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-   -   GIGLI: Terrible, But No Train Wreck. (http://www.velocityreviews.com/forums/t264081-gigli-terrible-but-no-train-wreck.html)

Scot Gardner 11-11-2003 04:00 AM

GIGLI: Terrible, But No Train Wreck.
 
Is _Gigli_ one of the worst movies ever made? Unfortunately, no.

It's terrible, but it isn't dreadful. Therefore, it isn't bad enough to
become a cult classic, like _Plan 9 From Outer Space_ or _Attack of the
Killer Tomatoes_.

The theatrical proceeds amounted to around 10% of the $55 million cost
of making _Gigli_. Maybe the home video proceeds will recover another
10%.

The VHS review is in:

DRAMA
121 min., R (mature themes, language, profanity, sexual situations), VHS
rental, DVD $26.98
DVD: no extras
Street: Dec. 9, Prebook: Nov. 18
First Run: W, July 2003, $5.6 mil.
Cast: Ben Affleck (The Sum of All Fears),
Jennifer Lopez (The Cell),
Justin Bartha, Lenny Venito (Men in Black II),
Christopher Walken (Catch Me If You Can),
Al Pacino (Heat)
Director: Martin Brest
COLUMBIA TRISTAR

Story Line: Los Angeles crime boss Louis (Venito) assigns cocky Larry
Gigli (Affleck) to kidnap Brian (Bartha), the mentally challenged kid
brother of a prosecuting attorney going after the Mob. Unsure of Larry's
abilities to handle the job, Louis sends beautiful hit woman Ricki
(Lopez) to join him on his assignment. Eventually, Larry falls in love
with Ricki--but she's a lesbian.
Bottom Line: The movie that nobody could pronounce became the movie that
nobody went to see: prompting disastrous reviews and unending bad
publicity. Gigli tanked at the box-office, bringing in slightly less
than $6 million on a $55 million budget. Curiosity seekers will no doubt
be interested to find out if the film is as notoriously bad as reported.
The answer is a definitive "no." The film is too low-key and, well,
likable to be so atrocious. Sure, there are some dead spots, the cameos
by Walken and Pacino seem to have come from other films and the plot,
ultimately, has no pay-off. However, the chemistry between the two leads
is definitely there, some of the dialog is snappy and the ending
involving the kidnapped kid is genuinely affecting. So, the video
arrival of Gigli will no doubt please Ben and J-Lo fans, but those
expecting a train wreck of epic proportions might be in for a
surprise--pleasant or unpleasant depending upon their
expectations. --Irv Slifkin

http://www.videobusiness.com/article...D=6480&catID=8



Derek Janssen 11-11-2003 07:45 AM

Re: GIGLI: Terrible, But No Train Wreck.
 
Scot Gardner wrote:
> Is _Gigli_ one of the worst movies ever made? Unfortunately, no.
>
> It's terrible, but it isn't dreadful.


....Well, gosh. THAT'S ungrounding. 0_0

Gee--Maybe it really *was* a bunch of 18-24's beating one lame
annoyed-with-celebrity-culture gag six miles into the ground sight
unseen--and then doing Riverdances on its grave after mediocre reviews
and a low box office from inscrutable mismarketing validated their
tantrums and "proved" how bad it was--causing it to become the
unresearched gag-bandwagon stuff of Jay Leno routines for the next six
months...
Ohh, WHAT has happened to all our cherished beliefs??

Derek Janssen (who *already* had to go through this same overboard crap
when "Roberto Benigni's 'Pinocchio'" came out, so don't even start)
djanss@rcn.com


Metlhd3138 11-11-2003 07:19 PM

Re: GIGLI: Terrible, But No Train Wreck.
 
>It's terrible, but it isn't dreadful. Therefore, it isn't bad enough to
>become a cult classic, like _Plan 9 From Outer Space_ or _Attack of the
>Killer Tomatoes_.


"Killer Tomatoes" was SUPPOSED to be bad,,it was a parody of 60s-70s b-movies.

jayembee 11-11-2003 09:15 PM

Re: GIGLI: Terrible, But No Train Wreck.
 
metlhd3138@aol.com (Metlhd3138) wrote:

>>It's terrible, but it isn't dreadful. Therefore, it isn't bad enough
>>to become a cult classic, like _Plan 9 From Outer Space_ or
>> _Attack of the Killer Tomatoes_.

>
>"Killer Tomatoes" was SUPPOSED to be bad,,it was a parody
>of 60s-70s b-movies.


One of my favorite review comments was for AotKT in, I believe,
CINEFANTASTIQUE, which went "When a movie deliberately sets out to be
bad, can you really blame it if it succeeds?"

-- jayembee

Derek Janssen 11-11-2003 09:53 PM

Re: GIGLI: Terrible, But No Train Wreck.
 
jayembee wrote:

>>>It's terrible, but it isn't dreadful. Therefore, it isn't bad enough
>>>to become a cult classic, like _Plan 9 From Outer Space_ or
>>>_Attack of the Killer Tomatoes_.

>>
>>"Killer Tomatoes" was SUPPOSED to be bad,,it was a parody
>>of 60s-70s b-movies.

>
> One of my favorite review comments was for AotKT in, I believe,
> CINEFANTASTIQUE, which went "When a movie deliberately sets out to be
> bad, can you really blame it if it succeeds?"


