This guy gets pulled over for speeding. The cop approaches the window and the
guy pleads with the cop not to give him a ticket because he's late for work and
if he's late one more time he'll lose his job.
"Well, what do you do?" the cop asks.
"I'm a rectum stretcher" the guy replies.
"A rectum stretcher?! What the h311 is that?" the cop asks.
"I stretch rectums by inserting a single finger, then two, then my fist, then
both fists, and I stretch and stretch the rectum until it's 6 foot wide."
"What the h311 do you do with a 6 foot @$$hole???" the cop asks.