10 Good Leftist Jokes

Discussion in 'DVD Video' started by Bullock, Oct 20, 2003.

  1. Bullock

    Bullock Guest

    Q: What does a leftist and a beer bottle have in common?
    A: They're both empty from the neck up.



    Q: What does a leftist owl say?
    A: What, what?



    Q: Why do leftists tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
    A: So they won't wake up the sleeping pills.



    Q: Why do leftists wear condoms on their ears?
    A: They're afraid of getting Hearing Aides.



    Q: Why did the leftist steal a police car?
    A: They saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.



    Q: Why did the leftist get so excited after finishing his first jigsaw
    puzzle in only 6 months?
    A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.



    Q: Did you hear about the leftist coyote?
    A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.



    Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
    A: A leftist going through a flashing red light.



    Q: How many leftists does it take to play tag?
    A: One.



    Q: What has an asshole at each end, is five miles long and has an IQ of
    forty?
    A: A leftist protest parade.
     
    Bullock, Oct 20, 2003
    #1
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  2. Bullock

    anto Guest

    "Bullock" <> wrote in message news:<%0Ykb.100751$>...
    > Q: What does a leftist and a beer bottle have in common?
    > A: They're both empty from the neck up.
    >
    >
    >
    > Q: What does a leftist owl say?
    > A: What, what?
    >
    >
    >
    > Q: Why do leftists tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
    > A: So they won't wake up the sleeping pills.
    >
    >
    >
    > Q: Why do leftists wear condoms on their ears?
    > A: They're afraid of getting Hearing Aides.
    >
    >
    >
    > Q: Why did the leftist steal a police car?
    > A: They saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
    >
    >
    >
    > Q: Why did the leftist get so excited after finishing his first jigsaw
    > puzzle in only 6 months?
    > A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
    >
    >
    >
    > Q: Did you hear about the leftist coyote?
    > A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
    >
    >
    >
    > Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
    > A: A leftist going through a flashing red light.
    >
    >
    >
    > Q: How many leftists does it take to play tag?
    > A: One.
    >
    >
    >
    > Q: What has an asshole at each end, is five miles long and has an IQ of
    > forty?
    > A: A leftist protest parade.


    Geez, how original! Take a bunch of old jokes and claim them as new by
    putting "leftist" (in place of "pollack", "blonde chick" etc.) as the
    butt of the joke!!! You must be on the same drugs as your buddy Rush
    Limbaugh.

    Now this NG is called alt.video.dvd but I guess you just lost your way
    and confused it with your usual group, alt.bigoted.rednecks.
     
    anto, Oct 22, 2003
    #2
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  3. Bullock

    Dori Guest

    (anto) wrote in message news:<>...
    > "Bullock" <> wrote in message news:<%0Ykb.100751$>...
    > > Q: What does a leftist and a beer bottle have in common?
    > > A: They're both empty from the neck up.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > Q: What does a leftist owl say?
    > > A: What, what?
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > Q: Why do leftists tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
    > > A: So they won't wake up the sleeping pills.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > Q: Why do leftists wear condoms on their ears?
    > > A: They're afraid of getting Hearing Aides.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > Q: Why did the leftist steal a police car?
    > > A: They saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > Q: Why did the leftist get so excited after finishing his first jigsaw
    > > puzzle in only 6 months?
    > > A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > Q: Did you hear about the leftist coyote?
    > > A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
    > > A: A leftist going through a flashing red light.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > Q: How many leftists does it take to play tag?
    > > A: One.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > Q: What has an asshole at each end, is five miles long and has an IQ of
    > > forty?
    > > A: A leftist protest parade.

    >
    > Geez, how original! Take a bunch of old jokes and claim them as new by
    > putting "leftist" (in place of "pollack", "blonde chick" etc.) as the
    > butt of the joke!!! You must be on the same drugs as your buddy Rush
    > Limbaugh.
    >
    > Now this NG is called alt.video.dvd but I guess you just lost your way
    > and confused it with your usual group, alt.bigoted.rednecks.


    Lol! Now who's bigoted? Pot, kettle, black!
     
    Dori, Oct 22, 2003
    #3
  4. Bullock

    Stan Guest

    In article <%0Ykb.100751$>,
    "Bullock" <> wrote:

    > Q: What does a leftist and a beer bottle have in common?
    > A: They're both empty from the neck up.


    My god man, are you implying that the president of the United States is a
    leftist?

    --Stan

    "The statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation
    that is attacked, and every man will be glad of those conscience-soothing
    falsities, and will diligently study them, and refuse to examine any
    refutations of them; and thus he will by and by convince himself that the
    war is just, and will thank God for the better sleep he enjoys after this
    process of grotesque self-deception."
    --Mark Twain

    ³Killing Iraqis was hard at first, but after a while it got easier.²
    --Timothy McVeigh, veteran of Gulf War I
     
    Stan, Oct 22, 2003
    #4
  5. On Wed, 22 Oct 2003 10:21:03 -0400, (Stan) wrote:

    >In article <%0Ykb.100751$>,
    >"Bullock" <> wrote:
    >
    >> Q: What does a leftist and a beer bottle have in common?
    >> A: They're both empty from the neck up.

    >
    >My god man, are you implying that the president of the United States is a
    >leftist?
    >
    >--Stan
    >
    >"The statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation
    >that is attacked, and every man will be glad of those conscience-soothing
    >falsities, and will diligently study them, and refuse to examine any
    >refutations of them; and thus he will by and by convince himself that the
    >war is just, and will thank God for the better sleep he enjoys after this
    >process of grotesque self-deception."
    >--Mark Twain
    >
    >³Killing Iraqis was hard at first, but after a while it got easier.²
    >--Timothy McVeigh, veteran of Gulf War I


    Here is one for you:

    Naturally the common people do not want war, but after all it is the
    leaders of a country who decides policy, and its always a simple
    matter to drag people along whether it's a democracy, or a fascist
    dictatorship, or a parliament or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no
    voice , the people can always be brought to the bidding of the
    leaders. This is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being
    attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and
    exposing the country to danger. It works the same in every country.

    Hermann Goering - At the Nuremberg Trials

    (And I was for supporting militarily the Northern alliance in
    Afghanistan as the lesser of two evils years before 9/11. so anybody
    can shove pacifists remarks up their arse. But of course neither
    Clinton nor Bush saw any polical gains at the time so they did
    nothing.)
     
    H E Pennypacker, Oct 22, 2003
    #5
  6. Bullock

    jayembee Guest

    "Bullock" <> wrote:

    [snip]

    So what happened to the "good" ones?

    -- jayembee
     
    jayembee, Oct 23, 2003
    #6
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