«

I think I already know the answer to this, but I figured I'd go for
some random opinions from y'all since your answers are usually
spot-on. (Probably an answer from The K-Man would be the best! )

I know this guy who is homeless.
He's been thus even since he dropped out of 10th grade.
I've known him since we were in elementary school together.
He's come around now asking me to help him, which means he wants me to
GIVE him a place to live, a car, a job, money to live on, a
cell-phone, a PC, a CD player, food, etc., etc.
I feel sorry for him, but he's 50 years old now and *should* have
figured out by now that TNSTAAFL.
I don't have the means to give him anything.
I will give him a ride out of town today though.
Should I do more?

Is there an answer?

Dr. Memory wrote:
> I think I already know the answer to this, but I figured I'd go for
> some random opinions from y'all since your answers are usually
> spot-on. (Probably an answer from The K-Man would be the best! )
>
> I know this guy who is homeless.
> He's been thus even since he dropped out of 10th grade.
> I've known him since we were in elementary school together.
> He's come around now asking me to help him, which means he wants me to
> GIVE him a place to live, a car, a job, money to live on, a
> cell-phone, a PC, a CD player, food, etc., etc.
> I feel sorry for him, but he's 50 years old now and *should* have
> figured out by now that TNSTAAFL.
> I don't have the means to give him anything.
> I will give him a ride out of town today though.
> Should I do more?
>
> Is there an answer?

9mm. Double tap.
--
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as
members. Groucho Marx

"Dr. Memory" <> wrote in message
news:...
>I think I already know the answer to this, but I figured I'd go for
> some random opinions from y'all since your answers are usually
> spot-on. (Probably an answer from The K-Man would be the best! )
>
> I know this guy who is homeless.
>
Some people are adequate, some are not.
Some people can cope others cannot.
Everone knows life can be a B*st*rd.
You don`t owe him anything, so just point him toward
a bunch of `do-gooders`.
They turn the other cheek you know <g>.

真诚的欢迎朋å�‹ä»¬å…‰ä¸´è‡ªç”±å¤©ç©º.é¦–å…ˆè ¯·æ³¨å†Œæˆ�为我们的会员.论å�›åœ°å�€http://tongsaojun.lun123.com
注册å�Žè¿˜å�¯ä»¥åœ¨çº¿ä¸Šä¼*网页,FTP下载,æˆ�功å*¦å*¦ä¹*

On Mon, 08 May 2006 06:33:14 -0400, Dr. Memory <>
wrote:

>I think I already know the answer to this, but I figured I'd go for
>some random opinions from y'all since your answers are usually
>spot-on. (Probably an answer from The K-Man would be the best! )
>
>I know this guy who is homeless.
>He's been thus even since he dropped out of 10th grade.
>I've known him since we were in elementary school together.
>He's come around now asking me to help him, which means he wants me to
>GIVE him a place to live, a car, a job, money to live on, a
>cell-phone, a PC, a CD player, food, etc., etc.
>I feel sorry for him, but he's 50 years old now and *should* have
>figured out by now that TNSTAAFL.
>I don't have the means to give him anything.
>I will give him a ride out of town today though.
>Should I do more?
>
>Is there an answer?

You answered the question in your own question.

>I feel sorry for him, but he's 50 years old now and *should* have
>figured out by now that TNSTAAFL.

He's 50. If he had wanted to live any other lifestyle, he would have long ago.
Instead, he has chosen to be a parasite preying on others.

Note: This is how he has *chosen* to live. You didn't choose that for him.

Helping someone who is making an earnest *effort* to make a better life for
themselves, i.e. helping them until they can get a job, etc., because you know
they've been working hard to make their life better is one thing. But from what
you posted, that's not what's happening. You are under no obligation to support
him simply because he asks or expects you to. You are not responsible for his
lifestyle choices, and not responsible for his life. And in fact, by doing all
that, you might be encouraging him to do more of the same thing he's always
done.

Everyone has to grow up sometime. At 50, he ought to be able to at least try to
live his *own* life without having others furnish everything for him. You
shouldn't feel guilty about saying "No" if that's what you want to do. He made
his choice - now you make yours.

--
Stress is when you wake up screaming, and then realize
that you haven't fallen asleep yet.

