«

Ok, let's say that theorhetically, these Microsoft certifications weren't
completely valueless, and that I had a legitimate interest in actually
studying for and passing one of these exams. No, seriously, let's say that.

For the sake of discussion, perhaps to benefit others who read things, let's
pretend that I genuinely wanted to further my fantastically underwhelming
career in the world of information technology, and I could put aside my
ambivolence towards wearing a tie and sucking up like a corporate mindslave,
so I could buy a house, and get a wife, and be NORMAL.

No, don't get carried away, this is just PRETEND, and maybe for the benefit
of someone else, because I am pure evil, and you don't want to help ME, so
pretend it's for the other guy.

So, for the scenario, I'll take Mind Control Test #270, which you can equate
to an actual test of the same number.

What do I need to do to prepare myself?
How long should I give myself to study before I take the test?
What memorization and study techniques do you recommend?
What reading materials are the most useful?
What reading materials are the most economic?
What should I bring with me on the day of the test to be ready?
Are there other questions I haven't asked that you think answers to would
help the other guy?

Not looking for a braindump. Looking for mental preparedness type stuff from
you mind-altering psychos that spent money to get a piece of paper for your
"I LOVE ME" wall.

Thanks in advance,
Microcephalic S. Bob

> .... Test #270,

Preparation Guide for Exam 70-270:
http://www.microsoft.com/learning/exams/70-270.asp

Braindump Free.
http://www.certguard.com/

On Fri, 20 Oct 2006 02:40:42 -0600, TPS Report cast into the ether:

> Ok, let's say that theorhetically, these Microsoft certifications
> weren't completely valueless, and that I had a legitimate interest in
> actually studying for and passing one of these exams. No, seriously,
> let's say that.

It's gonna be a stretch. But lemme try.

K I went and said it. It made me grin, but I was able to at least get it
out.


> For the sake of discussion, perhaps to benefit others who read things,
> let's pretend that I genuinely wanted to further my fantastically
> underwhelming career in the world of information technology, and I could
> put aside my ambivolence towards wearing a tie and sucking up like a
> corporate mindslave, so I could buy a house, and get a wife, and be
> NORMAL.
>
> No, don't get carried away, this is just PRETEND, and maybe for the
> benefit of someone else, because I am pure evil, and you don't want to
> help ME, so pretend it's for the other guy.
>
>
Other guy, got it. Pretending just as hard as I can now.

> So, for the scenario, I'll take Mind Control Test #270, which you can
> equate to an actual test of the same number.
>
>
Oh cool, I know this one. Just pretend, though. Right?

> What do I need to do to prepare myself?

A sharp razor blade. I preferred Wilkinson Sword, but I haven't seen those
for a long time. You might be able to find some, but I can't be bothered
to look right now, because I'm involved in this mind-bogglinly difficult
pretend thing with you that is taking all(well some, anyway) of my
concentration.


> How long should I give myself to study before I take the
test?

If you haven't managed to talk yourself out of spending the money, you
haven't thought about it hard enough. If somebody else is paying, then as
long as they are paying you to study and stuff. If nobody is giving you
ridiculous piles of money to do it, stop, you have studied enough.


> What memorization and study techniques do you recommend?

I like to chant passages from the study guides to a background of recorded
sitar music. Old Ravi Shankar is the best, but Roop Verma is really good
too. Incense makes for a nice touch, but is not really needed, in my
opinion.

> What reading materials are the most useful?

Oh, that's easy. Any of the Retief books by Keith Laumer. He kills me! But
in a pinch, you could dig up some old John D. MacDonald stuff. His Travis
McGee books were great.

> What reading materials are the most
> economic?

Well, since you're gonna be reading older novels, you can usually find
them at used bookstores, but thrift shops are cheaper.

> What should I bring with me on the day of the test to be ready?

Make sure you've got a load on. I can't emphasize this enough. I mean
really loaded! It doesn't matter what your intoxicant of choice is, just
consume more than normal for effect.

> Are there other questions I haven't asked that you think answers to
> would help the other guy?
>
>
Well, you never asked about my day, and I think that was a little
self-centered of you, but I'm willing to let that little faux pas slide.

