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Why do we need nursing homes?

 
 
Phil B.
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      01-16-2004
Holiday Inn or Nursing Home...............

With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching $188.00, there is
a better way when we get old & feeble. I have already checked on
reservations at the Holiday Inn for a combined long term stay discount and
senior discount of $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for:

1. Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service.

2. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. Plus, they provide a
swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free
toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.

3. They treat you like a customer, not a patient. $5 worth of tips a day
will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

4. There is a city Bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.
The Handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).

5. To meet other nice people, call a Church bus on Sundays.

6. For a change of scenery, take the Airport shuttle Bus and eat at one of
the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere.
Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

7. It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take
your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever, you can
move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.

8. Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too.

9. TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No
problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.

10. The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid
checks to see if you are ok. If not, they will call the undertaker or an
ambulance.

11. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday
Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life. And no worries
about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and
probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.

12. The grandkids can use the pool. What more can you ask for?

 
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slumpy
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      01-16-2004
Voicing an opinion as worthless as a wino at a wedding, Phil B.
postulated...

> Holiday Inn or Nursing Home...............


> 10. The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The
> maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they will call the
> undertaker or an ambulance.


Not in that order though hopefully ?
--
slumpy
A tip for the Scott Lifshine: Unskilled and Unaware of It - How Difficulties
in
Recognizing One's Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments
http://www.apa.org/journals/psp/psp7761121.html


 
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Patch
Guest
Posts: n/a
 
      01-16-2004

"Phil B." <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
news:NDVNb.49143$(E-Mail Removed)...
> Holiday Inn or Nursing Home...............
>
> With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching $188.00, there

is
> a better way when we get old & feeble. I have already checked on
> reservations at the Holiday Inn for a combined long term stay discount and
> senior discount of $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for:
>
> 1. Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service.
>
> 2. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. Plus, they provide a
> swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have

free
> toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.
>
> 3. They treat you like a customer, not a patient. $5 worth of tips a day
> will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
>
> 4. There is a city Bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.
> The Handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).
>
> 5. To meet other nice people, call a Church bus on Sundays.
>
> 6. For a change of scenery, take the Airport shuttle Bus and eat at one

of
> the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere.
> Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.
>
> 7. It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will

take
> your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever, you

can
> move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.
>
> 8. Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too.
>
> 9. TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No
> problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.
>
> 10. The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid
> checks to see if you are ok. If not, they will call the undertaker or an
> ambulance.
>
> 11. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and

Holiday
> Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life. And no worries
> about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and
> probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.
>
> 12. The grandkids can use the pool. What more can you ask for?
>
> .
>
>
>
> When you **** yourself, who's going to come in and clean you up?



 
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Juan Pérez
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Posts: n/a
 
      01-17-2004

Patch <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote:
>
> "Phil B." <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote:
> > Holiday Inn or Nursing Home...............

<super clip>
> >
> > 12. The grandkids can use the pool. What more can you ask for?


> > When you **** yourself, who's going to come in and clean you up?

>

Jump in the pool with the grandkids?


 
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