So it seems I solved this with a lot of help from google! Here's the scoop.
Synopsis: How to print from a program that has hard coded LPT1 destination
Works on: This technique has been tested with Microsoft Windows XP & Microsoft Windows Vista
Technique: To print from a program that points to LPT1 when there is no LPT1 available on your system, do the following:
Set up standard printer
1) Install printer (for example, USB printer)
Pool the printer with LPT1:
2) Open Printer properties (in Vista, open as Administrator)
3) Turn on "printer pooling" (under Ports tab)
4) In addition to whatever is already selected (for example, USB), also select "LPT1:"
5) Click apply
You are done!
Depending on the destination printer (specifically, the driver), it might be necessary to ADD FF
1) Open Printer Properties (remember to use Administrator in Vista!)
2) Click Advanced tab
3) Click Print Processor...
4) Select "RAW [FF appended]"
5) Click OK from "Print Processor" window
6) Click OK on "Properties" window
You are done!
Why this works: This technique works by a trick of the light, or at least a trick of the READY wire. Specifically, Windows is trying to print to either the LPT1 printer or the USB printer, whichever is available. It just so happens that the LPT1 printer is not able to accept print requests. Therefore Windows pools only to the USB printer.
Special thanks to Bruce Sanderson for writing up the hint on
http://members.shaw.ca/bsanders/printfromdos.htm
--Mark
http://www.marksatterfield.com