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leica or panasonic?

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I wish to take nice photos of my penis.

Will this require a wide angle lens? My penis is very large. Will I be
better off with a Leica or a Panasonic camera. The coloring on my penis
is very subtle, and I think the Leica lens is the only one that can
capture its true beauty. Am I right?

Should I use film or digital?

If I use digital, should I use Canon or Nikon. I like Nikons, but I may
need 11 million pixels to truly capture my penis, which would mean a
Canon (what the **** is up Nikon.......step up to the plate!)

Which photo magazine whould I submit my penis photos to? American Photo
(which I liked better as American Photographer, but I REALLY liked the
old Camera Arts) or Shutterbug. I think American Photo would be more of
a feather in my cap, but I like the ads in Shutterbug.

Will I require autofocus? My penis may change its overall size during
the photo shoot, and I don't want to have to refocus the camera, but
because my penis is so large, I'm not sure if autofocus will be able to
take it all in, I mean twisting my wrist (when my hand isn't wrapped
around my penis!) is such a pain in the ass.

Because I love my penis so much, would I be better off with medium
format, or even large format? I would love a Hasselblad, but we all know
that they're just Fuji's with the price jacked up three times as much.
As a matter of fact, I heard on the usenet that the Leica M4 is now made
in China, and the lens is being made by Meade, the telescope people.
Does this make any of you mad? makes me mad.

Is the usenet a vast wasteland of useless knowledge? Will I truly be
able to take better penis photos by posting here?

Please help! I've spent my photo life telling myself I can't start
taking pictures (even of my penis) until I had just the right equipment,
which of course, I've never had. So even though I've bought thousands of
dollars worth of advertised junk, I've never shot a single frame of
film, or loaded a bevy of pixels onto some sort of card (of which the 6
or 8 different versions, none of which work in the others camera only
hold a few pictures before needing to run back to my computer).

Maybe I should just take my old Nikon FE out of the shoe box in the
closet, and begin using it. Perhaps I don't need a special camera to
take pictures of my penis.

I'm going to go buy some Plus-X it's equal to 25 million pixels, and I
already own the camera!!........................hello penis, it's
picture time!!!.
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