> Not looking for a braindump.

Of course not.

> Looking for mental preparedness type stuff from you mind-altering
> psychos that spent money to get a piece of paper for your "I LOVE ME"
> wall.
>
>
I'm so glad you decided to finally ask. I fervently hope you will take my
advice to heart, and good luck with the thing you seem to indicate that
you might concievably not want to really do after all.


> Thanks in advance,

Welcome in arrears,

--
JaR
MCNGP 22
Here there be dragons
Remove hat to reply

"OT-MAN" <OTM> wrote in message
news:...
>> .... Test #270,
>
> Preparation Guide for Exam 70-270:
> http://www.microsoft.com/learning/exams/70-270.asp
>
> Braindump Free.
> http://www.certguard.com/

How ironic is it that Orange Tan Man helps McBob by providing him that last
link.

I don't think McBob has ever even heard of certguard or anything.

"Frisbee®" <> wrote in message
news:...
> "OT-MAN" <OTM> wrote in message
> news:...
>>> .... Test #270,
>>
>> Preparation Guide for Exam 70-270:
>> http://www.microsoft.com/learning/exams/70-270.asp
>>
>> Braindump Free.
>> http://www.certguard.com/
>
> How ironic is it that Orange Tan Man helps McBob by providing him that
> last link.
>
> I don't think McBob has ever even heard of certguard or anything.
>
>
Hahaha...I totally missed that message. Yeah it is very ironic, since we all
know how much McBob has contributed to the site. Besides, I would NEVER
share that information with the other MCNGP members.

Ok, this was too much to pass up. Regardless of how many various ways
it's been asked, this is the first time it's been asked by an inanimate
object and specifically a TPS report. I hope that later a red Swingline
stapler will ask me how many quoestions are on the 70-290 exam and an
obtuse fax machine blinking "PC LOAD LETTER" will query for the youngest
MCP. But it really does take the inquiries of items without a brain stem
(ok that opens up a much larger community here) - scratch that -
inquiries of non-living, non-sentient, office related supplies to get me
to reply to this bunch....or not. I might pop in onceder and a while...or
not.

did you hear "TPS Report" <http://www.planetoftheheads.com> say in
news::

> What do I need to do to prepare myself?

Practice. You learn by doing. VPC and VMWare are your freind. learn by
doing. The prep guide (remarkably, OT-MAN was on track with this one -
OUCH that hurt) is a good starting place for what you need to practice.
Google is next on your hit list.

> How long should I give myself to study before I take the test?

as long as it takes. When you honestly feel you know the product beyond
what was in the prep guide, you are ready for the test. I agree with JaR
that you should try to get someone else to pay for it, but since we are
being imaginative, I will imagine you have someone else paying. If it
takes you 1 month or 1 year it doesn't matter how long, but I find I am
more motivated when I have a deadline to learn the stuff. I have given
myself a year to get my PMP. I am learning PM theory on a highly
accelerated pace vs the past 5 years because of my deadline. That's just
me though.

> What memorization and study techniques do you recommend?

um, repetition of labs work? Real world expereince that goes really wrong
so you can learn from bad experience? I find that what I read does not
stick with me nearly as well as what I do.

> What reading materials are the most useful?

everythign I can get my hands on. Sure I've gone through the study guides
like Sybex and Syngress and MS Press, but I also fire up the Help files,
books online, google stuf that doesn't make sense and TECHNET! there are
hundreds of white papers, case studies, kb articles and an online version
of the resource kit that will really help for MS test.

> What reading materials are the most economic?

'scalled www.microsoft.com - free and from the horses mouth. THat + Books
online/help files = lots of free reading. If you go through all of teh
material in the resource kit for XP, then all of the material in the
resouce kit for win2003, then all of the info in the help files for both
O/S's and still can't pass the exam for 270, there's only one
explaination - you didn't practice what you read.

