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Little old lady

 
 
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      09-03-2007
A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two plastic
garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There's a hole in one of the
bags and every once in a while a $20 bill is flying out of it onto the
pavement. Noticing this, a policeman stops her. "Ma'am, there are $20
bills falling out of that bag." " Darn!" says the little old lady...
"I'd better go back and see if I can still find some. Thanks for the
warning!" "Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all
that money? "Did you steal it?" "Oh, no", says the little old lady. You
see, my backyard backs up to the parking lot of Lambeau Field. Each time
there's a game, a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes and right into
my flower beds! So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge
clipper, and each time someone sticks his little thingie through the
bushes, I say $20 or off it comes!" "Hey, not a bad idea!" laughs the
cop. "OK, good luck! By the way, what's in the other bag?" "Well," says
the little old lady, "some guys think I'm bluffing."
 
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SgtMinor
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      09-03-2007
Rôgêr wrote:
> A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two plastic
> garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There's a hole in one of the
> bags and every once in a while a $20 bill is flying out of it onto the
> pavement. Noticing this, a policeman stops her. "Ma'am, there are $20
> bills falling out of that bag." " Darn!" says the little old lady...
> "I'd better go back and see if I can still find some. Thanks for the
> warning!" "Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all
> that money? "Did you steal it?" "Oh, no", says the little old lady. You
> see, my backyard backs up to the parking lot of Lambeau Field. Each time
> there's a game, a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes and right into
> my flower beds! So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge
> clipper, and each time someone sticks his little thingie through the
> bushes, I say $20 or off it comes!" "Hey, not a bad idea!" laughs the
> cop. "OK, good luck! By the way, what's in the other bag?" "Well," says
> the little old lady, "some guys think I'm bluffing."



An old lady comes to see the doctor.
“Doctor,” she says, “I feel great overall, but I’m a bit concerned about
my digestion. I seem to be passing a lot of gas.”
“Have you made any recent changes to your diet?” asks the doctor.
“What?”
“Any changes in the foods you are eating?”
“Oh, that. No nothing like that, it just started by itself. I just
wanted to be sure it was nothing serious. Fortunately my farts are
totally silent and they don’t stink. As a matter of fact, I cut about
three or four of them in your waiting room and nobody noticed ”
“OK,” says the doctor, “I think I can help you. Here are some pills.
Take one before each meal and come back and see me in a week.”
A week later the old lady comes back to the office. “Doctor, I don’t
like these pills at all. Suddenly now, my farts stink real bad.”
“OK, good,” says the doctor. “That took care of restoring your sense of
smell, now let’s work on your hearing.”
 
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