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[waaay OT] second try

 
 
Ken Briscoe
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      03-02-2004
> you know what, punch him in the jaw
>


well it's a good thing you're not an angry homophobe, then.

--

KB - MCNGP "silent thug" #26

first initial last name AT hotmail DOT com


 
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Uncle Stewie
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      03-02-2004
There has to be a way to keep the braindumpers out of this newsgroup...

So now you got me going... Here are a fitting set of IT Commandments:

1.. "Thou shalt have no other Forest Roots before me."
2.. "Thou shalt not download any graven images, or any likeness of any thing that resembles pornography, or shared music onto my network."
3.. "Thou shalt not take the name of Bill Gates in vain"
4.. "Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Run Full Backups of your System State Weekly."
5.. "Honour thy Network Administrator and thy Technical Resource Manager."
6.. "Thou shalt not kill (a process running on any of my servers)."
7.. "Thou shalt not commit adultery (keep your hands off the interns...)."
8.. "Thou shalt not steal (Corporate software for personal use)."
9.. "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy network support personnel (they hate when you say everything was working until he touched my machine)."
10.. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's computer, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's jpegs of his wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's. (Gee Wiz why does Dave have an Oxen... Pervert!) "

"JaR" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message news:(E-Mail Removed)...
> MS modded the first one. See if a couple of changes let this one get thru;
>
>
> Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to
> people who call in to her radio show. Recently she said that
> homosexuality is an abomination according to Lev*****us 18:22,
> and cannot be condoned under any circumstances. The
> following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which
> was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative.
>
> Dear Dr. Laura:
>
> Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have
> learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with
> as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual
> lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Le*****us 18:22 clearly
> states it to be an abomination. End of debate.
>
> I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other
> specific laws and how to follow them.
>
> 1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
> pleasing odor for the Lord -- Le*. 1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They
> claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
>
> 2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exo***
> 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for
> her?
>
> 3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
> period of menstrual uncleanliness -- Le*. 15:19-24. The problem is, how do
> I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.
>
> 4. Le*. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and
> female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of
> mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you
> clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
>
> 5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exo*** 35:2
> clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill
> him myself?
>
> 6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
> abomination -- Le*. 11:10-- it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality.
> I don't agree. Can you settle this?
>
> 7. Le*. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a
> defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my
> vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
>
> 8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
> around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Le*.
> 19:27. How should they die?
>
> 9. I know from Le*. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
> unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
>
> 10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Le*. 19:19 by planting two different
> crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two
> different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse
> and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble
> of getting the whole town together to stone them? -- Le*.24:10-16.
> Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do
> with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Le*. 20:14)
>
> I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you
> can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and
> unchanging.
>
> Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

 
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JaR
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      03-03-2004
Uncle Stewie opined, On 3/2/04 3:53 PM:

> There has to be a way to keep the braindumpers out of this newsgroup...
>
> So now you got me going... Here are a fitting set of IT Commandments:
>
> 1.. "Thou shalt have no other Forest Roots before me."
> 2.. "Thou shalt not download any graven images, or any likeness of any thing that resembles pornography, or shared music onto my network."
> 3.. "Thou shalt not take the name of Bill Gates in vain"
> 4.. "Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Run Full Backups of your System State Weekly."
> 5.. "Honour thy Network Administrator and thy Technical Resource Manager."
> 6.. "Thou shalt not kill (a process running on any of my servers)."
> 7.. "Thou shalt not commit adultery (keep your hands off the interns...)."
> 8.. "Thou shalt not steal (Corporate software for personal use)."
> 9.. "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy network support personnel (they hate when you say everything was working until he touched my machine)."
> 10.. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's computer, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's jpegs of his wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's. (Gee Wiz why does Dave have an Oxen... Pervert!) "
>


ROTFL!!

That one's going up on the wall!

JaR
 
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JaR
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      03-03-2004
Kendal Emery opined, On 3/2/04 2:07 PM:
> Saw the second, not the first.....
>
> But as a gay friend of mine always says.... "I'll take the sausage out of
> my mouth, when you take the sausage out of yours"
>


I'll admit that the concept of two people with sausages hanging out
their yaps is disgusting, but what exactly is it supposed to mean?

JaR
Queasy Thug
 
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Consultant
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      03-03-2004
disgusting

"JaR" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
news:%(E-Mail Removed)...
> Kendal Emery opined, On 3/2/04 2:07 PM:
> > Saw the second, not the first.....
> >
> > But as a gay friend of mine always says.... "I'll take the sausage out

of
> > my mouth, when you take the sausage out of yours"
> >

>
> I'll admit that the concept of two people with sausages hanging out
> their yaps is disgusting, but what exactly is it supposed to mean?
>
> JaR
> Queasy Thug



 
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