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OT Wednesday Funny

 
 
Consultant
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      12-08-2004
A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an
organization.

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that
the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed
a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed
he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around saw that all
the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"

"Well, "he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting

to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they
concluded

that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop

frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are
better

prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15
man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with
his spare.

"I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an
extra trip to get it right now."

I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the
waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same
string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the
waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right
there?"

"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant.
That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the
restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it
out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening
the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent.

I asked "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"

"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."


 
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T-Bone
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      12-08-2004
"Consultant" <consultant_mcngp@yahoodotcom> wrote
> A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an
> organization.


Well, now I have to requisition a new keyboard. This one's got coffee all
over it.

T-Bone
MCNGP XL
rotflmao


 
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JaR
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      12-08-2004
In microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, T-Bone climbed on a soapbox & opined:

> "Consultant" <consultant_mcngp@yahoodotcom> wrote
>> A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an
>> organization.

>
> Well, now I have to requisition a new keyboard. This one's got coffee all
> over it.
>


Does M'sieu require a new spoon?

JaR
Maitre d'Thug
 
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Neil
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      12-09-2004
did you hear JaR <(E-Mail Removed)> say in
news:Xns95B98C7BD6D81plentespamsuxsofthom@207.46.2 48.16:

> Does M'sieu require a new spoon?


no, I don't have a string hanging out of my fly....

--
Neil MCNGP #30
"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to
learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for
their apparent disinclination to do so."
-- a quote by Doug Adams (Author of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
 
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JaR
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      12-09-2004
In microsoft.public.cert.exam.mcse, Neil climbed on a soapbox & opined:

> did you hear JaR <(E-Mail Removed)> say in
> news:Xns95B98C7BD6D81plentespamsuxsofthom@207.46.2 48.16:
>
>> Does M'sieu require a new spoon?

>
> no, I don't have a string hanging out of my fly....
>


My, that is a handsome non-sequitur you have there. Is it house trained?

JaR
Diverted Thug
 
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catwalker63
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      12-10-2004
I don't even know why I go out to eat anymore. <sigh>

--
Catwalker
aka Pu$$y Feet
BS, MCP
MCNGP #43

"I'm not bossy! I just know what you should be doing!"
 
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Neil
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      12-10-2004
did you hear catwalker63 <(E-Mail Removed)> say in
news:Xns95BAA9C664498catwalker63athotmail@216.196. 97.136:

> I don't even know why I go out to eat anymore. <sigh>


make sure everything is "two way" food...

--
Neil MCNGP #30
"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to
learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for
their apparent disinclination to do so."
-- a quote by Doug Adams (Author of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
 
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