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Linux Limousine Services

 
 
E. Scrooge
Guest
Posts: n/a
 
      12-08-2006
Vic:
I need to hire a limo to get to the airport, thanks.

LL Manager:
Sorry, no can do at the moment.

Vic:
Why can't I hire this limo right here?

LL Manager:
Only problem with that is there's no driver for it. Unless you'd be willing
to drive it yourself.

Vic:
You must be joking. Is there any reason why you couldn't drive me to the
airport in it?

LL Manager:
That would be fine if I had a licence to do so.

Vic:
****! What an outfit. Wouldn't surprise me if it's not registered and
certified.

LL Manager:
Funny you should say that, just try not to spread it around. It wouldn't be
good for business.

Vic:
Is there any special reason why those horses are harnessed to the front of
it?

LL Manager:
Glad you asked. Fact is we pride ourselves by doing our own servicing.
When the engine died we replaced it with some real horsepower. Good
reliable runners. Take my word for it.

Vic:
I've taken more than enough crap for one day. I'm off to grab that MS cab
that's just pulled up, and what's the bet that it's fully registered,
certified, and has a driver who actually has a licence?


E. Scrooge


 
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Shane
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Posts: n/a
 
      12-08-2006
If I might quote General Motors
"If General Motors had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all
be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a
new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would
have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut
off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.
For some reason, you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your
car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would run on only five
percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,
turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to
drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same
manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.



--
Bender: The modern world can bite my splintery wooden ass!

blog: http://shanes.dyndns.org

 
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Chris Wilkinson
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Posts: n/a
 
      12-08-2006
Hi there,

E. Scrooge wrote:
<snip about Linux Limo outfit>

Vic:
Hi, I'd like to hire a limo to get to the airport, thanks

MSL Manager:
Certainly, please take this official MSL starter pack, that
includes your 50-digit activation code, and COA, to ensure
that you, the end user, are using a genuine MSL product. Lets
get started, can you please read and accept the terms of this
lengthy EULA, thanks...

Vic:
Er, all I want to do is get to the airport...my flight leaves
quite soon...

MSL Manager:
Sorry sir, but the EULA outlines your legal entitlements
when using the MSL service...you are required to read the
entire EULA, and click Accept to acknowledge your legal
rights under its terms...

Vic:
Can I read it on the way?

MSL Manager:
No, I'm sorry. You need to read and accept the terms of the
EULA before the Limousine will start. Then you are required
to telephone MSL Support to activate the driver...

Vic: Eh, what? Sod it! <clicks Accept without reading EULA>

MSL Manager:
Now telephone MSL Support to activate the driver....

Vic:
Christ! Alright OK, I'm calling them now...<very lengthy wait
and talk on phone ensues>. Allright, I'm done...

MSL Manager:
Excellent. Lets get you in the limo, and get you to the airport...

Vic:
****! Look at the time, I'll never make the flight now!! I'm gonna
claim back every cent I lose from this, you bastards!

MSL Manager:
Sorry, but you should have read the EULA more closely, where you
would have seen that the EULA removes any responsibility on the part
of MSL, for losses and/or damages you may have incurred as a result
of using the MSL Service...

Vic:
**** this shite! I'm getting the free Linux Limo next time!

--
Kind regards,

Chris Wilkinson, Brisbane, Australia.
 
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E. Scrooge
Guest
Posts: n/a
 
      12-08-2006

"Shane" <(E-Mail Removed)-a-geek.net> wrote in message
news:elaki8$hc4$(E-Mail Removed)...
> If I might quote General Motors
> "If General Motors had developed technology like Microsoft, we would
> all
> be driving cars with the following characteristics:
>
> 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
>
> 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy
> a
> new car.
>
> 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would
> have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut
> off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.
> For some reason, you would simply accept this.
>
> 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your
> car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
> reinstall the engine.
>
> 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
> five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would run on only
> five
> percent of the roads.
>
> 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
> replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.
>
> 7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
>
> 8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
> refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,
> turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
>
> 9. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to
> drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the
> same
> manner as the old car.
>
> 10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.


Trouble is the Linux limo will only run on compressed natual gas.
It will need a special battery, tyres and brakes. You can't just use any
old parts and fuel like you can with MS vehicle. The MS vehile comes with a
firewall and security measures. The MS vehicle also comes with special
tools.
Also the radio is locked onto 1 station only - "God Help FM".

