"Superman Returns"; *I* barf up stuff I ate 5 years ago

I went to see that damned movie and PHEWWEEEE! what a stench. The
acting is about as good as you could ask for, the effects are
outstanding and the soundtrack was a cut above.

However, the whole thing reeks of sniveling, emo-band breast-beating.
There's no damned humor in it, a gross oversight and its essentially a
giant chick-flick with none of the endearing attributes that rescue a
certain number of them from terminal insipidity. Aside from the
all-too-few super-power scenes, which do rock, its a buncha longing
looks, melodramatic shticks and retreaded, RETARDED classic Superman
sayings reworked so as not to offend the politically-correct
puckerbutts. Its almost like Goethe's "The Sorrows of Young Werther" in
red and blue tights.

One of the biggest stinks is several visuals and bits of dialogue that
are a revolting sop to the Christian crowd that keeps pressing us all
forward into dynamic mediocrity. Its SUPERMAN, NOT ****ING DAMNED JESUS.
You might as well press raccoon crap into discs as make DVDs of this
wimptastic cod's wallop.

The real offense of it is that it really TRIES to be a good flick and
it has many of the overtones one would associate with same. It does flow
well and a lot of obvious craft went into it, but it fails on so many
counts, even a fanboy should be revolted. Its also 30 minutes too long.
I knew it was a flop when I realized my mind had wandered enough to be
thinking about dinner and whatever had my shoe stuck to the floor.

"Batman Begins" had balls; "Superman Returns" has a floppy vagina.

--

HellPope Huey
Simple Simon met a Pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pie man unto Simon,
"Pies, you dumb #$%!"

A reputation once broken may possibly be repaired,
but the world will always keep their eyes
on the spot where the crack was.
~ Joseph Hall

So, is mainlining dog testosterone
working out well for you then?
~ Saint Joe Cosby

HellPopeHuey

Hope you don't try to get a job reviewing for a major newspaper anytime
soon.

HellPopeHuey wrote:
>
> I went to see that damned movie and PHEWWEEEE! what a stench. The
> acting is about as good as you could ask for, the effects are
> outstanding and the soundtrack was a cut above.
>
> However, the whole thing reeks of sniveling, emo-band breast-beating.
> There's no damned humor in it, a gross oversight and its essentially a
> giant chick-flick with none of the endearing attributes that rescue a
> certain number of them from terminal insipidity. Aside from the
> all-too-few super-power scenes, which do rock, its a buncha longing
> looks, melodramatic shticks and retreaded, RETARDED classic Superman
> sayings reworked so as not to offend the politically-correct
> puckerbutts. Its almost like Goethe's "The Sorrows of Young Werther" in
> red and blue tights.
>
> One of the biggest stinks is several visuals and bits of dialogue that
> are a revolting sop to the Christian crowd that keeps pressing us all
> forward into dynamic mediocrity. Its SUPERMAN, NOT ****ING DAMNED JESUS.
> You might as well press raccoon crap into discs as make DVDs of this
> wimptastic cod's wallop.
>
> The real offense of it is that it really TRIES to be a good flick and
> it has many of the overtones one would associate with same. It does flow
> well and a lot of obvious craft went into it, but it fails on so many
> counts, even a fanboy should be revolted. Its also 30 minutes too long.
> I knew it was a flop when I realized my mind had wandered enough to be
> thinking about dinner and whatever had my shoe stuck to the floor.
>
> "Batman Begins" had balls; "Superman Returns" has a floppy vagina.
>
> --
>

Bill

HellPopeHuey wrote:
>
> I went to see that damned movie and PHEWWEEEE!
> what a stench.

Hollywood can no longer make a Superman movie.

1) Showing a happy super-patriot who mouths patriotic
slogans and *means* it gives them a bleeding ulcer.
They equate that with everything they hate. It makes
their hair fall out and gums bleed like radiation
poisoning. Superman is a Kryptonese-American. He is
also a bigot and a xenophobe. And, if Superman ever
arrests somebody, he just drops them in a prison yard
and they are guilty. No trial or anything. They get
life, automatically, I guess.

