Velocity Reviews - Computer Hardware Reviews

Velocity Reviews > Newsgroups > Computing > DVD Video > House Of The Dead: The (Not) Horror, The (Not) Horror...

Reply
Thread Tools

House Of The Dead: The (Not) Horror, The (Not) Horror...

 
 
Peter Briggs
Guest
Posts: n/a
 
      02-17-2004
I just suffered throught this shambles tonight.

Before I say anything else: Mark Altman is a really nice guy. I met him
once at a friend's party in L.A. His publications have said glowing
things about my work. I think he's terrific. Super-nice.

Mark was a writer/producer on this movie.

I bought this flick, as the trailer (I thought) looked exceptional. I'm
generally very good at filtering trailers...but this one -- ?

The movie was bilge.

Aside from lighting (there's some beautifully lit shots in the film),
pretty-much EVERYTHING sucks on this DVD.

First thing discerning DVD-philes will get is the appalling sound mix.
I could barely unerstand half the dialogue, and at one point actually
zipped back, and switched on the subtitles (but it was to confirm a line
of dialogue SO moronic, that I could barely believe I'd heard it.)

Horrible script. No internal "zombie-logic", and the dialogue was an
affront to humanity (I cringed FOR Jurgen Prochnow at the shite-inducing
"U-boat" joke, which -- alongside a multitude of fanboy *******s --
permeates this....this....WASTE OF 90 MINUTES.) The music was okay.
TERRIBLY misconceived sequences. (What the **** were all those
"bullet-time" shots around the actors? Cyber-scans for bust-maquettes
that never got made???!!! And the inserts from the video game?!? When
they weren't looking incongruously cheesy, they made the live action
look poor! I could go on, almost ad-infinitum. The tit-shots, just
CLEARLY there for gratuitous reasons?? (Hey -- I love women's boobs,
but if you're going to show them, at least do it with a little
finesse!!!!) When poor old "Liberty" is geting chowed-down on...the
reaction shots??!? Hilarious!!!!)

The hot-tub featurette? If you're a drooling guy, or bisexual girl,
you'll...we

I'll say this once: AVOID.

And if you don't, and you like this total waste of space...PLEASE POST.
I'll look forward to rebutting you.

I liked this even less than "Lost In Translation"....

Mama Mia, Pizzeria --
 
Reply With Quote
 
 
 
 
Mike Kohary
Guest
Posts: n/a
 
      02-17-2004
"Peter Briggs" <pete@DIESPAMDIE!cinescribe.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
news:1g99x8f.pb6dyj1lzbqwvN%pete@DIESPAMDIE!cinesc ribe.demon.co.uk...
> I just suffered throught this shambles tonight.
>
> Before I say anything else: Mark Altman is a really nice guy. I met him
> once at a friend's party in L.A. His publications have said glowing
> things about my work. I think he's terrific. Super-nice.
>
> Mark was a writer/producer on this movie.
>
> I bought this flick, as the trailer (I thought) looked exceptional. I'm
> generally very good at filtering trailers...but this one -- ?
>
> The movie was bilge.


Don't you read reviews? The movie was universally panned, so the trailer
shouldn't have fooled you.

Mike

 
Reply With Quote
 
 
 
 
Richard
Guest
Posts: n/a
 
      02-17-2004
pete@DIESPAMDIE!cinescribe.demon.co.uk (Peter Briggs) wrote in message news:<1g99x8f.pb6dyj1lzbqwvN%pete@DIESPAMDIE!cines cribe.demon.co.uk>...
> I just suffered throught this shambles tonight.
>
> Before I say anything else: Mark Altman is a really nice guy. I met him
> once at a friend's party in L.A. His publications have said glowing
> things about my work. I think he's terrific. Super-nice.
>


Who cares? The movie was a piece of s--- made to sell piece of s---
video games. BTW; There is no "house." It's on an island.
-Rich
 
Reply With Quote
 
someone
Guest
Posts: n/a
 
      02-17-2004

On 17 Feb 2004 09:07:44 -0800, http://www.velocityreviews.com/forums/(E-Mail Removed) (Richard) posted:

>pete@DIESPAMDIE!cinescribe.demon.co.uk (Peter Briggs) wrote in message news:<1g99x8f.pb6dyj1lzbqwvN%pete@DIESPAMDIE!cines cribe.demon.co.uk>...
>> I just suffered throught this shambles tonight.
>>
>> Before I say anything else: Mark Altman is a really nice guy. I met him
>> once at a friend's party in L.A. His publications have said glowing
>> things about my work. I think he's terrific. Super-nice.
>>

>
>Who cares? The movie was a piece of s--- made to sell piece of s---
>video games. BTW; There is no "house." It's on an island.
>-Rich


wasn't there a house on that island?
 
