«

To: undisclosed-recipients:
Subject: For the programmers among you: Top 12 Things A Klingon Programmer
Would Say

Top 12 Things A Klingon Programmer Would Say

12. Specifications are for the weak and timid!

11. This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if
I am to do battle with this code!

10. You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the
original Klingon.

9. Indentation?! -- I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!

8. What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software
'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers
and quality assurance people in its wake.

7. Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' -- they have
'arguments' -- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.

6. Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.

5. I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth
contest. They will not concern us again.

4. A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!

3. By filing this SPR you have challenged the honor of my family.
Prepare to die!

2. You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you
stand!

And finally, the most important thing a Klingon Programmer would say
about his/her code:

1. Our users will know fear and cower before our software. Ship it!
Ship it, and let them flee like the dogs they are!

mc
Live every day like it's your last...One day you'll be right!

You wanna be careful Mara doesn't pounce and report you for an unnecessary
posting to this NG. Mind you, she needs a constant stream of people to
report, otherwise she'd run out of things to do. She only seems to live for
telling people not to spam to the group. Talk about a boring life! Can you
imagine? Spending all your time on here and for the most part, moaning
about spamming and making witless comments. No wonder the internet is so
clogged up with people like her around.....blah blah blah
blah..................

gb

"Mavra Chang" <> wrote in message
news:IAMYb.44868$...
> To: undisclosed-recipients:
> Subject: For the programmers among you: Top 12 Things A Klingon Programmer
> Would Say
>
> Top 12 Things A Klingon Programmer Would Say
>
> 12. Specifications are for the weak and timid!
>
> 11. This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if
> I am to do battle with this code!
>
> 10. You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the
> original Klingon.
>
> 9. Indentation?! -- I will show you how to indent when I indent your
skull!
>
> 8. What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software
> 'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers
> and quality assurance people in its wake.
>
> 7. Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' -- they have
> 'arguments' -- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.
>
> 6. Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the
weak.
>
> 5. I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth
> contest. They will not concern us again.
>
> 4. A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!
>
> 3. By filing this SPR you have challenged the honor of my family.
> Prepare to die!
>
> 2. You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you
> stand!
>
> And finally, the most important thing a Klingon Programmer would say
> about his/her code:
>
> 1. Our users will know fear and cower before our software. Ship it!
> Ship it, and let them flee like the dogs they are!
>
> mc
> Live every day like it's your last...One day you'll be right!
>
>

X-No-Archive: Yes
On Wed, 18 Feb 2004 16:41:12 GMT, Mavra Chang wrote:

>To: undisclosed-recipients:
>Subject: For the programmers among you: Top 12 Things A Klingon Programmer
>Would Say
>
>Top 12 Things A Klingon Programmer Would Say
>
>12. Specifications are for the weak and timid!
>
<snip>

http://home.online.no/~ihoeglun/prog_guide.html

THE PROGRAMMER'S QUICK GUIDE TO THE LANGUAGES
TASK: Shoot yourself in the foot.
In various languages, C C++ Fortran Pascal ADA, 19 in total.

C: You shoot yourself in the foot

C++: You accidently create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot them
all in the foot. Providing emergency
medical assistance is impossible, since you can't tell which are bitwise
copies and which are just pointing
at others and saying, "That's me, over there."

FORTRAN: You shoot yourself in each toe, iterative, until you run out
of toes, then you read in next foot and repeat.
If you run out of bullets, you continue with the attempts to shoot
yourself anyways because you have no
exception-handling capability.

Pascal: The compiler won't let you shoot yourself in the foot.

More,

http://www.cs.man.ac.uk/~pjj/cs211/language.html
Humourous looks at programming languages

How to Determine Which Programming Language You're Using

Smalltalk
You spend so much time playing with the graphics and windowing
system that your boss shoots you in the foot, takes away your
workstation, and makes you develop in COBOL on a character terminal.


Me

Mavra Chang wrote:
[...]

> 8. What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software
> 'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers
> and quality assurance people in its wake.

> 7. Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' -- they have
> 'arguments' -- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.

ROTFLMAO!

[...]

Thanks for this. }:O)

--
DC Registered Linux User #1000111011000111001

Why I love Open Source: http://support.microsoft.com/?kbid=111601

gb wrote:

> You wanna be careful Mara doesn't pounce and report you for an
> unnecessary posting to this NG. Mind you, she needs a constant
> stream of people to report, otherwise she'd run out of things to do.

