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OT: Spam tactics

 
 
Jtyc
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      02-06-2004
> Got my son (age 15) "Long Dark Teatime..."
> and another (don't remember title).
> He is really enjoying them.


Douglas Adams has to be one of the funniest writers I have ever read.



"In the beginning the Universe was created.
This had made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad
move.



Many races believe that it was created by some sort of god, though the
Jatravartid people of Viltvodle VI believe that the entire Universe was in
fact sneezed out of the nose of a being called the Great Green Arkleseizure.


The Jatravartid, who lived in perpetual fear of the time they call The
Coming of the Great White Handkerchief, are small blue creatures with more
than fifty arms each, who are therefor unique in being the only race in
history to have invented the aerosol deodorant before the wheel."



 
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JaR
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      02-06-2004
"Jtyc" <jtyc_mcngp@f'nspammersdie.yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:%(E-Mail Removed)...
> > > Douglas Adams has to be one of the funniest writers I have ever read.

>

And to expand upon DA's theorems, and for your amusement:

"for those of you NOT fully up to date on
physics...

The Universe has been expanding for many years, yet the total number of
cluons has remained constatnt, generating a net decrease in specific cluon
density throughout the universe. This, coupled with the natural decay of
cluons, has caused an overall cluon deficit.

Now, in an area of particularly low specific cluon density (Redmond.
wa.us) an organization was formed by the clueless to prey on other
clueless people. This has had two surprising effects.

One, because this organization generates on the order of 6.023E10+23
Ll/cc, so much it is actually responsible for reversing the expanding
universe. Eventually it will suck everything in and the universe will
end.

Normally this would be a good thing.

However, the second effect is the generation of anti-cluons, also known as
bogons in this forum. When a cluon and a bogon meet you are left with a
moron and a lot of leftover energy (usually flying body parts). As the
universe, and it's associated cluons, is drawn into this high bogon field
we have an ever increasing amount of morons and excess energy, which
causes global warming.

So, as you can see the only solution is to get rid of the source of both
the high Ll and bogon field. I'm afraid it may be too late." ---Shmuel
(Seymour J.) Metz, in ASR

JaR
Thug #------------------------------42


 
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Politician Spock
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      02-06-2004
"JaR" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
news:%(E-Mail Removed)...
> "Jtyc" <jtyc_mcngp@f'nspammersdie.yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:%(E-Mail Removed)...
> > > > Douglas Adams has to be one of the funniest writers I have ever

read.
> >

> And to expand upon DA's theorems, and for your amusement:
>
> "for those of you NOT fully up to date on
> physics...
>
> The Universe has been expanding for many years, yet the total number of
> cluons has remained constatnt,


Cluons? WHEW! That's nothin'. If you had said Klingons then we would really
be in trouble.

--
Politician Spock
Thug #24601


 
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kat
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      02-06-2004
We use mailsweeper here. Works good- messages get caught at server.
We've had over 1000 messages (pain in the ass tog o through, make sure
there's no legit messages) in one day! Virus city- about 500 end users.

I get about 10 junk mail in my hotmail account, over 300 in my yahoo
(yes, DAILY). They get filtered to the junk mail folder, but it still
takes up my desperately needed space, so I have to go delete them
manualy. Grrrr.

What kind of admin do you HAVE over there? As an MCSE, wouldn't that
make you over qualified for the admin position ? *grins*

Ken Briscoe wrote:
>>I'm having a fair degree of success at the moment using Mailwasher
>>(www.mailwasher.net) - it allows you to build your own set of rules
>>and filters which I find is a very useful feature.
>>
>>Well worth looking at.

>
>
> I don't know what we have here at work, but our network admin doesn't keep
> it running, so every morning I have 10 or so spams. No big deal, AFAIC, but
> it does tie up bandwidth, and annoy the hell out of end users. (I've been
> on his case to either get a *real* spam filtering system or at least leave
> this one turned on - to no avail so far). Anyways, do you know how much
> spam I get at my hotmail account? None. I use *no* filters of any sort, but
> hotmail must have one hell of a filtering system. I only get a few messages
> a day to my hotmail account, despite having it for over 6 years. I used to
> get quite a bit, but in the last 6 months or so, spam has stopped. I
> haven't gotten a spam in a few months. I did spend about a month sending
> abuse reports to every ISP that a spam originated from, so maybe that has
> something to do with it. But, right now, I'm considering making my hotmail
> account my "real" email account again, not one I use for mailing lists and
> newsgroup contact. No spam is great!
>
> --
>
> KB - MCNGP "silent thug" #26
>
> first initial last name AT hotmail DOT com
>
>


--
Kat MCNGP Wanna be

"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will ****
on your computer."

 
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Jtyc
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      02-06-2004
It is known that there is an infinite number of worlds, but that not every
one is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited
worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as
makes no odds, so if every planet in the Universe has a population of zero
then the entire population of the Universe must also be zero, and any people
you may actually meet from time to time are merely the products of a
deranged imagination.


