OT Friday humor

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected

a half-gallon of 2% milk,
a carton of eggs,
a quart of orange juice,
a head of romaine lettuce,
a 2 lb. can of coffee,
and a 1 lb. package of bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,

"You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by
the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six
items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections
that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're
absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

--
Consultant, MCNGP Founding Father
www.mcngp.tk

Consultant

lol

>-----Original Message-----
>A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she
selected
>
>a half-gallon of 2% milk,
>a carton of eggs,
>a quart of orange juice,
>a head of romaine lettuce,
>a 2 lb. can of coffee,
>and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
>
>As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to
check out, a drunk
>standing behind her watched as she placed the items in
front of the cashier.
>
>While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk
calmly stated,
>
>"You must be single."
>
>The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but
she was intrigued by
>the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.
She looked at her six
>items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual
about her selections
>that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital
status.
>
>Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you
know what, you're
>absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
>
>The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."
>
>--
>Consultant, MCNGP Founding Father
>www.mcngp.tk
>
>
>.
>

Mike

Nasty ;-(

"Consultant" <> wrote in message
news:...
> A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected
>
> a half-gallon of 2% milk,
> a carton of eggs,
> a quart of orange juice,
> a head of romaine lettuce,
> a 2 lb. can of coffee,
> and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
>
> As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
> standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the
cashier.
>
> While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
>
> "You must be single."
>
> The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued
by
> the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her
six
> items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her
selections
> that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
>
> Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're
> absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
>
> The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."
>
> --
> Consultant, MCNGP Founding Father
> www.mcngp.tk
>
>

Jose

"Consultant" <> <wrote in message

A woman goes to the psychiatrist to find out why she has such rotten luck
with men. After several visits, the doctor diagnoses her with bipolar
disorder.

Shocked, she insists on a second opinion.

The doctor replied; Oh, and you're ugly, too!

JaR

JaR

JaR wrote:
> "Consultant" <> <wrote in
> message
>
> A woman goes to the psychiatrist to find out why she has such rotten
> luck with men. After several visits, the doctor diagnoses her with
> bipolar disorder.
>
> Shocked, she insists on a second opinion.
>
> The doctor replied; Oh, and you're ugly, too!

A famous W.C. Fields routine goes something like:

Woman: "Why, you're drunk!"
Fields: "And you're ugly! Tomorrow, I'll be sober."

--
Fris "I don't drink water... fish f*ck in it" bee® MCNGP #13

http://www.mcngp.tk
The MCNGP Team - We're here to help

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/certaholics
Certaholics - We're here if you're beyond help

=?Windows-1252?Q?Frisbee=AE_MCNGP?=

"Frisbee® MCNGP" <> wrote in message
<w.c.fields>
"You, sir, are drunk!"

"I may be drunk, but you are ugly! Tomorrow I will be sober, but you, madam,
will be ugly for the rest of your life!"
</w.c.fields>

JaR

Thought that was Winston Churchill speaking to Lady Astor.

>-----Original Message-----
>"Frisbee® MCNGP" <> wrote in
message
><w.c.fields>
>"You, sir, are drunk!"
>
>"I may be drunk, but you are ugly! Tomorrow I will be
sober, but you, madam,
>will be ugly for the rest of your life!"
></w.c.fields>
>
>
>.
>

Rich

It was *indeed* Churchill but doesnt the quotation end at "tomorrow,
Madam, I shall be sober" ?

On Sat, 15 Nov 2003 07:50:56 -0800, "Rich"
<> wrote:

>Thought that was Winston Churchill speaking to Lady Astor.
>
>>-----Original Message-----
>>"Frisbee® MCNGP" <> wrote in
>message
>><w.c.fields>
>>"You, sir, are drunk!"
>>
>>"I may be drunk, but you are ugly! Tomorrow I will be
>sober, but you, madam,
>>will be ugly for the rest of your life!"
>></w.c.fields>
>>
>>
>>.
>>

P