On Mon, 08 May 2006 03:54:26 -0700, æˆ�功之路 wrote:

> 真诚的欢à ¨Â¿ÂŽÃ¦ÂœÂ‹Ã¥ÂÂ�‹ä»¬å …‰ä¸´è‡ªç”±å ¤Â©Ã§Â©Âº.首先蠯·æ³¨å†ŒæˆÂÂ�ä¸à ‚ºÃ¦ÂˆÂ‘们的传šÃƒÂ¥Ã‚‘˜.论åÂÂ�݌ϡ Ã¥ÂÂ�€http://tongsaojun.lun123.com
> 注册åÂ�Žè¿˜à ¥Â�¯ä»¥åœ¨çº¿ä ¸Šä¼Â
> 网页,FTP下è½Â ½,æˆÂÂ�功åÂÂ*¦åÂÂ* ¦ÃƒÂ¤Ã‚¹

Yes

--

Pierre Salinger Memorial Hook, Line & Sinker, June 2004

On 2006-05-08, Dr Memory <> wrote:
> I think I already know the answer to this, but I figured I'd go for
> some random opinions from y'all since your answers are usually
> spot-on. (Probably an answer from The K-Man would be the best! )
>
> I know this guy who is homeless.
> He's been thus even since he dropped out of 10th grade.
> I've known him since we were in elementary school together.
> He's come around now asking me to help him, which means he wants me to
> GIVE him a place to live, a car, a job, money to live on, a
> cell-phone, a PC, a CD player, food, etc., etc.
> I feel sorry for him, but he's 50 years old now and *should* have
> figured out by now that TNSTAAFL.
> I don't have the means to give him anything.
> I will give him a ride out of town today though.
> Should I do more?
>
> Is there an answer?

If he's physically and mentally capable, point him at the adverts for
'situations vacant'. If he seems genuinely not to be able to support
himself, then try to find a state or charitable institution that can offer
him whatever care and support he needs. That is a lot easier said than
done, I know. I don't know the details of whatever welfare system there
may be wherever you are, so I can't give specific advice.

If he won't accept one or the other, then he's on his own, it seems.

--
-- ^^^^^^^^^^
-- Whiskers
-- ~~~~~~~~~~

In news:,
Mara spewed forth:
> On Mon, 08 May 2006 06:33:14 -0400, Dr. Memory
> <> wrote:
>
>> I think I already know the answer to this, but I figured I'd go for
>> some random opinions from y'all since your answers are usually
>> spot-on. (Probably an answer from The K-Man would be the best! )
>>
>> I know this guy who is homeless.
>> He's been thus even since he dropped out of 10th grade.
>> I've known him since we were in elementary school together.
>> He's come around now asking me to help him, which means he wants me
>> to GIVE him a place to live, a car, a job, money to live on, a
>> cell-phone, a PC, a CD player, food, etc., etc.
>> I feel sorry for him, but he's 50 years old now and *should* have
>> figured out by now that TNSTAAFL.
>> I don't have the means to give him anything.
>> I will give him a ride out of town today though.
>> Should I do more?
>>
>> Is there an answer?
>
> You answered the question in your own question.
>
>> I feel sorry for him, but he's 50 years old now and *should* have
>> figured out by now that TNSTAAFL.
>
> He's 50. If he had wanted to live any other lifestyle, he would have
> long ago. Instead, he has chosen to be a parasite preying on others.
>
> Note: This is how he has *chosen* to live. You didn't choose that for
> him.
>
> Helping someone who is making an earnest *effort* to make a better
> life for themselves, i.e. helping them until they can get a job,
> etc., because you know they've been working hard to make their life
> better is one thing. But from what you posted, that's not what's
> happening. You are under no obligation to support him simply because
> he asks or expects you to. You are not responsible for his lifestyle
> choices, and not responsible for his life. And in fact, by doing all
> that, you might be encouraging him to do more of the same thing he's
> always done.
>
> Everyone has to grow up sometime. At 50, he ought to be able to at
> least try to live his *own* life without having others furnish
> everything for him. You shouldn't feel guilty about saying "No" if
> that's what you want to do. He made his choice - now you make yours.

Nicely said. There are times when someone may be going down a rough road.
But if they have chosen to /stay/ there, then nothing anyone does will
change it. Helping them usually makes the problem worse - for both parties.

