Mouse Balls and Mouse Ball inspectors

I don't know how they wrote this with a straight face. This was a real

memo sent out by IBM to its employees in all seriousness.



It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The

author of this memo was quite genuine. The engineers rolled on the

floor!

Especially note the last couple of sentences.







"If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may

need a ball replacement. Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field

Replacement Units). Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, a

replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained

personnel.



Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the

underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than

foreign balls.



Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the

mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method. Domestic

balls are replaced by using the twist off method.



Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive

handling can result in sudden discharge.



Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.

It is recommended that each person have a pair of spare balls for

maintaining optimum customer satisfaction.



Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in

charge of removing and replacing these necessary items.



Please keep in mind that a customer without properly working balls is an

unhappy customer."

David

Not sure why it's so funny. If anything it's a waste. I never replaced my
balls, I just cleaned them thoroughly.



/uses optical mice now anyways...

Jtyc

On Fri, 2 May 2008 09:20:03 -0700, "Jtyc" <>
wrote:

>Not sure why it's so funny. If anything it's a waste. I never replaced my
>balls, I just cleaned them thoroughly.

How do you clean them?
By blowing or rubbing?

PAJ

> How do you clean them?
> By blowing or rubbing?

Both. It's kinda gross but if you really want to get it clean, pop em in
your mouth and suck on em for bit. That gets all the gunk off.

Jtyc

"Jtyc" <> wrote in
news::

>> How do you clean them?
>> By blowing or rubbing?
>
> Both. It's kinda gross but if you really want to get it clean, pop
> em in your mouth and suck on em for bit. That gets all the gunk off.
>

I thought the standard procedure was to roll the ball
around in your mouth then dry it with your shirt tail.

At least that's how my computer guy does it.

kpg

On Fri, 2 May 2008 12:33:44 -0700, "Jtyc" <>
wrote:

>> How do you clean them?
>> By blowing or rubbing?
>
>Both. It's kinda gross but if you really want to get it clean, pop em in
>your mouth and suck on em for bit. That gets all the gunk off.

Too gross for me. I don't mind getting my balls out but there is no way
I am going to suck them clean myself.
I saw a training video on this once. The guy got his own balls out but
some girl did the actual cleaning. Dirty cow spat the gunk out all over
him though.

PAJ

PAJ <MBLOSSOMpaj-> wrote in
news::

> On Fri, 2 May 2008 12:33:44 -0700, "Jtyc" <>
> wrote:
>
>>> How do you clean them?
>>> By blowing or rubbing?
>>
>>Both. It's kinda gross but if you really want to get it clean, pop
>>em in your mouth and suck on em for bit. That gets all the gunk off.
>
> Too gross for me. I don't mind getting my balls out but there is no
> way I am going to suck them clean myself.
> I saw a training video on this once. The guy got his own balls out but
> some girl did the actual cleaning. Dirty cow spat the gunk out all
> over him though.

Please provide a link to this training video.

THX.

kpg

"kpg" <> wrote in message
news:Xns9A929F669CDFipostthereforeiam@207.46.248.1 6...
> PAJ <MBLOSSOMpaj-> wrote in
> news::
>
>> On Fri, 2 May 2008 12:33:44 -0700, "Jtyc" <>
>> wrote:
>>
>>>> How do you clean them?
>>>> By blowing or rubbing?
>>>
>>>Both. It's kinda gross but if you really want to get it clean, pop
>>>em in your mouth and suck on em for bit. That gets all the gunk off.
>>
>> Too gross for me. I don't mind getting my balls out but there is no
>> way I am going to suck them clean myself.
>> I saw a training video on this once. The guy got his own balls out but
>> some girl did the actual cleaning. Dirty cow spat the gunk out all
>> over him though.
>
> Please provide a link to this training video.
>
> THX.

IS THIS GONNA BE ON THE EXAM OKAY THANKS BYE!

Bill Hileman

> IS THIS GONNA BE ON THE EXAM OKAY THANKS BYE!

Yes. It's part of the oral test.


That reminds me... what do you call to gay bobs?

kpg

On Fri, 02 May 2008 13:40:06 -0700, kpg <> wrote:

>PAJ <MBLOSSOMpaj-> wrote in
>news: :
>>
>> I saw a training video on this once. The guy got his own balls out but
>> some girl did the actual cleaning. Dirty cow spat the gunk out all
>> over him though.
>
>Please provide a link to this training video.

Sorry, my membership to the 'training' site expired some time ago.

PAJ