Dark1 <> Thou vile fiend angelical. Thou
gorbellied dull earth. Thou friendless wretched puling fool. Thou
repulsive most needless creatures living. Ye intoned and ye warbled:
> Hello all, and thank you for your replies in advance,
> For the past several months, using OE, I've had an issue with access
> to my news server.
> If I read a message, and let it sit for a couple of minutes, the next
> message I try to read will hang and time out.
> As long as I keep quickly browsing it's fine, if I select another news
> group, and come back, it's fine.
> So long as I keep reading messages, or changing groups, all is ok,
> but if I let it sit in a group, it will hang and time out.
> Often, this occurs quickly enough to happen in between messages..
> I'll predict the first reply here: get a real newsreader!
> I've tried agent newsreader because of this, I got pretty much the
> same results.
> I'm simply much more comforable with the way OE handles newsgroups..
> I like it.
> My news server is news-server.columbus.rr.com, and my wife works for
> Time Warner, answering the calls about this stuff.
> She hasn't heard of any such problem... I'm a pretty damn computer
> savvy guy, having built more machines than I can think of, and an avid
> overclocker, but I really don't know where to look on this one..
> I'm only using XP firewall through a trendnet gigabit switch and a
> netgear RP614 v2 router..There are no other machines working on this
> at the moment, there have been in the past, and as soon as I get off
> my lazy butt and pull out a screwdriver, there will be 
> But right now, nada..
> any advice is appreciated..
[PROFILER = ON]
Start psychological profiling
POSTER: Dark1 <>
Fog Index and Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level Calculations
================================================== ===
Word Count: 264
Full Stops: 14
Exclamations: 1
Questions: 0
Total Sentences: 15
Long Words: 38
Average Sentence Length: 18
Percentage of Long Words: 14.39%
========================:
Gunning Fog Index: 12.96
Flesch-Kincaid Score: 4
Analysing 8 keywords of 38:
* replies
* advance
* several
* message
* minutes
* message
* quickly
* browsing
30 keywords will not be analysed.
Performing Keyword Analysis:
Keyword 1 of 38:
* replies:
Dark1 is predisposed to suspect, without sufficient basis, that others
are exploiting, harming, or deceiving him.
Keyword 2 of 38:
* advance:
Dark1 is (or suffers from) one or more or all of:
* Ambivalent
* Easily excitable and highly responsive to suggestion
* Needs to be needed
* Impersonal
* Frightened
Dark1 is predisposed to stay in a despised, torturous relationship or
job because he would not wish to offend anyone.
Keyword 3 of 38:
* several:
Dark1 is (or suffers from) one or more or all of:
* Criminal
* Panic-stricken
* Anal-compulsive
* Hopeless
* Highly dogmatic
Anticipate Dark1 to believe that Forest Gump is a real person.
Keyword 4 of 38:
* message:
Dark1 is predisposed to serve guests with the carrots and cucumbers that
went up his partner's anal orifice the night before.
Keyword 5 of 38:
* minutes:
Dark1 is prone to be constantly checking self to avoid mistakes as if
self-worth depends on it.
Keyword 6 of 38:
* message:
Expect Dark1 to be fearful of being rejected and worry about embarassing
himself in front of others.
Keyword 7 of 38:
* quickly:
Expect Dark1 to have an overly intense sense of right and wrong, believe
he is always right.
Keyword 8 of 38:
* browsing:
Dark1 is susceptible to become obsessive about imperfection and the
imagined wrong-doing of others.
*** Fog Index within normal tolerance ***
*** Prolixity indicators not measurable ***
Calculation results are irregular. Additional input text is required to
determine this attribute.
*** ARSE BURGLAR ALERT ***
==========================
Dark1 referenced nether regions and/or bodily functions 1 times in 264 words.
Detected the following references:
1: butt
This person should be suspected of being one or more of the following:
* hairy fairy
* breechloader
* arse goblin
* sarasa
* anal-joyrider
Also analysing for disposition to never have a one-night stand while on
a holiday.
*** IGNORANT PIG ALERT ***
==========================
Dark1 has a Flesch-Kincaid score equivalent to that of a child of age 4.
