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OT: Spam tactics

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"Jtyc" <jtyc_mcngp@f'> wrote in message
news:%(E-Mail Removed)...
> > wanna cut that crap, my head hurts

> The Bistromathic Drive is a wonderful new method of crossing vast
> interstellar distances without all that dangerous mucking about with
> Improbability Factors.
> Bistromathics itself is simply a revolutionary new way of understanding
> the behavior of numbers. Just as Einstein observed that space was not an
> absolute but depended on the observer's movement in space, and that time

> not an absolute, but depended on the observer's movement in time, so it is
> now realized that numbers are not absolute, but depend on the observer's
> movement in restaurants.
> The first nonabsolute number is the number of people for whom the table

> reserved. This will vary during the course of the first three telephone
> calls to the restaurant, and then bear no apparent relation to the number

> people who actually turn up, or to the number of people who subsequently
> join them after the show / match / party / gig, or to the number of people
> who leave when they see who else has turned up.
> The second nonabsolute number is the given time of arrival, which is now
> known to be one of those most bizarre of mathematical concepts, a
> recipriversexcluson, a number whose existence can only be defined as being
> anything other than itself. In other words, the given time of arrival is

> one moment of time at which it is impossible that any member of the party
> will arrive. Recipriversexclusons now play a vital part in many branches

> math, including statistics and accountancy and also form the basic

> used to engineer the Somebody Else's Problem field.
> The third and most mysterious piece of nonabsoIluteness of all lies in

> relationship between the number of items on the check, the cost of each
> item, the number of people at the table and what they are each prepared to
> pay for (the number of people who have actually brought any money is only

> subphenomenon in this field).
> The baffling discrepancies that used to occur at this point remained
> uninvestigated for centuries simply because no one took them seriously.

> were at the time put down to such things as politeness, rudeness,

> flashiness, tiredness, emotionality or the lateness of the hour, and
> completely forgotten about on the following morning. They were never

> under laboratory conditions, of course, because they never occurred in
> laboratories-- not in reputable laboratories at least.
> And so it was only with the advent of pocket computers that the

> truth became finally apparent, and it was this:
> Numbers written on restaurant checks within the confines of restaurants

> not follow the same mathematical laws as numbers written on any other

> of paper in any other parts of the Universe.
> This single statement took the scientific world by storm. It completely
> revolutionized it. So many mathematical conferences got held in such good
> restaurants that many of the finest minds of a generation died of obesity
> and heart failure and the science of math was put back by years.
> Slowly, however, the implications of the idea began to be understood. To
> begin with it had been too stark, too crazy, too much like what the man in
> the street would have said "Oh, yes, I could have told you that." Then

> phrases like "Interactive Subjectivity Frameworks" were invented, and
> everybody was able to relax and get on with it.
> The small groups of monks who had taken up hanging around the major
> research institutes singing strange chants to the effect that the Universe
> was only a figment of its own imagination were eventually given a street
> theater grant and went away.
> bloody English...

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> C**t


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