As opposed to some asshole that's got nothing better to do than
whine about another poster, like you, you useless ****?
--
"Do strong women give you nightmares about Mommy paddling your ass?"

On Wed, 18 Feb 2004 14:10:36 -0800, trout wrote:

>gb wrote:
>

<whine snipped>
> As opposed to some asshole that's got nothing better to do than
>whine about another poster, like you, you useless ****?

Do you have any idea who is this "gb" is and why it's whining? I don't recall
seeing the nic before, and don't see the original post.

Oh, wait a minute. Is this the same ****wit?

http://snipurl.com/4l4n

Or this?

http://snipurl.com/4l4o

Why yes, it is. That explains an awful lot, there. Explains why I didn't see it,
too.

Gutter slime.

>--
>"Do strong women give you nightmares about Mommy paddling your ass?"

Probably, along with women who don't read its moronic posts, since it's a
complete waste of time.

"It knows it doesn't matter - thus, the whining."

--
What we need are a couple of good hangings.
-- FTC Chairman Orson Swindle, on email spam

It always cheers me up to think you of all people have the audacity to utter
such words.

"trout" <> wrote in message
news:c10nt4$1crrsl$...
> gb wrote:
>
> > You wanna be careful Mara doesn't pounce and report you for an
> > unnecessary posting to this NG. Mind you, she needs a constant
> > stream of people to report, otherwise she'd run out of things to do.
>
> As opposed to some asshole that's got nothing better to do than
> whine about another poster, like you, you useless ****?
> --
> "Do strong women give you nightmares about Mommy paddling your ass?"
>
>

It was on Wed, 18 Feb 2004 17:45:39 -0600, just as I was halfway through a
large jam doughnut, that Mara wrote:

> On Wed, 18 Feb 2004 14:10:36 -0800, trout wrote:
>
>>gb wrote:
>>
>>
> <whine snipped>
>> As opposed to some asshole that's got nothing better to do than
>>whine about another poster, like you, you useless ****?
>
> Do you have any idea who is this "gb" is and why it's whining? I don't
> recall seeing the nic before, and don't see the original post.
>
> Oh, wait a minute. Is this the same ****wit?
>
> http://snipurl.com/4l4n
>
> Or this?
>
> http://snipurl.com/4l4o
>
> Why yes, it is. That explains an awful lot, there. Explains why I didn't
> see it, too.
>
> Gutter slime.
>
>>--
>>"Do strong women give you nightmares about Mommy paddling your ass?"
>
> Probably, along with women who don't read its moronic posts, since it's a
> complete waste of time.
>
> "It knows it doesn't matter - thus, the whining."

It's been in my bitbucket for a while now, along with JimPkP. They can
whine at each other.

--
Linux User #: 305646.
SuSE Linux Pro 9.0
No M$, No viruses, NO problems!

On Thu, 19 Feb 2004 01:31:39 +0000, William Poaster wrote:

>It was on Wed, 18 Feb 2004 17:45:39 -0600, just as I was halfway through a
>large jam doughnut, that Mara wrote:

<snip>
>> Probably, along with women who don't read its moronic posts, since it's a
>> complete waste of time.
>>
>> "It knows it doesn't matter - thus, the whining."
>
>It's been in my bitbucket for a while now, along with JimPkP. They can
>whine at each other.

Did you find it amusing that Jim PKP jumped right on the ol' bandwagon until
trout replied to him, and then suddenly back off? Especially since "gb" was
simply doing the exact same thing that Jim PKP has done himself, in the past?

I know I did.

You know, I believe it's people with that kind of attitude that are responsible
for this kind of thing:

http://www.dailystar.com/dailystar/news/10230.php
(Get it while it's hot, won't be up long)

But it's the ones who fight spam that help to bring about this:

http://thewhir.com/marketwatch/foo021604.cfm

and this:

http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=e...%40trelane.net

or

http://snipurl.com/4l76

"The choice seems simple enough to me. "

--
What we need are a couple of good hangings.
-- FTC Chairman Orson Swindle, on email spam

gb wrote:

> It always cheers me up to think you of all people have the audacity
> to utter such words.

Considering your apparent mental age; I imagine dangling car-keys or
an offer of candy makes you equally happy.
--
"Yappy little twit."