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more soul-sapping requirements inflation

 
 
Vigo Breadcrumbs
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      05-21-2004
It's been a while since I posted any of my drivel from the world of the job
seeker, so I humbly offer this, posted via my local newspaper this very day:

DESCRIPTION
This position is responsible in building and maintaining desktop and laptop
computers in multiple store locations.

REQUIREMENTS
* A+ Certification
* Net+ Certification
* MCSE Certification

Responsibilities:
* 1st and 2nd level desktop support
* 1st level telephone support
* Telephone and desktop moves
* Preventative maintenance with each tickets
* Full desktop responsibility from desktop to patch panel
* Configure and deliver New Hire systems


Laugh or cry at your own discretion.

There's that qualification creep again. I'm wondering if there's some kind
of buzzword bingo competition within the secret HR fraternity, only without
the humor of the Dilbert kind.

What does that "SE" in MCSE stand for again???




http://www.vigo-alessi.com/images/products/1362.jpg
 
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Neil
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      05-21-2004
Vigo Breadcrumbs <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in news:Q1prc.1568
$(E-Mail Removed):

> What does that "SE" in MCSE stand for again???


"Stupid Eeediot"

sad, sad, sad...what was once a prized cert is now worthless...

--
Neil MCNGP #30
"you'd do what, to who, for how many biscuits?"
 
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molsonexpert
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      05-21-2004

"Vigo Breadcrumbs" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
news:Q1prc.1568$(E-Mail Removed) ...
> It's been a while since I posted any of my drivel from the world of the

job
> seeker, so I humbly offer this, posted via my local newspaper this very

day:
>
> DESCRIPTION
> This position is responsible in building and maintaining desktop and

laptop
> computers in multiple store locations.
>
> REQUIREMENTS
> * A+ Certification
> * Net+ Certification
> * MCSE Certification
>
> Responsibilities:
> * 1st and 2nd level desktop support
> * 1st level telephone support
> * Telephone and desktop moves
> * Preventative maintenance with each tickets
> * Full desktop responsibility from desktop to patch panel
> * Configure and deliver New Hire systems
>
>
> Laugh or cry at your own discretion.
>
> There's that qualification creep again. I'm wondering if there's some

kind
> of buzzword bingo competition within the secret HR fraternity, only

without
> the humor of the Dilbert kind.
>
> What does that "SE" in MCSE stand for again???
>
>
>
>
> http://www.vigo-alessi.com/images/products/1362.jpg


What is it, $12 (Cdn.) an hour?

As a job seeker myself (although currently employed, and therefore not hard
core deparate. Yet.) I at least try to read between the lines in hopes
there's some advancement or other incentive for applying. I see posts for
MCSE's at $40,000 Cdn., and I'm making more than that now, so what's the
point?

--
"It's such a fine line between stupid and clever."


 
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=?Windows-1252?Q?Frisbee=AE?=
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      05-21-2004
Vigo Breadcrumbs wrote:
>
> What does that "SE" in MCSE stand for again???


Sexual Enigma

--
Fris "Satisfies Everyone" bee®

Certaholics
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/certaholics

 
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Vigo Breadcrumbs
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      05-21-2004
"molsonexpert" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in
news:#(E-Mail Removed):

> What is it, $12 (Cdn.) an hour?


This is listed as a contract position (which could also be in error,
given the meatheads that staff this paper's advertising department), and
given the surfeit of true dummies in my area that call themselves "IT
consultants," I would guess about $12 - $14 US per hour for full-time
work. No benefits and provide your own transportation, naturaly. The
phrase "cheap bastards" keeps rolling around my head.

> As a job seeker myself (although currently employed, and therefore not
> hard core deparate. Yet.) I at least try to read between the lines in
> hopes there's some advancement or other incentive for applying. I see
> posts for MCSE's at $40,000 Cdn., and I'm making more than that now,
> so what's the point?


This job is in service to a mortgage broker, so I think what's between
the lines is "we are a bunch of ADD afflicted, commission-grubbing
Beavis-clones who wish to spend no more than pence on vital services.
We know in this market you are a commodity with the intrinsic value of a
pitcher of warm spit, and will treat you accordingly. We will pay you
as little as possible for only as long as the refinancing bubble holds
or we find someone else cheaper, whichever comes first. If
circumstances require us to pack up the boiler room and leave in the
middle of the night, you last check may not be forthcoming."

I'm a little foamy today because I'm finishing up an application for a
support position with the local circuit court administrator's office.
While the pay and benefits are decent by today's standards, the civil
liberties I'm signing away for a shot at this job are grating. No doubt
this will involve some form of Ashcroft-sponsored rectal examination, or
standing in place for hours on end with women's underpants on my head.
I can only hope I find something else before I have to surrender my
tinfoil hat, get fingerprinted, and get "on the grid."




http://www.vigo-alessi.com/images/products/1362.jpg
 
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JaR
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      05-21-2004
On Fri, 21 May 2004 15:14:56 +0000, Vigo Breadcrumbs extemporised:

> * Full desktop responsibility from desktop to patch panel


Not to be taken lightly! There could be several meters of Cat5 that this
individual must maintain. Surely making certain that chairs are not
inadvertently rolled over the cable requires a modicum of engineering
expertise?