> What should I bring with me on the day of the test to be ready?

clothing. I find that showing up nekid tends to cause a lot of
distractions and I usually fail the exams when the police are hauling me
out of the test center for public indecency. Other than that, you need to
bring the knowledge you've gained over the past X intervals while
learning the product. If that doesn't fit entirely in your brain, yer
hosed. I bring nothing to my exams, no books, no pens, no gadgets,
nothing...except the clothing...that's important...

> Are there other questions I haven't asked that you think answers to
would
> help the other guy?

probably...but that's why we have google...

--
The InterNeil MCNGP Triple X

- Caffeine is not a drug, it's a vitamin!

How you study should be based on how you personally learn, in my opinion.
For me, it's practical application. I read a book like the Mastering
Windows Server 2003 by Mark Minasi and then I turn around and build
something off of it. It can't just be installing it, I need an actual goal
when I build it. Others simple read and retain the knowledge.

If you don't want to buy the books, there is enough documentation provided
by Microsoft and the user community for you to get by. The books just
organize it for me a little better.

Please for to tell us where certifigit for free be getted. My mom sez
70-290 will be gud.

Neil wrote:
> Ok, this was too much to pass up. Regardless of how many various ways
> it's been asked, this is the first time it's been asked by an inanimate
> object and specifically a TPS report. I hope that later a red Swingline
> stapler will ask me how many quoestions are on the 70-290 exam and an
> obtuse fax machine blinking "PC LOAD LETTER" will query for the youngest
> MCP. But it really does take the inquiries of items without a brain stem
> (ok that opens up a much larger community here) - scratch that -
> inquiries of non-living, non-sentient, office related supplies to get me
> to reply to this bunch....or not. I might pop in onceder and a while...or
> not.
>
> did you hear "TPS Report" <http://www.planetoftheheads.com> say in
> news::
>
>> What do I need to do to prepare myself?
>
> Practice. You learn by doing. VPC and VMWare are your freind. learn by
> doing. The prep guide (remarkably, OT-MAN was on track with this one -
> OUCH that hurt) is a good starting place for what you need to practice.
> Google is next on your hit list.
>
>> How long should I give myself to study before I take the test?
>
> as long as it takes. When you honestly feel you know the product beyond
> what was in the prep guide, you are ready for the test. I agree with JaR
> that you should try to get someone else to pay for it, but since we are
> being imaginative, I will imagine you have someone else paying. If it
> takes you 1 month or 1 year it doesn't matter how long, but I find I am
> more motivated when I have a deadline to learn the stuff. I have given
> myself a year to get my PMP. I am learning PM theory on a highly
> accelerated pace vs the past 5 years because of my deadline. That's just
> me though.
>
>> What memorization and study techniques do you recommend?
>
> um, repetition of labs work? Real world expereince that goes really wrong
> so you can learn from bad experience? I find that what I read does not
> stick with me nearly as well as what I do.
>
>> What reading materials are the most useful?
>
> everythign I can get my hands on. Sure I've gone through the study guides
> like Sybex and Syngress and MS Press, but I also fire up the Help files,
> books online, google stuf that doesn't make sense and TECHNET! there are
> hundreds of white papers, case studies, kb articles and an online version
> of the resource kit that will really help for MS test.
>
>> What reading materials are the most economic?
>
> 'scalled www.microsoft.com - free and from the horses mouth. THat + Books
> online/help files = lots of free reading. If you go through all of teh
> material in the resource kit for XP, then all of the material in the
> resouce kit for win2003, then all of the info in the help files for both
> O/S's and still can't pass the exam for 270, there's only one
> explaination - you didn't practice what you read.
>
>> What should I bring with me on the day of the test to be ready?
>
> clothing. I find that showing up nekid tends to cause a lot of
> distractions and I usually fail the exams when the police are hauling me
> out of the test center for public indecency. Other than that, you need to
> bring the knowledge you've gained over the past X intervals while
> learning the product. If that doesn't fit entirely in your brain, yer
> hosed. I bring nothing to my exams, no books, no pens, no gadgets,
> nothing...except the clothing...that's important...
>
>> Are there other questions I haven't asked that you think answers to
> would
>> help the other guy?
>
> probably...but that's why we have google...
>

did you hear Red Swingline Stapler <> say in
news::

> Please for to tell us where certifigit for free be getted. My mom sez
> 70-290 will be gud.

