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Blonde Joke of the Week

 
 
Toolman Tim
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      10-30-2004
An herpetologist (snake expert) brought several snakes to
show a class at the local community college. A young,
brunette went up to him after the class to ask more about
the snakes. She wanted to know if he had ever been bitten
by a poisonous snake.

He said "Yep, several times. Most recently a rattler bit me
right here", and he showed the scar on his arm where the
snake had sunk it's fangs.

She looked at the man in awe and asked, "And you lived!?"

He looked at her, surprised, then grinned and said "You're
really a blonde, aren't you?"

--
"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where THEY
went."
~Will Rogers~


 
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docmill
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      10-30-2004
"Toolman Tim" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in
news:(E-Mail Removed):

> An herpetologist (snake expert) brought several snakes to
> show a class at the local community college. A young,
> brunette went up to him after the class to ask more about
> the snakes. She wanted to know if he had ever been bitten
> by a poisonous snake.
>
> He said "Yep, several times. Most recently a rattler bit me
> right here", and he showed the scar on his arm where the
> snake had sunk it's fangs.
>
> She looked at the man in awe and asked, "And you lived!?"
>
> He looked at her, surprised, then grinned and said "You're
> really a blonde, aren't you?"
>


A few weeks after my surgery, I went out to play catch with my golden
retriever. When I bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out.
The dog snatched it, and I found myself chasing him down the road yelling
"Hey, come back here with my breast!"
--Linda Ellerbee

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Immas Martass
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      10-30-2004
BEAR IN A BAR

A BEAR WALKS INTO A BAR IN BILLINGS, MONTANA

AND SITS DOWN. HE BANGS ON THE BAR

WITH HIS PAW AND DEMANDS A BEER.

THE BARTENDER APPROACHES AND SAYS,

"WE DON'T SERVE BEER TO BEARS IN BARS IN BILLINGS."

THE BEAR, BECOMING ANGRY, DEMANDS AGAIN

THAT HE BE SERVED A BEER.

THE BARTENDER TELLS HIM AGAIN, MORE FORCEFULLY,

"WE DON'T SERVE BEER TO BELLIGERENT

BEARS IN BARS IN BILLINGS."

THE BEAR, VERY ANGRY NOW, SAYS,

"IF YOU DON'T SERVE ME A BEER,

I'M GOING TO EAT THAT LADY SITTING AT

THE END OF THE BAR"

THE BARTENDER SAYS,

"SORRY, WE DON'T SERVE BEER TO BELLIGERENT,

BULLY BEARS IN BARS IN BILLINGS."

THE BEAR GOES TO THE END OF THE BAR, AND,

AS PROMISED, EATS THE WOMAN.

HE COMES BACK TO HIS SEAT AND AGAIN DEMANDS A BEER.

THE BARTENDER STATES,

"SORRY, WE DON'T SERVE BEE! R TO BELLIGERENT, BULLY

BEARS IN BAR IN BILLINGS WHO ARE ON DRUGS"

THE BEAR SAYS, "I'M NOT ON DRUGS."

YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS..........

/

/

/

/

THE BARTENDER SAYS,

"YOU ARE NOW.

THAT WAS A

BARBITCHYOUATE."

"Toolman Tim" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
news:(E-Mail Removed)...
> An herpetologist (snake expert) brought several snakes to
> show a class at the local community college. A young,
> brunette went up to him after the class to ask more about
> the snakes. She wanted to know if he had ever been bitten
> by a poisonous snake.
>
> He said "Yep, several times. Most recently a rattler bit me
> right here", and he showed the scar on his arm where the
> snake had sunk it's fangs.
>
> She looked at the man in awe and asked, "And you lived!?"
>
> He looked at her, surprised, then grinned and said "You're
> really a blonde, aren't you?"
>
> --
> "If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where THEY
> went."
> ~Will Rogers~
>
>



 
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docmill
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      10-30-2004
"Toolman Tim" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in
news:(E-Mail Removed):

> "If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where
> THEY went."
> ~Will Rogers~
>
>


Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog
would go in.
--Mark Twain

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DC
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      10-30-2004
Immas Martass wrote:
> BEAR IN A BAR


[...]

Too bad no one will bother even trying to read this crap.

http://vancouver-webpages.com/nnq/ncaps.html
http://www.kassj.com/netiquette/netiquette.html#1

--
DC Linux RU #1000111011000111001

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
 
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Immas Martass
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      10-30-2004
It was a copy and paste, dumbass

"DC" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
news:(E-Mail Removed).. .
> Immas Martass wrote:
> > BEAR IN A BAR

>
> [...]
>
> Too bad no one will bother even trying to read this crap.
>
> http://vancouver-webpages.com/nnq/ncaps.html
> http://www.kassj.com/netiquette/netiquette.html#1
>
> --
> DC Linux RU #1000111011000111001
>
> Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.



 
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Davy Pittman
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      10-30-2004
Immas Martass wrote:
> BEAR IN A BAR
>
> A BEAR


I'll stop there. ****ing caps-posting moron.


 
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Balli
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      10-30-2004
"Immas Martass" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in
news:(E-Mail Removed):

> It was a copy and paste, dumbass


Dumb ass!
 
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Immas Martass
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      10-30-2004
very good, now try 1+1=

"Balli" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
news:0lDgd.12370$(E-Mail Removed) link.net...
> "Immas Martass" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in
> news:(E-Mail Removed):
>
> > It was a copy and paste, dumbass

>
> Dumb ass!



 
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DC
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      10-30-2004
Immas Martass wrote:
> It was a copy and paste, dumbass


> "DC" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
> news:(E-Mail Removed).. .
>> Immas Martass wrote:
>> > BEAR IN A BAR


>> [...]


>> Too bad no one will bother even trying to read this crap.


>> http://vancouver-webpages.com/nnq/ncaps.html
>> http://www.kassj.com/netiquette/netiquette.html#1



So, *that's* your excuse? Dumbass.

--
DC Linux RU #1000111011000111001

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
 
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