This person is unintelligent, insensible and nitwitted. This person is
highly likely to tune out from reality and become oblivious. Also expect
Dark1 to be unable to discriminate what he really needs.
*** MENTAL SLOTH ALERT ***
==========================
Extraneous Periods: 8
This person is wishy-washy, undirected and inadequate. Expect Dark1 to
communicate double messages.
*** Weak-mind indicators not measurable ***
Calculation results are negligible. Additional input text is required to
determine this attribute.
*** Scatterbrain indicators barely within tolerance ***
Calculation results are insignificant. Additional input text is required
to determine this attribute.
*** Agitation indicators only just within tolerance ***
Calculation results are unconfirmed. Additional input text is required
to determine this attribute.
*** NARCISSISTIC SELF-ABSORBTION ALERT ***
==========================================
Dark1 referenced himself 21 times in 264 words.
Detected the following overblown self-references:
1: I
2: my
3: I
4: I
5: I
6: I
7: I
8: I
9: I
10: I
11: I
12: I
13: I
14: My
15: my
16: I
17: I
18: I
19: I
20: I
21: my
This person has an enduring, abnormal behaviour pattern of being
big-headed, subjective and contemptuous. Expect this person to be overly
focused on orderliness and perfection, as well as being likely to seek
oblivion. Additionally the person is emotionally unstable and immature.
Psychoneurotic personality disorder is likely; he is prone to read the
personal mail and inspect the bank statements of his friends while they
are out of the house.
Also analysing for disposition to worry that Santa will not bring him
any presents this year.
*** Fastidiousness indicators not measurable ***
Calculation results are variable. Additional input text is required to
determine this attribute.
*** Sycophancy indicators scarcely within tolerance ***
Calculation results are irregular. Additional input text is required to
determine this attribute.
*** Infantilism indicators barely within tolerance ***
Calculation results are doubtful. Additional input text is required to
determine this attribute.
The following questions are recommended to make Dark1 go berserk and
gurgle:
1: Do you still get bisexual feelings?
2: Your lover forgets your birthday. Do you accuse them of not loving
you anymore?
3: Do you still get strong or overpowering desires to take alcohol?
Challenge/Response Predictors
=============================
Challenge 1: Have your premature orgasms been seen to yet?
Expected Response 1: Expect Dark1 to be fatalistic and resigned, as if
nothing can be done to change anything.
Challenge 2: When you go to the movies, are you usually by yourself?
Expected Response 2: Expect Dark1 to be inclined to have 'friends' who
would put him on speakerphone while the person he is backstabbing
happened to be with the 'friend'.
Challenge 3: If you accidentally scratched someone's car, would you
drive off regardless of the damage?
Expected Response 3: Dark1 is prone to view that projecting the
appearance of having everything figured out is a way of defending
himself from the threats posed by relationships.
Personality Predictors
======================
Primary Motivation: To want to be loved.
Secondary Motivation: To withdraw to protect self-image.
Personality Summary (Part A):
1: dissatisfied with reality
2: egocentric
3: adolescent
Personality Summary (Part B):
4: hunting, reptilian, sternutative penis
5: laming, paralytic, paunchy exasperator
6: rummaging, germy, small-time freak out
Predicted Personality Traits:
1: Become provocative and abrasive, with intentionally extreme and
radical views.
2: Extreme dissociation (feeling lost, confused, deeply disconnected).
Predicted Boasting Style:
1: "I'll do whatever it takes to get ahead."
2: "I am smart, curious, and self-aware."
Predicted Attitude to Love:
1: "Feelings are like speed bumps; they just slow me down."
2: "I don't want to be attracted to that person."
Predicted Complaint Categories:
1: "If I don't trust myself, then I have to find something in this world
I can trust."
2: "What if we try it another way?"
Predicted Inadequacies:
1: "The rent is five days late? We're going to be evicted for sure!"
2: "If I'm going to suffer, so are you!"
Dark1 conforms to Persecutory personality disorder with Schizotypal
subtype tendencies.
End psychological profiling for Dark1 <>