2) Superman is a neuter. He doesn't want to boink
Lois Lane, ever, because to him that is the same as
beastiality. Plus, being an alien, he probably has a
barbed penis like a cat. He would rip out the uterus or
anus of any human female he porked.

3) To Hollywood, Superman can be Jesus. But a secular
one. He does all the miracles Jesus could do and more,
but he doesn't say you have to believe in god. In fact,
Superman is more of a god than god, because he will kick
your ass if you don't do what he tells you to do. No
other god does that.

4) Even back in the original Superman cartoon, it was
made with a socialist-realism look. I tell you, they
just cannot let Superman be Superman. In those old
cartoons, he looks like Uberman.

5) In the Christopher Reeve Superman, they laughed at
his patriotism, and were going great with his super
powers until they made him do the god thing. The movie
would have been a hell of a lot better with less super
powers. What villain can even have a chance fighting
god? If Lex Luthor had a henchman like Jackie Chan or
Cynthia Rothrock, who would ineffectively kung-fu the
**** out of him, but maybe knock him over with a sneaky
sledge hammer to the back of the head, it would have
been extra cool. And why not tip bullets with
kryptonite? Really put Superman's life at risk.

6) Nuclear weapons are for The Hulk, and guys like
that. The one superhero you *never* mix with nukes is
Superman. So of course, that is the one movie where
they use nukes. Dumbasses. Peter Parker was bit by a
radioactive spider, not some Monsanto DNA modded
agribusiness abomination.

7) Jimmy Olsen has got to be the most useless individual
ever. WTF is up with him?


--
Be Sure To Visit the 'SubGenius Reverend' Blog:
http://slackoff.blogspot.com/
***********
Herring communicate with each other
via a high-pitched, "raspberry"-like
sound emitted from their anuses.
These noises are not produced by
digestive gases.
-- from 'The New Scientist'

nu-monet v9.0

nu-monet v9.0 wrote:

>
> 7) Jimmy Olsen has got to be the most useless individual
> ever. WTF is up with him?


he's a tranvestite

Pope Philistine... ...or Something

"HellPopeHuey" <> wrote in message
news:%G7ug.66332$. net...
|
| I went to see that damned movie and PHEWWEEEE! what a stench. The
| acting is about as good as you could ask for, the effects are
| outstanding and the soundtrack was a cut above.
|
| However, the whole thing reeks of sniveling, emo-band breast-beating.
| There's no damned humor in it, a gross oversight and its essentially a
| giant chick-flick with none of the endearing attributes that rescue a
| certain number of them from terminal insipidity. Aside from the
| all-too-few super-power scenes, which do rock, its a buncha longing
| looks, melodramatic shticks and retreaded, RETARDED classic Superman
| sayings reworked so as not to offend the politically-correct
| puckerbutts. Its almost like Goethe's "The Sorrows of Young Werther" in
| red and blue tights.
|
| One of the biggest stinks is several visuals and bits of dialogue that
| are a revolting sop to the Christian crowd that keeps pressing us all
| forward into dynamic mediocrity. Its SUPERMAN, NOT ****ING DAMNED JESUS.
| You might as well press raccoon crap into discs as make DVDs of this
| wimptastic cod's wallop.
|
| The real offense of it is that it really TRIES to be a good flick and
| it has many of the overtones one would associate with same. It does flow
| well and a lot of obvious craft went into it, but it fails on so many
| counts, even a fanboy should be revolted. Its also 30 minutes too long.
| I knew it was a flop when I realized my mind had wandered enough to be
| thinking about dinner and whatever had my shoe stuck to the floor.
|
| "Batman Begins" had balls; "Superman Returns" has a floppy vagina.

Is that an 8", 5 1/4", or 3 1/2" floppy vagina?

| --
|
| HellPope Huey
| Simple Simon met a Pie man going to the fair.
| Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
| "What have you got there?"
| Said the Pie man unto Simon,
| "Pies, you dumb #$%!"
|
| A reputation once broken may possibly be repaired,
| but the world will always keep their eyes
| on the spot where the crack was.
| ~ Joseph Hall
|
| So, is mainlining dog testosterone
| working out well for you then?
| ~ Saint Joe Cosby
|

Ricardo MadGello

On Sat, 15 Jul 2006 09:16:55 -0700, "nu-monet v9.0"
<> wrote:

>HellPopeHuey wrote:
>>
>> I went to see that damned movie and PHEWWEEEE!
>> what a stench.
>
>Hollywood can no longer make a Superman movie.
>
>1) Showing a happy super-patriot who mouths patriotic
>slogans and *means* it gives them a bleeding ulcer.

