I'm having trouble making farting sounds with my hands
 

I've tried licking my palms to get that "fresh squeezed" sound, nada. I
put them under my armpits and can't get no satisfaction. I want to be
able to play the Star Spangled Banner for the Fourth at the local
celebration but so far it's not going well. Suggestions?

Re: I'm having trouble making farting sounds with my hands
 

On Tue, 03 Jul 2007 06:49:56 -0400, Rôgêr <abuse@your.isp.com> wrote:

>I've tried licking my palms to get that "fresh squeezed" sound, nada. I
>put them under my armpits and can't get no satisfaction. I want to be
>able to play the Star Spangled Banner for the Fourth at the local
>celebration but so far it's not going well. Suggestions?

Crisco. Not the oil, the solid.

--
Should Redmond fall, I imagine a brief period of panic when everyone
finds out they can't call Microsoft for support any more, followed by
the realization that calling Microsoft for support never did much for
them anyway. --S.V, in The Monastery

Re: I'm having trouble making farting sounds with my hands
 

On Tue, 03 Jul 2007 06:54:19 -0500, Mara wrote:

> On Tue, 03 Jul 2007 06:49:56 -0400, Rôgêr <abuse@your.isp.com> wrote:
>
>>I've tried licking my palms to get that "fresh squeezed" sound, nada. I
>>put them under my armpits and can't get no satisfaction. I want to be
>>able to play the Star Spangled Banner for the Fourth at the local
>>celebration but so far it's not going well. Suggestions?
>
> Crisco. Not the oil, the solid.

10 Points for the sig, 0 points for the crisco. My wife's hand cream
is much better.

Top

--
The best thing you can give your children can't be bought.

Re: I'm having trouble making farting sounds with my hands
 

"Rôgêr" <abuse@your.isp.com> wrote in message
news:x-OdnWn0DI92tBfbnZ2dnUVZ_jydnZ2d@pghconnect.com...
> I've tried licking my palms to get that "fresh squeezed" sound, nada. I
> put them under my armpits and can't get no satisfaction. I want to be able
> to play the Star Spangled Banner for the Fourth at the local celebration
> but so far it's not going well. Suggestions?

How about checking yourself into the asylum before the 4th?

Re: I'm having trouble making farting sounds with my hands
 

On Tue, 03 Jul 2007 14:08:45 -0400, Top <topretired@retiredneo.rr.com> wrote:

>On Tue, 03 Jul 2007 06:54:19 -0500, Mara wrote:
>
>> On Tue, 03 Jul 2007 06:49:56 -0400, Rôgêr <abuse@your.isp.com> wrote:
>>
>>>I've tried licking my palms to get that "fresh squeezed" sound, nada. I
>>>put them under my armpits and can't get no satisfaction. I want to be
>>>able to play the Star Spangled Banner for the Fourth at the local
>>>celebration but so far it's not going well. Suggestions?
>>
>> Crisco. Not the oil, the solid.
>
>10 Points for the sig, 0 points for the crisco. My wife's hand cream
>is much better.

Possibly so, but there's a reason I suggested Crisco. Just ask Rôgêr.

>Top

--
Should Redmond fall, I imagine a brief period of panic when everyone
finds out they can't call Microsoft for support any more, followed by
the realization that calling Microsoft for support never did much for
them anyway. --S.V, in The Monastery

Re: I'm having trouble making farting sounds with my hands
 

On Tue, 03 Jul 2007 17:53:20 -0500, Mara wrote:

> On Tue, 03 Jul 2007 14:08:45 -0400, Top <topretired@retiredneo.rr.com> wrote:
>
>>On Tue, 03 Jul 2007 06:54:19 -0500, Mara wrote:
>>
>>> On Tue, 03 Jul 2007 06:49:56 -0400, Rôgêr <abuse@your.isp.com> wrote:
>>>
>>>>I've tried licking my palms to get that "fresh squeezed" sound, nada. I
>>>>put them under my armpits and can't get no satisfaction. I want to be
>>>>able to play the Star Spangled Banner for the Fourth at the local
>>>>celebration but so far it's not going well. Suggestions?
>>>
>>> Crisco. Not the oil, the solid.
>>
>>10 Points for the sig, 0 points for the crisco. My wife's hand cream
>>is much better.
>
> Possibly so, but there's a reason I suggested Crisco. Just ask Rôgêr.
>

Something tells me I might not want to know. lol

--
The best thing you can give your children can't be bought.

Re: I'm having trouble making farting sounds with my hands
 

Top wrote:
> On Tue, 03 Jul 2007 17:53:20 -0500, Mara wrote:
>
>
>>On Tue, 03 Jul 2007 14:08:45 -0400, Top <topretired@retiredneo.rr.com> wrote:
>>
>>
>>>On Tue, 03 Jul 2007 06:54:19 -0500, Mara wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>>On Tue, 03 Jul 2007 06:49:56 -0400, Rôgêr <abuse@your.isp.com> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>>I've tried licking my palms to get that "fresh squeezed" sound, nada. I
>>>>>put them under my armpits and can't get no satisfaction. I want to be
>>>>>able to play the Star Spangled Banner for the Fourth at the local
>>>>>celebration but so far it's not going well. Suggestions?
>>>>
>>>>Crisco. Not the oil, the solid.
>>>
>>>10 Points for the sig, 0 points for the crisco. My wife's hand cream
>>>is much better.
>>
>>Possibly so, but there's a reason I suggested Crisco. Just ask Rôgêr.
>>
>
>
> Something tells me I might not want to know. lol
>
I've never advocated the use of Crisco, notwithstanding the accusations
flung by one certain Mara. But it's not a bad idea.

Re: I'm having trouble making farting sounds with my hands
 

On Tue, 03 Jul 2007 22:36:21 -0400, Rôgêr <abuse@your.isp.com> wrote:

>Top wrote:
>> On Tue, 03 Jul 2007 17:53:20 -0500, Mara wrote:

<snip>
>>>Possibly so, but there's a reason I suggested Crisco. Just ask Rôgêr.
>>>
>>
>>
>> Something tells me I might not want to know. lol
>>
>I've never advocated the use of Crisco, notwithstanding the accusations
>flung by one certain Mara. But it's not a bad idea.

I realise you'd prefer the oil over the solid, for obvious reasons, but for the
purposes you stated the solid would work much better.

--
Should Redmond fall, I imagine a brief period of panic when everyone
finds out they can't call Microsoft for support any more, followed by
the realization that calling Microsoft for support never did much for
them anyway. --S.V, in The Monastery