A tale for a cold winter's night

Discussion in 'Computer Support' started by IC, Dec 10, 2003.

  1. IC

    IC Guest

    Green garden grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not just
    rattlesnakes. Here's a tale for a cold winter's night.

    A couple in Sweetwater, Texas, had a lot of potted plants, and during a
    recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to
    protect them from a possible freeze.

    It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one
    of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife
    saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream.

    The husband, who was taking a shower, ran out into the living room naked
    to see what the problem was.

    She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor
    on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog
    came and cold nosed him on the rear. He thought the snake had bitten him
    and he fainted.

    His wife thought he had a heart attack; so she called an ambulance. The
    attendants rushed in and loaded him on the stretcher and started
    carrying him out. About that time the snake came out from under the sofa
    and one of the Emergency Medical Technicians saw it and dropped his end
    of the stretcher.

    That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.

    The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house; so she called
    on a neighbor man, who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed
    himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.
    Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa
    in relief.

    But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushion where she felt
    the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed
    back under the sofa, and the neighbor man, seeing her laying there
    passed out tried to use CPR to revive her.

    The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery
    store, came looking for her husband and saw his mouth on the woman's
    mouth and slammed her husband on the back of the head with a bag of
    canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it
    needed stitches.

    An ambulance was again called when it was determined that the injury
    required hospitalization.

    The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor
    lying on the floor with his wife bending over him; so she assumed he had
    been bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a small
    bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.

    By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the
    whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about
    to arrest them all, when the two women tried to explain how it all
    happened over a little green snake.

    The ambulance arrived and took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

    Just then the little snake crawled out from under the couch. One of the
    policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the
    leg of the end table that was on one side of the sofa. The table fell
    over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke, it started a
    fire in the drapes.

    Another policeman tried to beat out the flames and fell through the
    window into the yard on top of the family dog. The startled dog jumped
    up and raced out into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to
    avoid it and smashed into the parked police car and set it on fire.

    Meanwhile, the burning drapes had spread to the walls and the entire
    house was blazing. Neighbors called the fire department and the arriving
    fire truck started raising his ladder when they were halfway down the
    street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and pulled out the
    electricity and disconnected telephones in a ten-square city block area.

    Time passed....

    Both men were discharged from the hospital. The house was rebuilt. The
    police acquired a new car, and all was right with the world.

    About a year later the original couple were watching TV and the
    weatherman announced a cold snap for that night.

    The husband asked his wife if she thought they should bring in their
    plants for the night.

    She shot him.
     
    IC, Dec 10, 2003
    #1
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  2. IC

    Patrick Guest

    IC wrote:
    > Green garden grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not
    > just rattlesnakes. Here's a tale for a cold winter's night.
    >


    [Most of jolly story snipped]

    > She shot him.


    But what happened to 'Snakee' ?

    --
    I suggest, that you just ignore me ! :)
     
    Patrick, Dec 10, 2003
    #2
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  3. IC

    Daddy xmas Guest

    brillianto....keep it up..happy xmas
     
    Daddy xmas, Dec 10, 2003
    #3
  4. IC

    ziggy Guest

    "Daddy xmas" <> wrote in news:7eJBb.319
    $:

    > brillianto....keep it up..happy xmas
    >
    >
    >


    Thank you! Best laugh I've had in ages!

    ziggy
     
    ziggy, Dec 10, 2003
    #4
  5. IC

    Classic 42 Guest

    "ziggy" <> wrote in message
    news:br7nsf$9p1m$-berlin.de...
    > "Daddy xmas" <> wrote in news:7eJBb.319
    > $:
    >
    > > brillianto....keep it up..happy xmas
    > >
    > >
    > >

    >
    > Thank you! Best laugh I've had in ages!


    Classic!!!!!

    Thanks.
    Classic 42
    >
    > ziggy
     
    Classic 42, Dec 10, 2003
    #5
  6. IC Spilled my beer when they jumped on the table and proclaimed in
    <1GIBb.1798$>:

    >
    > Green garden grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not
    > just rattlesnakes. Here's a tale for a cold winter's night.


    <Swipe!> (Thanks)

    NOI
     
    Thund3rstruck, Dec 11, 2003
    #6
  7. IC wrote:

    >
    > Green garden grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not just
    > rattlesnakes. Here's a tale for a cold winter's night.


    [schnippen]

    http://www.snopes.com/critters/farce/hindlick.htm
    --
    Gary G. Taylor * Rialto, CA
    gary at donavan dot org / http:// geetee dot donavan dot org
    "The two most abundant things in the universe
    are hydrogen and stupidity." --Harlan Ellison
     
    Gary G. Taylor, Dec 11, 2003
    #7
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