--
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

In news:quu3j3-,
Whiskers spewed forth:
> On 2006-05-08, Dr Memory <> wrote:
>> I think I already know the answer to this, but I figured I'd go for
>> some random opinions from y'all since your answers are usually
>> spot-on. (Probably an answer from The K-Man would be the best! )
>>
>> I know this guy who is homeless.
>> He's been thus even since he dropped out of 10th grade.
>> I've known him since we were in elementary school together.
>> He's come around now asking me to help him, which means he wants me
>> to GIVE him a place to live, a car, a job, money to live on, a
>> cell-phone, a PC, a CD player, food, etc., etc.
>> I feel sorry for him, but he's 50 years old now and *should* have
>> figured out by now that TNSTAAFL.
>> I don't have the means to give him anything.
>> I will give him a ride out of town today though.
>> Should I do more?
>>
>> Is there an answer?
>
> If he's physically and mentally capable, point him at the adverts for
> 'situations vacant'. If he seems genuinely not to be able to support
> himself, then try to find a state or charitable institution that can
> offer him whatever care and support he needs. That is a lot easier
> said than done, I know. I don't know the details of whatever welfare
> system there may be wherever you are, so I can't give specific advice.
>
> If he won't accept one or the other, then he's on his own, it seems.

I have an aquaintance who has an I.Q. of 70. Seriously - I've seen the
paperwork. And he's emotionally challenged as well. For many years he lived
on social security. At some point in his life, mid 40s I think, he decided
he wanted to do more with his life than just get by on the pittance
provided. He went out and found a job, a wife, a home, etc. There are people
and places to help the less fortunate - but the choice is still theirs (for
the most part - obviously there are many who can't even make that choice). I
give to charity - not much, 'cause I don't have much - but the charities I
give to are the ones who help the truly helpless, not the ones who help the
"please feed me because I don't feel like getting a job." Unfortunately, my
taxes do that on my behalf.

On Mon, 8 May 2006 12:00:12 -0700, "Toolman Tim" <>
wrote:

>In news:,
>Mara spewed forth:

<snip>
>> He's 50. If he had wanted to live any other lifestyle, he would have
>> long ago. Instead, he has chosen to be a parasite preying on others.
>>
>> Note: This is how he has *chosen* to live. You didn't choose that for
>> him.
>>
>> Helping someone who is making an earnest *effort* to make a better
>> life for themselves, i.e. helping them until they can get a job,
>> etc., because you know they've been working hard to make their life
>> better is one thing. But from what you posted, that's not what's
>> happening. You are under no obligation to support him simply because
>> he asks or expects you to. You are not responsible for his lifestyle
>> choices, and not responsible for his life. And in fact, by doing all
>> that, you might be encouraging him to do more of the same thing he's
>> always done.
>>
>> Everyone has to grow up sometime. At 50, he ought to be able to at
>> least try to live his *own* life without having others furnish
>> everything for him. You shouldn't feel guilty about saying "No" if
>> that's what you want to do. He made his choice - now you make yours.
>
>Nicely said. There are times when someone may be going down a rough road.
>But if they have chosen to /stay/ there, then nothing anyone does will
>change it. Helping them usually makes the problem worse - for both parties.

I have good reason to feel this way - I have a brother who is exactly like this.
At 48 years old, he claims to be "semi-retired" and has lived with my parents
for the last 12 years. He doesn't have a job and won't look for one, I suspect
because it's pretty well known in these parts that he's a drunk. Plus, minimum
wage is "beneath him." Those are his words, not mine.

So there he sits, on his ass, sponging everything he can off my parents. I can't
remember all the times my father has had to go over to the next town and bail
his ass out of jail and get Dad's pickup out of the impound lot at $120 a shot
because he got drunk and got a DUI or got into a fight or any number of other
assorted stupidities.

But he's not the only one at fault there. In fact, the last time Dad went to
court with him, the judge told him flat out to stop enabling him. But did he
listen? Hell no - because my mother wouldn't have it.

I stayed there for two weeks while I was in the process of moving here. That was
WAY more than enough for me. Yet, my brother though *I* was crazy for moving out
and away.

Frankly, he disgusts me. And so do they.

"Oh, man, don't get me started on *that* situation, because I have a LOT to say
about it."

--
Stress is when you wake up screaming, and then realize
that you haven't fallen asleep yet.