 inchers looked so short...that i figured she must have measured
    >> wrong...
    >> so of course i purchased the 29 incher.
    >>

    >
    >
    >
    >Thanks for all the comments folks...
    >
    >BTW: there's a happy ending.
    >
    >A few weeks later I picked up a great set of chairs at a 2nd hand shop
    >that fit at the counter perfectly. The price was too low to pass up...
    >and they are way better than the stools.
    >
    >The stools are now in my basement workshop and will be used for unwanted
    >guests down there :)
    >


    You keep unwanted guests if the basement? :)
     
    , Feb 27, 2007
    #10
  11. philo

    philo Guest

    <snip>
    > >

    >
    > You keep unwanted guests if the basement? :)



    Yep :)



    --
    Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com
     
    philo, Feb 27, 2007
    #11
    1. Advertising

Want to reply to this thread or ask your own question?

It takes just 2 minutes to sign up (and it's free!). Just click the sign up button to choose a username and then you can ask your own questions on the forum.
Similar Threads
  1. Blot
    Replies:
    8
    Views:
    6,761
    billyw
    Jul 2, 2004
  2. Pat
    Replies:
    5
    Views:
    459
    ellis_jay
    Nov 14, 2005
  3. Replies:
    7
    Views:
    818
    Flunkett Clogwheel
    Feb 5, 2006
  4. Jamie Kahn Genet
    Replies:
    5
    Views:
    4,068
  5. Andy
    Replies:
    1
    Views:
    402
Loading...

Share This Page