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A tale for a cold winter's night

 
 
IC
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      12-10-2003

Green garden grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not just
rattlesnakes. Here's a tale for a cold winter's night.

A couple in Sweetwater, Texas, had a lot of potted plants, and during a
recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to
protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one
of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife
saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream.

The husband, who was taking a shower, ran out into the living room naked
to see what the problem was.

She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor
on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog
came and cold nosed him on the rear. He thought the snake had bitten him
and he fainted.

His wife thought he had a heart attack; so she called an ambulance. The
attendants rushed in and loaded him on the stretcher and started
carrying him out. About that time the snake came out from under the sofa
and one of the Emergency Medical Technicians saw it and dropped his end
of the stretcher.

That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house; so she called
on a neighbor man, who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed
himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.
Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa
in relief.

But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushion where she felt
the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed
back under the sofa, and the neighbor man, seeing her laying there
passed out tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery
store, came looking for her husband and saw his mouth on the woman's
mouth and slammed her husband on the back of the head with a bag of
canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it
needed stitches.

An ambulance was again called when it was determined that the injury
required hospitalization.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor
lying on the floor with his wife bending over him; so she assumed he had
been bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a small
bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the
whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about
to arrest them all, when the two women tried to explain how it all
happened over a little green snake.

The ambulance arrived and took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

Just then the little snake crawled out from under the couch. One of the
policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the
leg of the end table that was on one side of the sofa. The table fell
over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke, it started a
fire in the drapes.

Another policeman tried to beat out the flames and fell through the
window into the yard on top of the family dog. The startled dog jumped
up and raced out into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to
avoid it and smashed into the parked police car and set it on fire.

Meanwhile, the burning drapes had spread to the walls and the entire
house was blazing. Neighbors called the fire department and the arriving
fire truck started raising his ladder when they were halfway down the
street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and pulled out the
electricity and disconnected telephones in a ten-square city block area.

Time passed....

Both men were discharged from the hospital. The house was rebuilt. The
police acquired a new car, and all was right with the world.

About a year later the original couple were watching TV and the
weatherman announced a cold snap for that night.

The husband asked his wife if she thought they should bring in their
plants for the night.

She shot him.




 
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Patrick
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      12-10-2003
IC wrote:
> Green garden grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not
> just rattlesnakes. Here's a tale for a cold winter's night.
>


[Most of jolly story snipped]

> She shot him.


But what happened to 'Snakee' ?

--
I suggest, that you just ignore me !


 
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Daddy xmas
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      12-10-2003
brillianto....keep it up..happy xmas


 
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ziggy
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      12-10-2003
"Daddy xmas" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in news:7eJBb.319
$(E-Mail Removed):

> brillianto....keep it up..happy xmas
>
>
>


Thank you! Best laugh I've had in ages!

ziggy
 
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Classic 42
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      12-10-2003

"ziggy" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in message
news:br7nsf$9p1m$(E-Mail Removed)-berlin.de...
> "Daddy xmas" <(E-Mail Removed)> wrote in news:7eJBb.319
> $(E-Mail Removed):
>
> > brillianto....keep it up..happy xmas
> >
> >
> >

>
> Thank you! Best laugh I've had in ages!


Classic!!!!!

Thanks.
Classic 42
>
> ziggy



 
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Thund3rstruck
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      12-11-2003
IC Spilled my beer when they jumped on the table and proclaimed in
<1GIBb.1798$(E-Mail Removed)> :

>
> Green garden grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not
> just rattlesnakes. Here's a tale for a cold winter's night.


<Swipe!> (Thanks)

NOI
 
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Gary G. Taylor
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      12-11-2003
IC wrote:

>
> Green garden grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not just
> rattlesnakes. Here's a tale for a cold winter's night.


[schnippen]

http://www.snopes.com/critters/farce/hindlick.htm
--
Gary G. Taylor * Rialto, CA
gary at donavan dot org / http:// geetee dot donavan dot org
"The two most abundant things in the universe
are hydrogen and stupidity." --Harlan Ellison
 
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