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safe mode

 
 
=?Utf-8?B?S2V5Ym9hcmQgQ293Ym95?=
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      11-17-2005


"Jtyc" wrote:

> > OK. Maybe he ate one or two script kiddies. Nobody's
> > perfect. I'm sure Bill and Hillary ate their share of
> > script kiddes too,

>
> Hillary is pure evil.
>
>
>
> And she's got fat ankles.
>
>


I think they refer to that as Cankles... you know... where the calves meld
right in with the ankles...
 
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kpg
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      11-17-2005
> Much like the idea of the forever battery, the 1000 mpg automobile,
> etc. it would not make economic sense for a program to be 100%
> bug-free. That's why you won't find a programmer who is capable of
> writing completely bug-free software. In the early days, there was


Wow. I didn't realize I was such a highly skilled programmer.

I'm so skilled, I put bugs into software and I don't even know
I'm doing it! And they are always the kind of bug that takes
hundreds of man-hours to find, thus ensuring full employment
for help desk employees for years to come.

Oh yeah, I have achieved the pinnacle of my profession.


kpg
 
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JaR
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      11-17-2005
In microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, kpg spewed across the ether:

> I'm so skilled, I put bugs into software and I don't even know
> I'm doing it! And they are always the kind of bug that takes
> hundreds of man-hours to find, thus ensuring full employment
> for help desk employees for years to come.
>
> Oh yeah, I have achieved the pinnacle of my profession.


Oh well done! Print yourself up a certificate[0] and sign Bill's[1] name on
it. Maybe even make up a nice laminated, wallet-sized ice scraper to go
with it. Maybe call yourself a CBSE[2] or something. Heck, we all need more
letters to put after our names on our biz cards!

[0]Suitable for framing, of course.
[1]Any Bill will do. Bill Murray is good.
[2]Certified Buggy Software Engineer

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JaR
MCNGP 10110
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Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill them.
 
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kpg
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      11-17-2005
> Maybe call yourself a CBSE[2] or something.


I perfer CBA.


Certified Bug Architect.
 
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JaR
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      11-17-2005
In microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, kpg spewed across the ether:

> I perfer CBA.
>
>
> Certified Bug Architect.


Well, that's nice, too, but it's only 3 letters. A cert with 4 letters is
waaaay more valuable. Why, the most valuable cert of all has _FIVE_
letters!

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JaR
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You can be sincere and still be stupid. ~Charles F. Kettering
 
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Briscobar
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      11-17-2005
JaR <(E-Mail Removed)> rambled:
>
> In microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, kpg spewed across the ether:
>
>> I perfer CBA.
>>
>>
>> Certified Bug Architect.

>
> Well, that's nice, too, but it's only 3 letters. A cert with 4
> letters is waaaay more valuable. Why, the most valuable cert of all
> has _FIVE_ letters!


MCDBA? Shirley, you jest.

--
KB "Yes, I get it" thug

MCNGP #26
www.mcngp.com *is* the one who answered the phone.


 
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JaR
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      11-17-2005
In microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, Briscobar spewed across the ether:

> MCDBA? Shirley, you jest.


I didn't say there weren't exceptions to the rule. But after all, the
purpose of having letters after your name is to impress the dimwitted HR
droids who don't know the difference anyway.

And don't call me Shirley.

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JaR
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Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it
 
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TechGeekPro
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      11-18-2005
On Nov 17, 2005 at 2:26pm "FrisbeeŽ" blathered:

> "JaR" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
> news:Xns97117260DAF8BMisanthrope@207.46.248.16...
>> In microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, Jtyc spewed across the ether:
>>
>>>> Thankfully, we still have Microsoft.
>>>
>>> You think Bill is still testing us?
>>>

>>
>> Where would be the fun if all software "just worked"?
>>
>> Or the jobs, for that matter.

>
> Much like the idea of the forever battery, the 1000 mpg automobile, etc.
> it would not make economic sense for a program to be 100% bug-free.
> That's why you won't find a programmer who is capable of writing
> completely bug-free software. In the early days, there was some
> software that was bug-free, but the companies that wrote them quickly
> went out of business because there was no need for technical support.
> And since the programs had every feature any user could ever possibly
> want, there was no need to upgrade the software for future upgrade fees.
>
> These days, the perfect programmer has either disappeared, or has
> learned to use his mad programming skillz for evil, and is therefore in
> high demand. Your typical bad programmer will not do, as while he or she
> can write really bad code that will ensure that there will be a need for
> technical support and updates, their code is often so bad, that the
> program oft times cannot be fixed at all, and hence you get the company
> going out of business again.
>
> These new age skilled demon programmers are capable of placing
> ingeniously designed "features" into the software which will cause the
> client problems, but only after having enough time for the check to
> clear, and for the client to have become completely invested in the
> software, to where they must purchase technical support and upgrades in
> versions, whether they want the new features or not.
>
> Ironically, this marketing scheme has even crept into the developer
> market itself. Various third-party component developers, such as
> Component One, create grids and other ActiveX controls with intentional
> brick walls in them. Then they charge a yearly fee so that you can get
> upgrades with all new brick walls in them. When you report a problem in
> their high-tech newsgroups, they have a bot or two that reply "Download
> the latest version and try again!" Unfortunately, if you are not on
> their income stream, you will download their latest update, which will
> fix your reported problem, but also introduce new problems, one of which
> is that you now have "trialware" instead of your older, buggier version.
> Ingenious programmers, have they. All previous bugs are fixed! And
> new, exciting ones await, as you read all the other messages in the
> forums.
>
> Ah, to be such a skilled developer, making the big bucks, and laughing
> all the way to the embankment.


I didn't know you worked for M$ Fris.

--
TGP MCNGP #100100
http://www.techgeekpro.com
I'll 'ave one slice of strawberry tart with not so much rat in it.
 
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TechGeekPro
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      11-18-2005
On Nov 17, 2005 at 11:59am "FrisbeeŽ" blathered:

> Whether this "Mike" was real or not, I think this entire thread will
> soon be considered a classic.


Apparently, I came back just in time.

--
TGP MCNGP #100100
http://www.techgeekpro.com
No matter how clever and complete your research is,
there is always someone who knows more.
 
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Neil
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      11-21-2005
did you hear "Jtyc" <(E-Mail Removed)> say in
news:(E-Mail Removed):

> Kids today... they just don't understand the real joy of playing
> games... They just turn them on and they work. What's the point?


"ok, now I take out the disk, turn it upside down, put it back in, close
the door, and press a key..."

--
Neil MCNGP#30

- Tow-ers will be violated.
 
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