"So, Mr Slumpy you *really* are the perpetual comedian, aren't you ?" I
threw back my head and roared with laughter as John cuddeford continued:
> Miss Marie Jones
> 103 Aylesbury Crescent
> Whitleigh
> Plymouth
> PL5 4HX
>
>
> Plymouth City Council
> Housing Department
> Plymouth
>
> 20 August 2003
>
> REF LETTER DATED 19 8 03
>
> Dear Mr Vjay,
> May I explain why I was evicted from 99 Shrewsbury Rd Whitleigh, my
> boyfriend was off sick from his work for a number of weeks and we
> were in the procedes of sorting his sick pay out when in the meantime
> the landlady who was living in London with her boyfriend informed us
> she had split from her relationship and needed her flat back as she
> had moved back to Plymouth was homeless and staying with friends,we
> never had the chance to sort our financial affairs out as she gave us
> a months notice there and then.my boyfriend is now back at full time
> work and has fully recovered his health. Yours
> faithfully
>
>
> MISS MARIE JONES
Dear Miss Jones
We have consulted the various parties involved and have found some glaring
omissions from your statement.
Firstly your boyfriend was not exactly 'off sick', more a case of recovering
from attempted suicide after drinking a bottle of bleach and injecting
himself with 25 doses of LSD-25. Also there seems some confusion over his
name, 'Francesca Marie Dupont'.
Secondly, your Landlady claims you were instrumental in the breakdown of her
relationship after you hid in their bedroom and filmed them having sex with
a total stranger, posted the clips on Usenet and made her name and address
public.
Thirdly she did not need the premises for herself, she was just trying to
get you out of her house and away from her for good.
As far as the housing department is concerned you have been 100% responsible
for your predicament, and the best we can offer is a tent in a field just
outside Norwich.
Yours
Plymouth Hopeless Unit.
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