I am afraid you will have to discuss that with the Fax machine. It has
all of the facts...or fax...or WHATEVER....

yeah, we're gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage
B. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can
get. So if you could just go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it
down there, that would be terrific, OK?
--
The InterNeil MCNGP Triple X

- Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

ehh...you guys are killing me...stop it already


It wazznt me..



"JaR" <> wrote in message
news...
> On Fri, 20 Oct 2006 02:40:42 -0600, TPS Report cast into the ether:
>
>> Ok, let's say that theorhetically, these Microsoft certifications
>> weren't completely valueless, and that I had a legitimate interest in
>> actually studying for and passing one of these exams. No, seriously,
>> let's say that.
>
> It's gonna be a stretch. But lemme try.
>
> K I went and said it. It made me grin, but I was able to at least get it
> out.
>
>
>> For the sake of discussion, perhaps to benefit others who read things,
>> let's pretend that I genuinely wanted to further my fantastically
>> underwhelming career in the world of information technology, and I could
>> put aside my ambivolence towards wearing a tie and sucking up like a
>> corporate mindslave, so I could buy a house, and get a wife, and be
>> NORMAL.
>>
>> No, don't get carried away, this is just PRETEND, and maybe for the
>> benefit of someone else, because I am pure evil, and you don't want to
>> help ME, so pretend it's for the other guy.
>>
>>
> Other guy, got it. Pretending just as hard as I can now.
>
>> So, for the scenario, I'll take Mind Control Test #270, which you can
>> equate to an actual test of the same number.
>>
>>
> Oh cool, I know this one. Just pretend, though. Right?
>
>> What do I need to do to prepare myself?
>
> A sharp razor blade. I preferred Wilkinson Sword, but I haven't seen those
> for a long time. You might be able to find some, but I can't be bothered
> to look right now, because I'm involved in this mind-bogglinly difficult
> pretend thing with you that is taking all(well some, anyway) of my
> concentration.
>
>
>> How long should I give myself to study before I take the
> test?
>
> If you haven't managed to talk yourself out of spending the money, you
> haven't thought about it hard enough. If somebody else is paying, then as
> long as they are paying you to study and stuff. If nobody is giving you
> ridiculous piles of money to do it, stop, you have studied enough.
>
>
>> What memorization and study techniques do you recommend?
>
> I like to chant passages from the study guides to a background of recorded
> sitar music. Old Ravi Shankar is the best, but Roop Verma is really good
> too. Incense makes for a nice touch, but is not really needed, in my
> opinion.
>
>> What reading materials are the most useful?
>
> Oh, that's easy. Any of the Retief books by Keith Laumer. He kills me! But
> in a pinch, you could dig up some old John D. MacDonald stuff. His Travis
> McGee books were great.
>
>> What reading materials are the most
>> economic?
>
> Well, since you're gonna be reading older novels, you can usually find
> them at used bookstores, but thrift shops are cheaper.
>
>> What should I bring with me on the day of the test to be ready?
>
> Make sure you've got a load on. I can't emphasize this enough. I mean
> really loaded! It doesn't matter what your intoxicant of choice is, just
> consume more than normal for effect.
>
>> Are there other questions I haven't asked that you think answers to
>> would help the other guy?
>>
>>
> Well, you never asked about my day, and I think that was a little
> self-centered of you, but I'm willing to let that little faux pas slide.
>
>> Not looking for a braindump.
>
> Of course not.
>
>> Looking for mental preparedness type stuff from you mind-altering
>> psychos that spent money to get a piece of paper for your "I LOVE ME"
>> wall.
>>
>>
> I'm so glad you decided to finally ask. I fervently hope you will take my
> advice to heart, and good luck with the thing you seem to indicate that
> you might concievably not want to really do after all.
>
>
>> Thanks in advance,
>
> Welcome in arrears,
>
> --
> JaR
> MCNGP 22
> Here there be dragons
> Remove hat to reply
>