E. Scrooge


 
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E. Scrooge
Guest
Posts: n/a
 
      12-08-2006

"Chris Wilkinson" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in
message news:4578e0fe$(E-Mail Removed)...
> Hi there,
>
> E. Scrooge wrote:
> <snip about Linux Limo outfit>
>
> Vic:
> Hi, I'd like to hire a limo to get to the airport, thanks
>
> MSL Manager:
> Certainly, please take this official MSL starter pack, that
> includes your 50-digit activation code, and COA, to ensure
> that you, the end user, are using a genuine MSL product. Lets
> get started, can you please read and accept the terms of this
> lengthy EULA, thanks...
>
> Vic:
> Er, all I want to do is get to the airport...my flight leaves
> quite soon...
>
> MSL Manager:
> Sorry sir, but the EULA outlines your legal entitlements
> when using the MSL service...you are required to read the
> entire EULA, and click Accept to acknowledge your legal
> rights under its terms...
>
> Vic:
> Can I read it on the way?
>
> MSL Manager:
> No, I'm sorry. You need to read and accept the terms of the
> EULA before the Limousine will start. Then you are required
> to telephone MSL Support to activate the driver...
>
> Vic: Eh, what? Sod it! <clicks Accept without reading EULA>
>
> MSL Manager:
> Now telephone MSL Support to activate the driver....
>
> Vic:
> Christ! Alright OK, I'm calling them now...<very lengthy wait
> and talk on phone ensues>. Allright, I'm done...
>
> MSL Manager:
> Excellent. Lets get you in the limo, and get you to the airport...
>
> Vic:
> ****! Look at the time, I'll never make the flight now!! I'm gonna
> claim back every cent I lose from this, you bastards!
>
> MSL Manager:
> Sorry, but you should have read the EULA more closely, where you
> would have seen that the EULA removes any responsibility on the part
> of MSL, for losses and/or damages you may have incurred as a result
> of using the MSL Service...
>
> Vic:
> **** this shite! I'm getting the free Linux Limo next time!
>
> --
> Kind regards,
>
> Chris Wilkinson, Brisbane, Australia.


LOL That's not bad.
Except the free Linux Limo comes with **** all gas, no door locks, a dead
battery, and 4 flat tyres.

E. Scrooge


 
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Shane
Guest
Posts: n/a
 
      12-08-2006
*sling wrote:

>
> "Shane" <(E-Mail Removed)-a-geek.net> wrote in message
> news:elaki8$hc4$(E-Mail Removed)...
>> If I might quote General Motors
>> "If General Motors had developed technology like Microsoft, we would
>> all
>> be driving cars with the following characteristics:
>>
>> 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
>>
>> 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy
>> a
>> new car.
>>
>> 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You
>> would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the
>> windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you
>> could continue. For some reason, you would simply accept this.
>>
>> 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause
>> your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have
>> to reinstall the engine.
>>
>> 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
>> five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would run on only
>> five
>> percent of the roads.
>>
>> 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
>> replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.
>>
>> 7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
>>
>> 8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
>> and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,
>> turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
>>
>> 9. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to
>> drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the
>> same
>> manner as the old car.
>>
>> 10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

>
> Trouble is the Linux limo will only run on compressed natual gas.
> It will need a special battery, tyres and brakes. You can't just use any
> old parts and fuel like you can with MS vehicle. The MS vehile comes with
> a
> firewall and security measures. The MS vehicle also comes with special
> tools.
> Also the radio is locked onto 1 station only - "God Help FM".
>
> E. Scrooge


*Sigh* does nobody here post facts

--
Fry: He's an animal. He belongs in the wild. Or in the circus on one of
those tiny tricycles. Now that's entertainment.

blog: http://shanes.dyndns.org

 
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Blue
Guest
Posts: n/a
 
      12-08-2006
On Fri, 08 Dec 2006 17:08:09 +1300, E. Scrooge wrote:

> Trouble is the Linux limo will only run on compressed natual gas.


Nope it runs on anything, fuel and surface wise.

> It will need a special battery, tyres and brakes.


Nope, its happy with anything normal.

> You can't just use any
> old parts and fuel like you can with MS vehicle.


You can. Works well.

> The MS vehile comes with a
> firewall and security measures.


So does the Linux limo, but they work better.

> The MS vehicle also comes with special
> tools.


The Linux limo has plenty too. Most of them are back at base because they
have been found only to be needed during mtce, as there are no breakdowns.