Reply With Quote
 
Jay Stewart
Guest
Posts: n/a
 
      02-17-2004

"someone" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
news:(E-Mail Removed)...
>
> On 17 Feb 2004 09:07:44 -0800, (E-Mail Removed) (Richard) posted:
>
> >pete@DIESPAMDIE!cinescribe.demon.co.uk (Peter Briggs) wrote in message

news:<1g99x8f.pb6dyj1lzbqwvN%pete@DIESPAMDIE!cines cribe.demon.co.uk>...
> >> I just suffered throught this shambles tonight.
> >>
> >> Before I say anything else: Mark Altman is a really nice guy. I met

him
> >> once at a friend's party in L.A. His publications have said glowing
> >> things about my work. I think he's terrific. Super-nice.
> >>

> >
> >Who cares? The movie was a piece of s--- made to sell piece of s---
> >video games. BTW; There is no "house." It's on an island.
> >-Rich

>
> wasn't there a house on that island?


....or an island beneath the house?


 
Reply With Quote
 
Black Locust
Guest
Posts: n/a
 
      02-18-2004
In article
<1g99x8f.pb6dyj1lzbqwvN%pete@DIESPAMDIE!cinescribe .demon.co.uk>,
pete@DIESPAMDIE!cinescribe.demon.co.uk (Peter Briggs) wrote:

> I just suffered throught this shambles tonight.
>
> Before I say anything else: Mark Altman is a really nice guy. I met him
> once at a friend's party in L.A. His publications have said glowing
> things about my work. I think he's terrific. Super-nice.
>
> Mark was a writer/producer on this movie.
>
> I bought this flick, as the trailer (I thought) looked exceptional. I'm
> generally very good at filtering trailers...but this one -- ?
>
> The movie was bilge.


For once I agree with you on all accounts. This turd was unbelievably
bad, to the point that I became embarrassed that I was watching it and
no one even knew I was watching it! And I love zombie movies to boot,
but this was just pure trash and Fartisan should be damn ashamed of
themselves for giving this pile of crap the green light. I can't wait to
get the 3 disc Dawn of the Dead set in my hands to wash away the stench
of this pathetic excuse for a zombie movie.

The worst thing is they promise more House of the Dead movies are to
come... Lord save us all.
--
BL
 
Reply With Quote
 
McQualude
Guest
Posts: n/a
 
      02-18-2004
pete@DIESPAMDIE!cinescribe.demon.co.uk (Peter Briggs) said:

> And if you don't, and you like this total waste of space...PLEASE POST.
> I'll look forward to rebutting you.


Apparently you didn't read the reviews, nor have you played the video
game. The movie is shallow and cheesy... exactly like the game. I like
both of them.

--
McQualude
 
Reply With Quote
 
Peter Briggs
Guest
Posts: n/a
 
      02-18-2004
Mike Kohary <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote:

> Don't you read reviews? The movie was universally panned, so the trailer
> shouldn't have fooled you.


Not in this case, no....
 
Reply With Quote
 
Mike Kohary
Guest
Posts: n/a
 
      02-18-2004
"Peter Briggs" <pete@DIESPAMDIE!cinescribe.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
news:1g9d07j.18fgvzt15emed6N%pete@DIESPAMDIE!cines cribe.demon.co.uk...
> Mike Kohary <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote:
>
> > Don't you read reviews? The movie was universally panned, so the

trailer
> > shouldn't have fooled you.

>
> Not in this case, no....


Man, that's why I read reviews on everything, so I can avoid turkeys like
this (I love the video games, and would have been tempted to see the movie
were it not for the awful reviews it received).

Mike

 
Reply With Quote
 
Justin
Guest
Posts: n/a
 
      02-18-2004
Mike Kohary wrote on [Wed, 18 Feb 2004 13:28:33 -0800]:
> "Peter Briggs" <pete@DIESPAMDIE!cinescribe.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
> news:1g9d07j.18fgvzt15emed6N%pete@DIESPAMDIE!cines cribe.demon.co.uk...
>> Mike Kohary <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote:
>>
>> > Don't you read reviews? The movie was universally panned, so the

> trailer
>> > shouldn't have fooled you.

>>
>> Not in this case, no....

>
> Man, that's why I read reviews on everything, so I can avoid turkeys like
> this (I love the video games, and would have been tempted to see the movie
> were it not for the awful reviews it received).
>


Hell, I saw the trailer and didn't need to read the reviews.

Now, the Resident Evil sequel trailer is a different story
 
Reply With Quote
 
 
 
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Re: Same Old Message out of White House..."Our" House is Holding Firm hallerb@aol.com Digital Photography 11 09-07-2006 05:14 PM
My Graphics House unholy The Lounge 7 10-31-2005 06:33 AM
At a friend's house =?Utf-8?B?ZnJlZG0=?= Wireless Networking 2 07-26-2005 11:52 PM
how do i network my house? =?Utf-8?B?QWxiZXJ0?= Wireless Networking 1 07-17-2005 01:16 AM
wireless house network dropping connection across mapped drive Simon Sphynx Wireless Networking 0 01-15-2005 03:01 PM



Advertisments