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Rex
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      11-15-2007
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/...st/7095134.stm


A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three
years on probation.

Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by
conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.

Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for
three years.

Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom
at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr.

Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the
door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the
accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if
to simulate sex."

Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who
called police.

Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I
thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a
new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'."

Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding
after he had too much to drink.

The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006 after moving
from his council house in Girvan.

He now lives in Ayr.


 
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Tommo ³
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      11-16-2007
Snip

> "They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the
> accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.
>
> "The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if
> to simulate sex."
>
> Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who
> called police.


Well, if the Raleigh's a rockin', don't bother knocin'

Isn't this always the case?


 
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noname
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      11-16-2007
On Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:06:25 -0000, "Tommo ³" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote:

>Snip
>
>> "They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the
>> accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.
>>
>> "The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if
>> to simulate sex."
>>
>> Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who
>> called police.

>
>Well, if the Raleigh's a rockin', don't bother knocin'
>
>Isn't this always the case?
>

Hey as long as the bike wasn't under age I have no problem with
whatever two consenting adults do in private.
 
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Tony McChrystal
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      11-16-2007
Tommo ³ wrote:

> Snip
>
> > "They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the
> > accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.
> >
> > "The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if
> > to simulate sex."
> >
> > Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who
> > called police.

>
> Well, if the Raleigh's a rockin', don't bother knocin'
>
> Isn't this always the case?


I think the problem was a lack of stabilising wheels. The staff of the
hostel rushed to the room when they heard a loud crash. If he'd only
attached a pair of stabilisers, there wouldn't have been an issue.

He should have read the FAQ for alt.sex.hostelbike****ers.
 
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Nervous Nick
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      11-16-2007
On Nov 15, 5:15 pm, "Rex" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote:
> http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/...st/7095134.stm
>
> A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three
> years on probation.
>
> Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by
> conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.


By any chance was he listening to a Queen song when he done the deed?



Bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride it where I like

--
YOP...
 
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mack
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      11-16-2007

"noname" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
news:(E-Mail Removed)...
> On Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:06:25 -0000, "Tommo ³" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote:
>
>>Snip
>>
>>> "They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the
>>> accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.
>>>
>>> "The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as
>>> if
>>> to simulate sex."
>>>
>>> Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who
>>> called police.

>>
>>Well, if the Raleigh's a rockin', don't bother knocin'
>>
>>Isn't this always the case?
>>

> Hey as long as the bike wasn't under age I have no problem with
> whatever two consenting adults do in private.


Untold in this news story is whether the bicycle was a men's or ladies'
model. Unless it was the latter, this guy was clearly bi(ke)sexual.


 
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Osbourne Ruddock
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      11-16-2007
"Tommo ³" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in news:(E-Mail Removed):

>> "The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth
>> as if to simulate sex."
>>


>
> Well, if the Raleigh's a rockin', don't bother knocin'
>
> Isn't this always the case?
>


Meh, Nunn's been shoving bicycles up his arses for years.

--
Cheers, Os
 
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Sid
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      11-16-2007
"Rex" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in
news:(E-Mail Removed):

> http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/...st/7095134.stm
>
>
> A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to
> three years on probation.
>


OTWBFB.

Sid
 
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Annika1980
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      11-16-2007
Maybe his horse died?

 
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Paul Bartram
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      11-16-2007

"Rex" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
news:(E-Mail Removed)...
> http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/...st/7095134.stm
>
>
> A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to
> three
> years on probation.


Unless someone took a photo, not exactly anything to do with us...

** Mountain men like mountain bikes**
~ Possible bumper sticker?

Paul


 
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