> Also the radio is locked onto 1 station only - "God Help FM".


Still confused I see.
 
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jasen
Guest
Posts: n/a
 
      12-08-2006
On 2006-12-08, E. Scrooge <scrooge@*shot.co.nz> wrote:

> Vic:
> I've taken more than enough crap for one day. I'm off to grab that MS cab
> that's just pulled up, and what's the bet that it's fully registered,
> certified, and has a driver who actually has a licence?


good luck with the roadblocks.

Bye.
Jasen
 
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Chris Wilkinson
Guest
Posts: n/a
 
      12-08-2006
Hi there,

E. Scrooge wrote:
> "Chris Wilkinson" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in
> message news:4578e0fe$(E-Mail Removed)...
>
>>Hi there,
>>
>>E. Scrooge wrote:
>><snip about Linux Limo outfit>
>>
>>Vic:
>>Hi, I'd like to hire a limo to get to the airport, thanks
>>
>>MSL Manager:
>>Certainly, please take this official MSL starter pack, that
>>includes your 50-digit activation code, and COA, to ensure
>>that you, the end user, are using a genuine MSL product. Lets
>>get started, can you please read and accept the terms of this
>>lengthy EULA, thanks...
>>
>>Vic:
>>Er, all I want to do is get to the airport...my flight leaves
>>quite soon...
>>
>>MSL Manager:
>>Sorry sir, but the EULA outlines your legal entitlements
>>when using the MSL service...you are required to read the
>>entire EULA, and click Accept to acknowledge your legal
>>rights under its terms...
>>
>>Vic:
>>Can I read it on the way?
>>
>>MSL Manager:
>>No, I'm sorry. You need to read and accept the terms of the
>>EULA before the Limousine will start. Then you are required
>>to telephone MSL Support to activate the driver...
>>
>>Vic: Eh, what? Sod it! <clicks Accept without reading EULA>
>>
>>MSL Manager:
>>Now telephone MSL Support to activate the driver....
>>
>>Vic:
>>Christ! Alright OK, I'm calling them now...<very lengthy wait
>>and talk on phone ensues>. Allright, I'm done...
>>
>>MSL Manager:
>>Excellent. Lets get you in the limo, and get you to the airport...
>>
>>Vic:
>>****! Look at the time, I'll never make the flight now!! I'm gonna
>>claim back every cent I lose from this, you bastards!
>>
>>MSL Manager:
>>Sorry, but you should have read the EULA more closely, where you
>>would have seen that the EULA removes any responsibility on the part
>>of MSL, for losses and/or damages you may have incurred as a result
>>of using the MSL Service...
>>
>>Vic:
>>**** this shite! I'm getting the free Linux Limo next time!
>>
>>--
>>Kind regards,
>>
>>Chris Wilkinson, Brisbane, Australia.

>
>
> LOL That's not bad.
> Except the free Linux Limo comes with **** all gas, no door locks, a dead
> battery, and 4 flat tyres.


I never mentioned the cost of hiring the MS Limo; shall
we call it even stevens before this thread becomes even
more silly?

--
Kind regards,

Chris Wilkinson, Brisbane, Australia.
Anyone wishing to email me directly can remove the obvious
spamblocker, and replace it with t p g <dot> c o m <dot> a u


 
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Jekyll and Hyde
Guest
Posts: n/a
 
      12-08-2006

"Shane" <(E-Mail Removed)-a-geek.net> wrote in message
news:elaki8$hc4$(E-Mail Removed)..
> 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
> five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would run on only
> five
> percent of the roads.


Unfounded rubbish. I use Macs and PC's 50/50 for around 60 hours per week. I
buy them, repair them, configure them.
Hardware failures or problems are about even, and OS and app crashes are
about even.

Given that...

Macs are overpriced
Macs are under warrantied
Macs are SLOW not fast (the only Mac that ever "felt" fast to me is Core Duo
PowerMacs with 2Gb RAM)
Macs use propreitary harware and design and are therefore more expensive and
time consuming to repair
Mac OS is renewed yearly (ish), updates for older versions stop (new
versions cost $239 yearly)
Mac third party applications versions are always behind those of the pc, as
are the updates
Mac OS support for peripheral hardware is pathetic, giving decreased options
and higher prices

End rant.

J&H.

> Bender: The modern world can bite my splintery wooden ass!
>
> blog: http://shanes.dyndns.org
>



 
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