"Slumpy" <> wrote in message
news:bd6vjb$or96o$...
> "So, Mr Slumpy you *really* are the perpetual comedian, aren't you
?" I
> threw back my head and roared with laughter as DaveG continued:
>
> > It's pronounced GIG as in GIG.
> > A JIG,NO!!
> > GIG.
> > Don't let no one tell you different.
> > I HATE those people that cannot use the word SPECIFIC.
> > Instead they say PACIFIC,how retarded is that?
> > SPECIFIC.
> > PACIFIC.
> > Let me make this clear-
> > SPECIFIC.
> > PACIFIC.
> > ??????
> > I had a boss that used the word PACIFIC when he should have been
> > saying SPECIFIC.
> > I told him it was an ocean,it made no difference.
> > He was my boss,I was supposed to respect the guy.
> > What a ****ing idiot.
> > Now I have a boss that thinks "Lamb Bhuna" is a ****ing drink.
> > I had to explain it was an Indian dish.
> > I am supposed to respect the guy.
> > What a ****ing idiot.He is 31 years old.
>
> LMAO!!!
> I knew another guy who always said his business would grow
'expiditely' (I
> really have no idea what word he thought he was using). Funny thing
is, it
> was a transport/haulage company
LOL!(????????)-that is a strange one!
Slight change of tack-
On holiday in Cannes many years ago,drinking in a bar we get talking
to an English guy who claims to be Bernard "Bootiful!" Matthews(the
Turkey processing guy) personal valet.
He bought us Guiness all night at £5 a pint,this was in 1992.
My friend,after a few Guiness says to him "go on then tell us a
joke,go on,you must know loads working for him,he must tell you loads
all the time,I'll bet it's dead funny working for him"
We both look on bemused.
He won't relent and keeps asking for a joke,finally I say to my friend
"WTF are you on about jokes all the time for??"
Somehow he'd managed to picture Bernard Manning when the guy mentioned
Bernard Matthews.
Several years later the same friend is on leave from the Royal Navy
and comes back up north for the weekend after months at sea on a
transatlantic "tour" or whatever they refer to them as.
He tells us he's been to New York and out boozing with some celeb' he
can't remember the name of "he bought us drinks all night,wouldn't let
us out the bar-we were all rotten drunk etc etc"
"Who was the person you were out with then,what was his name?"
He can't remember at all-"you know,he's always out getting
drunk,causing mayhem,terrible
drinker...er........er............er...... you
know.........whatshisname.........er yeah,that's it YEAH I remember
now.....OSCAR WILDE!"
ROFL!
He totally convinced himself he was right he never,knew what he'd said
until weeks later when we explained.
He meant Oliver Reed.
He got really upset when I bought him a birthday present of Richard
Ellmann's Wilde biography later that year.
My mate was drinking heavily at the time and the Navy doctors told him
to pack in for the sake of his health.
Which thankfully he did.
--
ATB-DaveG
To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.