 
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billyw
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      02-06-2004
hey ... some of us are drinking beer.
wanna cut that crap, my head hurts

"Jtyc" <jtyc_mcngp@f'nspammersdie.yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:(E-Mail Removed)...
> It is known that there is an infinite number of worlds, but that not every
> one is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited
> worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as
> makes no odds, so if every planet in the Universe has a population of zero
> then the entire population of the Universe must also be zero, and any

people
> you may actually meet from time to time are merely the products of a
> deranged imagination.
>
>



 
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JaR
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      02-06-2004
"billyw" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
news:uc$(E-Mail Removed)...
> hey ... some of us are drinking beer.
> wanna cut that crap, my head hurts
>

Serves ya right! F'n Greenwich time zone. Some of us are still hours away
from beer-thirty.

By the time we get off work, you'll prolly be passed out.

F'n Brit.

JaR
Pacific Thug


 
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billyw
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      02-06-2004
beer thirty.. only place i've heard that used is jabil

"JaR" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
news:%(E-Mail Removed)...
> "billyw" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
> news:uc$(E-Mail Removed)...
> > hey ... some of us are drinking beer.
> > wanna cut that crap, my head hurts
> >

> Serves ya right! F'n Greenwich time zone. Some of us are still hours away
> from beer-thirty.
>
> By the time we get off work, you'll prolly be passed out.
>
> F'n Brit.
>
> JaR
> Pacific Thug
>
>



 
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billyw
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      02-06-2004
and yes i will be passed out.

"JaR" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
news:%(E-Mail Removed)...
> "billyw" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
> news:uc$(E-Mail Removed)...
> > hey ... some of us are drinking beer.
> > wanna cut that crap, my head hurts
> >

> Serves ya right! F'n Greenwich time zone. Some of us are still hours away
> from beer-thirty.
>
> By the time we get off work, you'll prolly be passed out.
>
> F'n Brit.
>
> JaR
> Pacific Thug
>
>



 
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Jtyc
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      02-06-2004
> wanna cut that crap, my head hurts

The Bistromathic Drive is a wonderful new method of crossing vast
interstellar distances without all that dangerous mucking about with
Improbability Factors.

Bistromathics itself is simply a revolutionary new way of understanding
the behavior of numbers. Just as Einstein observed that space was not an
absolute but depended on the observer's movement in space, and that time was
not an absolute, but depended on the observer's movement in time, so it is
now realized that numbers are not absolute, but depend on the observer's
movement in restaurants.

The first nonabsolute number is the number of people for whom the table is
reserved. This will vary during the course of the first three telephone
calls to the restaurant, and then bear no apparent relation to the number of
people who actually turn up, or to the number of people who subsequently
join them after the show / match / party / gig, or to the number of people
who leave when they see who else has turned up.

The second nonabsolute number is the given time of arrival, which is now
known to be one of those most bizarre of mathematical concepts, a
recipriversexcluson, a number whose existence can only be defined as being
anything other than itself. In other words, the given time of arrival is the
one moment of time at which it is impossible that any member of the party
will arrive. Recipriversexclusons now play a vital part in many branches of
math, including statistics and accountancy and also form the basic equations
used to engineer the Somebody Else's Problem field.

The third and most mysterious piece of nonabsoIluteness of all lies in the
relationship between the number of items on the check, the cost of each
item, the number of people at the table and what they are each prepared to
pay for (the number of people who have actually brought any money is only a
subphenomenon in this field).

The baffling discrepancies that used to occur at this point remained
uninvestigated for centuries simply because no one took them seriously. They
were at the time put down to such things as politeness, rudeness, meanness,
flashiness, tiredness, emotionality or the lateness of the hour, and
completely forgotten about on the following morning. They were never tested
under laboratory conditions, of course, because they never occurred in
laboratories-- not in reputable laboratories at least.

And so it was only with the advent of pocket computers that the startling
truth became finally apparent, and it was this:

Numbers written on restaurant checks within the confines of restaurants do
not follow the same mathematical laws as numbers written on any other pieces
of paper in any other parts of the Universe.

This single statement took the scientific world by storm. It completely
revolutionized it. So many mathematical conferences got held in such good
restaurants that many of the finest minds of a generation died of obesity
and heart failure and the science of math was put back by years.

Slowly, however, the implications of the idea began to be understood. To
begin with it had been too stark, too crazy, too much like what the man in
the street would have said "Oh, yes, I could have told you that." Then some
phrases like "Interactive Subjectivity Frameworks" were invented, and
everybody was able to relax and get on with it.

The small groups of monks who had taken up hanging around the major
research institutes singing strange chants to the effect that the Universe
was only a figment of its own imagination were eventually given a street
theater grant and went away.



bloody English...


 
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