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OT Friday humor

 
 
Consultant
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      11-14-2003
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected

a half-gallon of 2% milk,
a carton of eggs,
a quart of orange juice,
a head of romaine lettuce,
a 2 lb. can of coffee,
and a 1 lb. package of bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,

"You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by
the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six
items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections
that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're
absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

--
Consultant, MCNGP Founding Father
www.mcngp.tk


 
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Mike
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      11-14-2003
lol

>-----Original Message-----
>A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she

selected
>
>a half-gallon of 2% milk,
>a carton of eggs,
>a quart of orange juice,
>a head of romaine lettuce,
>a 2 lb. can of coffee,
>and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
>
>As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to

check out, a drunk
>standing behind her watched as she placed the items in

front of the cashier.
>
>While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk

calmly stated,
>
>"You must be single."
>
>The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but

she was intrigued by
>the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.

She looked at her six
>items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual

about her selections
>that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital

status.
>
>Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you

know what, you're
>absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
>
>The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."
>
>--
>Consultant, MCNGP Founding Father
>www.mcngp.tk
>
>
>.
>

 
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Jose
Guest
Posts: n/a
 
      11-14-2003
Nasty ;-(

"Consultant" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
news:(E-Mail Removed)...
> A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected
>
> a half-gallon of 2% milk,
> a carton of eggs,
> a quart of orange juice,
> a head of romaine lettuce,
> a 2 lb. can of coffee,
> and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
>
> As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
> standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the

cashier.
>
> While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
>
> "You must be single."
>
> The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued

by
> the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her

six
> items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her

selections
> that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
>
> Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're
> absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
>
> The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."
>
> --
> Consultant, MCNGP Founding Father
> www.mcngp.tk
>
>



 
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JaR
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      11-14-2003
"Consultant" <(E-Mail Removed)> <wrote in message

A woman goes to the psychiatrist to find out why she has such rotten luck
with men. After several visits, the doctor diagnoses her with bipolar
disorder.

Shocked, she insists on a second opinion.

The doctor replied; Oh, and you're ugly, too!

JaR


 
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=?Windows-1252?Q?Frisbee=AE_MCNGP?=
Guest
Posts: n/a
 
      11-14-2003
JaR wrote:
> "Consultant" <(E-Mail Removed)> <wrote in
> message
>
> A woman goes to the psychiatrist to find out why she has such rotten
> luck with men. After several visits, the doctor diagnoses her with
> bipolar disorder.
>
> Shocked, she insists on a second opinion.
>
> The doctor replied; Oh, and you're ugly, too!


A famous W.C. Fields routine goes something like:

Woman: "Why, you're drunk!"
Fields: "And you're ugly! Tomorrow, I'll be sober."

--
Fris "I don't drink water... fish f*ck in it" beeŽ MCNGP #13

http://www.mcngp.tk
The MCNGP Team - We're here to help

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/certaholics
Certaholics - We're here if you're beyond help

 
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JaR
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      11-14-2003
"FrisbeeŽ MCNGP" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
<w.c.fields>
"You, sir, are drunk!"

"I may be drunk, but you are ugly! Tomorrow I will be sober, but you, madam,
will be ugly for the rest of your life!"
</w.c.fields>


 
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Rich
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      11-15-2003
Thought that was Winston Churchill speaking to Lady Astor.

>-----Original Message-----
>"FrisbeeŽ MCNGP" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in

message
><w.c.fields>
>"You, sir, are drunk!"
>
>"I may be drunk, but you are ugly! Tomorrow I will be

sober, but you, madam,
>will be ugly for the rest of your life!"
></w.c.fields>
>
>
>.
>

 
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P
Guest
Posts: n/a
 
      11-15-2003
It was *indeed* Churchill but doesnt the quotation end at "tomorrow,
Madam, I shall be sober" ?

On Sat, 15 Nov 2003 07:50:56 -0800, "Rich"
<(E-Mail Removed)> wrote:

>Thought that was Winston Churchill speaking to Lady Astor.
>
>>-----Original Message-----
>>"FrisbeeŽ MCNGP" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in

>message
>><w.c.fields>
>>"You, sir, are drunk!"
>>
>>"I may be drunk, but you are ugly! Tomorrow I will be

>sober, but you, madam,
>>will be ugly for the rest of your life!"
>></w.c.fields>
>>
>>
>>.
>>


 
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