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-   -   OT: Friday Funny (http://www.velocityreviews.com/forums/t48743-ot-friday-funny.html)

=?iso-8859-1?Q?Frisbee=AE_MCNGP?= 02-27-2004 03:46 PM

OT: Friday Funny
 
Found this gem in The Cert Times newsletter today.

Ed Note: Supposedly an actual letter of resignation from an employee at
Zantex Computers, USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon
afterwards!


Dear Mr. Baker,

As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a
few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors
have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your
consistent and annoying harassment of my coworkers and me during the
commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few
true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little
nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is
not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired
because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently
hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you
vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the
hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly
simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never
understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you,
even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an
IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.

You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for
fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may
have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have
responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent
will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution,
you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers
like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is
unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I
am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.
1.. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is
illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to
hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you
over the next couple of years to keep you honest ,because I know you would
be unable to do it on your own.
2.. I have all the passwords to every account on the system,
and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you
decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I
conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do
believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the
administration.
3.. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of
your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to
take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them
like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen
such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been
copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of
recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct
your mistakes.)
Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of
recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody,
and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the
public.

Never f--- with your systems administrator. Why? Because they
know what you do with all that free time!

Wishing you a grand and glorious day,

Cecelia



--
Fris "Cecelia... you're breakin' my heart" beeŽ, MCNGP #13

Certaholics
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/certaholics


Ken Briscoe 02-27-2004 05:00 PM

Re: Friday Funny
 
> Ed Note: Supposedly an actual letter of resignation from an employee at
> Zantex Computers, USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon
> afterwards!


<snip>

You think? I have a hard time believing this is real. But funny nonetheless.

--

KB - MCNGP "silent thug" #26

first initial last name AT hotmail DOT com



JaR 02-27-2004 05:24 PM

Re: OT: Friday Funny
 
FrisbeeŽ MCNGP opined, On 2/27/04 7:46 AM:

> Found this gem in The Cert Times newsletter today.
>
> Ed Note: Supposedly an actual letter of resignation from an employee at
> Zantex Computers, USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon
> afterwards!
>
>
> Dear Mr. Baker,
>
> As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a
> few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors


<Hilarity Snipped>

I've seen this one several times, every one with different names. Still
hilarious, though.

JaR

Larry Samuels 02-28-2004 01:05 AM

Re: Friday Funny
 
And now, the rest of the story:
http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/zantex.asp

--
Larry Samuels MS-MVP (Windows-Shell/User)
Associate Expert
Unofficial FAQ for Windows Server 2003 at
http://pelos.us/SERVER.htm
Expert Zone - www.microsoft.com/windowsxp/expertzone
"Ken Briscoe" <youcant@sendmespam.com> wrote in message
news:%23pX%23oMV$DHA.3828@TK2MSFTNGP10.phx.gbl...
> > Ed Note: Supposedly an actual letter of resignation from an employee at
> > Zantex Computers, USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon
> > afterwards!

>
> <snip>
>
> You think? I have a hard time believing this is real. But funny

nonetheless.
>
> --
>
> KB - MCNGP "silent thug" #26
>
> first initial last name AT hotmail DOT com
>
>




Network Guru 02-28-2004 03:18 AM

Re: Friday Funny
 
Frisbee,

That was soooo funny. Thank you for sharing it. You are hilarious. Do
you ever have time to take a work break from newgroup posting and smoking?

"FrisbeeŽ MCNGP" <billLASTINIT@dasi-software.com> wrote in message
news:OkP1pjU$DHA.2800@tk2msftngp13.phx.gbl...
> Found this gem in The Cert Times newsletter today.
>
> Ed Note: Supposedly an actual letter of resignation from an employee at
> Zantex Computers, USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon
> afterwards!
>
>
> Dear Mr. Baker,
>
> As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a
> few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors
> have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your
> consistent and annoying harassment of my coworkers and me during the
> commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few
> true genetic wastes of our time.
>
> Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little
> nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is
> not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired
> because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently
> hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you
> vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the
> hundredth time.
>
> You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly
> simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never
> understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to

you,
> even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what

an
> IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.
>
> You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for
> fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may
> have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have
> responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent
> will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial

evolution,
> you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at.

Managers
> like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is
> unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I
> am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.
> 1.. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is
> illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to
> hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call

you
> over the next couple of years to keep you honest ,because I know you would
> be unable to do it on your own.
> 2.. I have all the passwords to every account on the system,
> and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you
> decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I
> conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do
> believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the
> administration.
> 3.. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures

of
> your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to
> take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase

them
> like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen
> such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been
> copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter

of
> recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct
> your mistakes.)
> Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of
> recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to

anybody,
> and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the
> public.
>
> Never f--- with your systems administrator. Why? Because they
> know what you do with all that free time!
>
> Wishing you a grand and glorious day,
>
> Cecelia
>
>
>
> --
> Fris "Cecelia... you're breakin' my heart" beeŽ, MCNGP #13
>
> Certaholics
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/certaholics
>




The Poster Formerly Known as Kline Sphere 02-28-2004 11:13 AM

Re: OT: Friday Funny
 
>I've seen this one several times, every one with different names. Still
>hilarious, though.


It is NOT hilarious. I never did any of those things she said I
did.... Oh wait, I see, 'different names', forget what I just said
[please!].

Kline Sphere (Chalk) MCNGP #3

Network Guru 02-28-2004 04:11 PM

Re: Friday Funny
 

"FrisbeeŽ MCNGP" <billLASTINIT@dasi-software.com> wrote in message
news:OkP1pjU$DHA.2800@tk2msftngp13.phx.gbl...
> Found this gem in The Cert Times newsletter today.
>
> Ed Note: Supposedly an actual letter of resignation from an employee at
> Zantex Computers, USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon
> afterwards!
>


<snip>

That has been circulating for quite some time. It is a magnanimous gesture
of you to post your wisdom to the newsgroups throughout the day. Do you
ever have time to take a work break from your newsgroup and smoking
activities?



Ken Briscoe 02-28-2004 05:13 PM

Re: Friday Funny
 
> That has been circulating for quite some time. It is a magnanimous
gesture
> of you to post your wisdom to the newsgroups throughout the day. Do you
> ever have time to take a work break from your newsgroup and smoking
> activities?



You were doing good for a while, too. Now you're back to your old self. It's
a shame, actually.

--


KB - MCNGP "silent thug" #26

first initial last name AT hotmail DOT com


---
Virus? In the computer? Are you serious?
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.598 / Virus Database: 380 - Release Date: 2/28/2004




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