On Fri, 19 May 2006 22:24:21 -0500, Gabriel Rapture <>
wrote:
>Imhotep,
>
>ImHotep,
>
>I could be wrong, but I don't think it is considered SPAM when people
>join "opt-in groups and agree to receive email from each other.
* Rule #0: Spam is theft.
o Angel's Commentary: Spammers believe it's okay to steal a little bit
from each person on the Internet at once.
* Rule #1: Spammers lie.
o Russell's Admonition: Always assume that there is a measurable
chance that the entity you are dealing with is a spammer.
o Lexical Contradiction: Spammers will redefine any term in order to
disguise their abuse of Internet resources.
+ Sharp's Corollary: Spammers attempt to re-define "spamming" as
that which they do not do.
+ Finnell's Corollary: Spammers define "remove" as "validate."
* Rule #2: If a spammer seems to be telling the truth, see Rule #1.
o Crissman's Corollary: A spammer, when caught, blames his victims.
o Moore's Corollary: Spammer's lies are seldom questioned by
mainstream media.
* Rule #3: Spammers are stupid.
o Krueger's Corollary: Spammer lies are really stupid.
+ Pickett's Commentary: Spammer lies are boring.
o Russell's Corollary: Never underestimate the stupidity of spammers.
o Spinosa's Corollary: Spammers assume everybody is more stupid than
themselves.
o Spammer's Standard of Discourse: Threats and intimidation trump
facts and logic.
o Rizler Syndrome: Under threat of jail time, a spammer's stupidity
tends to expand exponentially until jail time is assured.
* Rule #4: The natural course of a spamming business is to go bankrupt.
Rules-Keeper Shaffer's Refrain:
Spammers routinely prove the Rules of Spam are valid.
It has been noted that the Rules of Spam are equally applicable to
spam-supporters, spam-tolerant ISPs, and various others who directly or
indirectly profit from spam.
The Rules also apply to those people (such as candidates for political office,
solicitors for "worthy" causes, propagators of religious faiths, etc.) who deem
their message to be of such overwhelming importance that it utterly transcends
the rights of others to have the sole and uninhibited enjoyment of their
personal property.
--
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