Except of course that Superman wasn't particularly a one for mouthing
patriotic slogans in the first place.

David Johnston

"HellPopeHuey" <> wrote in message
news:%G7ug.66332$. net...
>
> I went to see that damned movie and PHEWWEEEE! what a stench. The
> acting is about as good as you could ask for, the effects are
> outstanding and the soundtrack was a cut above.
>
> However, the whole thing reeks of sniveling, emo-band breast-beating.
> There's no damned humor in it, a gross oversight and its essentially a
> giant chick-flick with none of the endearing attributes that rescue a
> certain number of them from terminal insipidity. Aside from the
> all-too-few super-power scenes, which do rock, its a buncha longing
> looks, melodramatic shticks and retreaded, RETARDED classic Superman
> sayings reworked so as not to offend the politically-correct
> puckerbutts. Its almost like Goethe's "The Sorrows of Young Werther" in
> red and blue tights.
>
> One of the biggest stinks is several visuals and bits of dialogue that
> are a revolting sop to the Christian crowd that keeps pressing us all
> forward into dynamic mediocrity. Its SUPERMAN, NOT ****ING DAMNED JESUS.

?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?

You think The Passion is mediocrity? How about The Climb or A Vow To
Cherish? How about Road to Redemption? How about Spiderman?

It is more like the Christian crowd pressing to keep sexual abuse, drug use,
and filthy language out! Christianity is ANYTHING but mediocre!

Mike Dobony

David Johnston wrote:
>
> Except of course that Superman wasn't particularly
> a one for mouthing patriotic slogans in the first
> place.


Superman fights for truth, justice and the American way.

He also hates Nazis, Communists, Anarchists and the
Japanese.

He encourages young men to enlist in the military.

He wants people to buy War Bonds.

He is really big on the American flag.


--
Be Sure To Visit the 'SubGenius Reverend' Blog:
http://slackoff.blogspot.com/
***********
Trust No One.
Always Look To The Skies.
The Truth Is Not There.
-- nu-monet

nu-monet v9.0

Yeah the Superman saga has a questionable history, anyway.

The guys who did the great art-deco style cartoons in the thirties used a
mad scientist character for their villain. They called him, coincidentally,
'Tesla"

At this point, Tesla was a destitue old guy living in a tenament, having
been ripped off by everyone from Marconi to Westinghouse.

Pretty ****ed up thing to do. He was probabloy the greatest inventive
thinker in applied technology of all time. We live in a world that sprung
from his imagination. Not somebody who should have been villified and
ridiculed by some dumbass with a jar of tempra paint.

scooter

nu-monet v9.0 wrote:
> David Johnston wrote:
> >
> > Except of course that Superman wasn't particularly
> > a one for mouthing patriotic slogans in the first
> > place.
>
>
> Superman fights for truth, justice and the American way.
>
> He also hates Nazis, Communists, Anarchists and the
> Japanese.
>
> He encourages young men to enlist in the military.
>
> He wants people to buy War Bonds.
>
> He is really big on the American flag.

Superman was also a union man. He originally fought against fatcats,
robber barons and other corporate ne'ever-do-wells, protecting the
rights of the common people.

The problem with Superman's power creep over the decades is that he's
become so powerful that the world of Superman's 2006 would have long
ago diverged from our current events, because Superman would've
intervened in international affairs. He'd be able to force people to
sit down and negotiate instead of blowing each other up. Even if he
couldn't stop every bad thing from happening, he'd certainly be keeping
a lid on the big stuff. Genocides, dictatorships, famines, that kind
of stuff would've been things he'd stop in their tracks. Some would
probably relate that to American imperialism, but really he'd just be
the world's cop since he was both anti-crime and anti-corporate from
the get-go. Bullies of every stripe have a nemesis in Superman.

Doug

trike