Think of the burden of having to remove the post-it notes with
luser's passwords stuck to monitors when they are replaced without
compromising network security.

I dunno, seems a job for a highly skilled, experienced individual. I am
surprised they do not require further qualifications.

I am sure that, given the responsibilities of this position, the
successful applicant will earn in excess of US $18,000.00 per annum!

Shame, Vigo! You mock without thoughtful cause.

JaR
Serious guhT
 
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billyw
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Posts: n/a
 
      05-21-2004
thats about 3.50 in real money

"molsonexpert" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
news:%(E-Mail Removed)...
>
> "Vigo Breadcrumbs" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
> news:Q1prc.1568$(E-Mail Removed) ...
> > It's been a while since I posted any of my drivel from the world of the

> job
> > seeker, so I humbly offer this, posted via my local newspaper this very

> day:
> >
> > DESCRIPTION
> > This position is responsible in building and maintaining desktop and

> laptop
> > computers in multiple store locations.
> >
> > REQUIREMENTS
> > * A+ Certification
> > * Net+ Certification
> > * MCSE Certification
> >
> > Responsibilities:
> > * 1st and 2nd level desktop support
> > * 1st level telephone support
> > * Telephone and desktop moves
> > * Preventative maintenance with each tickets
> > * Full desktop responsibility from desktop to patch panel
> > * Configure and deliver New Hire systems
> >
> >
> > Laugh or cry at your own discretion.
> >
> > There's that qualification creep again. I'm wondering if there's some

> kind
> > of buzzword bingo competition within the secret HR fraternity, only

> without
> > the humor of the Dilbert kind.
> >
> > What does that "SE" in MCSE stand for again???
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > http://www.vigo-alessi.com/images/products/1362.jpg

>
> What is it, $12 (Cdn.) an hour?
>
> As a job seeker myself (although currently employed, and therefore not

hard
> core deparate. Yet.) I at least try to read between the lines in hopes
> there's some advancement or other incentive for applying. I see posts for
> MCSE's at $40,000 Cdn., and I'm making more than that now, so what's the
> point?
>
> --
> "It's such a fine line between stupid and clever."
>
>



 
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Rick Vigorous
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      05-21-2004
JaR <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in
news(E-Mail Removed):

> Not to be taken lightly! There could be several meters of Cat5 that
> this individual must maintain. Surely making certain that chairs are
> not inadvertently rolled over the cable requires a modicum of
> engineering expertise?


Hold it right there, bub! Expertise in this very area I have
demonstrated. The obligatory Vigo story:

One day, one of the data processing toadies, specifically the one who
always complained loudly and at length that he was forced by fate and
circumstances to take this job only because the events conspired to keep
him from his true and rightful goal (which was to emigrate to Australia
{where he had once been a corporate trainer for Pizza Hut} but whose age
and personal solvency requirements were beyond his reach), was parading
up and down the aisles of the DP area, shouting at whomever had a pulse
that that bastard Vigo (though he used my real name) "changed something
again" (which I never did without frequent and copious advance warning,
which the toadies ignored anyway, but nevertheless I hadn't done in this
case) which was keeping him from doing his important work. One of the
more friendly toadies tipped me off to this guy's fulminations, and I
went to investigate. I inquired as to his problem, and got the full
court press of superciliousness and sarcasm. Proceeding to his desk
area, I noticed that he and the nearby todies had rearranged their
workspace. Owing to the buildings advancing decrepitude and paucity of
network jacks, I immediately suspected a cable problem. I checked the
back of his workstation (getting covered in the obligatory coating of
dust and filth) and found no link light on the NIC. As I'm working,
this character is continuing his abusive ranting about how my cavalier
changes wouldn't be tolerated when they impacted his production. I
began tracing the cable backwards, and got all of three feet when I
found he had routed the cable under his chair mat, which of course had
spikes to keep it in place on the carpet. These spikes had pierced the
insulation, and severed several conductors. Just as Cochise was
reaching his crescendo, I bellowed at the top of my not insubstantial
voice "MAYBE IF YOU WOULDN'T RUIN YOUR GODDAM NETWORK CABLES BY PUTTING
THEM UNDER YOUR GODDAM CHAIR MAT YOU COULD GET SOME GODDAM WORK DONE!"
This was greeted by stunned silence throughout the office. I fetched a
replacement, put it on Cochise's desk, patted him on the back and said,
"I leave that to you," and beat back into my office area before the
chuckles turned into guffaws.

> I am sure that, given the responsibilities of this position, the
> successful applicant will earn in excess of US $18,000.00 per annum!


As a hedge against inflation, I hope to be paid in Jordanian Dinars,
Azeri Manat, Polish Zloties, or Vietnamese Dong.

> Shame, Vigo! You mock without thoughtful cause.


No, I only try to confuse.
 
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Vigo Breadcrumbs
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      05-21-2004
Rick Vigorous <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in news:bXqrc.2322
$(E-Mail Removed):

F@#$ing XNews identites again...



http://www.vigo-alessi.com/images/products/1362.jpg
 
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Neil
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      05-21-2004
Rick Vigorous <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in news:bXqrc.2322
$(E-Mail Removed):

> The obligatory Vigo story:


Tell us another story Uncle Vigo. (we knew it was you..)

--
Neil MCNGP #30
"you'd do what, to who, for how many biscuits?"
 
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