Well, then you have to get into *degrees* of badness--
For example, how would you differentiate, say, a movie that was trying
to be serious and was hilarious, and a movie that was trying to be funny
and crashed through the floor like a cheaply garage-made brick?

(Besides, you can singlehandedly blame AotKT for the California
Energy-Deregulation crisis--
If it'd been good, State Sen. Steve Peace would still be acting today.)

Derek Janssen (you'd think Californians would've remembered)
djanss@rcn.com


Anonymous Joe 11-12-2003 12:09 AM

Re: GIGLI: Terrible, But No Train Wreck.
 
Plan 9 is awsome....

"Scot Gardner" <Spamus@labamus.com> wrote in message
news:20031110225836.535$i2@news.newsreader.com...
> Is _Gigli_ one of the worst movies ever made? Unfortunately, no.
>
> It's terrible, but it isn't dreadful. Therefore, it isn't bad enough to
> become a cult classic, like _Plan 9 From Outer Space_ or _Attack of the
> Killer Tomatoes_.
>
> The theatrical proceeds amounted to around 10% of the $55 million cost
> of making _Gigli_. Maybe the home video proceeds will recover another
> 10%.
>
> The VHS review is in:
>
> DRAMA
> 121 min., R (mature themes, language, profanity, sexual situations), VHS
> rental, DVD $26.98
> DVD: no extras
> Street: Dec. 9, Prebook: Nov. 18
> First Run: W, July 2003, $5.6 mil.
> Cast: Ben Affleck (The Sum of All Fears),
> Jennifer Lopez (The Cell),
> Justin Bartha, Lenny Venito (Men in Black II),
> Christopher Walken (Catch Me If You Can),
> Al Pacino (Heat)
> Director: Martin Brest
> COLUMBIA TRISTAR
>
> Story Line: Los Angeles crime boss Louis (Venito) assigns cocky Larry
> Gigli (Affleck) to kidnap Brian (Bartha), the mentally challenged kid
> brother of a prosecuting attorney going after the Mob. Unsure of Larry's
> abilities to handle the job, Louis sends beautiful hit woman Ricki
> (Lopez) to join him on his assignment. Eventually, Larry falls in love
> with Ricki--but she's a lesbian.
> Bottom Line: The movie that nobody could pronounce became the movie that
> nobody went to see: prompting disastrous reviews and unending bad
> publicity. Gigli tanked at the box-office, bringing in slightly less
> than $6 million on a $55 million budget. Curiosity seekers will no doubt
> be interested to find out if the film is as notoriously bad as reported.
> The answer is a definitive "no." The film is too low-key and, well,
> likable to be so atrocious. Sure, there are some dead spots, the cameos
> by Walken and Pacino seem to have come from other films and the plot,
> ultimately, has no pay-off. However, the chemistry between the two leads
> is definitely there, some of the dialog is snappy and the ending
> involving the kidnapped kid is genuinely affecting. So, the video
> arrival of Gigli will no doubt please Ben and J-Lo fans, but those
> expecting a train wreck of epic proportions might be in for a
> surprise--pleasant or unpleasant depending upon their
> expectations. --Irv Slifkin
>
> http://www.videobusiness.com/article...D=6480&catID=8
>
>




Mark Spatny 11-12-2003 01:57 AM

Re: GIGLI: Terrible, But No Train Wreck.
 
Scott, seriously, you've got to get over your Gili / Bennifer fixation.

Scot Gardner 11-13-2003 03:01 AM

Re: GIGLI: Terrible, But No Train Wreck.
 
"Mark Spatny" <vfxproducer@NOSPAMhotmail.com> wrote in message
news:MPG.1a1b3287e9fa033f98991d@news.west.earthlin k.net...
> Scott, seriously, you've got to get over your Gili / Bennifer

fixation.

Have you forgotten about _Jersey Girl_?

How can I get over my Gigli / Benifer fixation when the dynamic duo
still has a blockbuster movie in the can? (Well, **** can, to be more
precise.)

But, if _Jersey Girl_ is a big, fat, big-titted hit, Ben and Jen may
make another movie together. Now that will be an exciting development.




Derek Janssen 11-13-2003 05:43 AM

Re: GIGLI: Terrible, But No Train Wreck.
 
Scot Gardner wrote:
> "Mark Spatny" <vfxproducer@NOSPAMhotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:MPG.1a1b3287e9fa033f98991d@news.west.earthlin k.net...
>
>>Scott, seriously, you've got to get over your Gili / Bennifer

>
> fixation.
>
> Have you forgotten about _Jersey Girl_?
>
> How can I get over my Gigli / Benifer fixation when the dynamic duo
> still has a blockbuster movie in the can? (Well, **** can, to be more
> precise.)


So...we have this trendy and inexplication preoccupation with "wacky"
we-hate-Benifer gags, and THEN we post "Gee, Gigli wasn't such a
disaster...Why'd everyone think it was? 0_0??"

(To quote the noted songwriter, I'm starting with the man in the mirror...)

Derek Janssen
djanss@rcn.com


Scot Gardner 11-13-2003 03:05 PM

Re: GIGLI: Terrible, But No Train Wreck.
 
"Derek Janssen" <djanss@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:bov5b0$p1k$1@bob.news.rcn.net...
> Scot Gardner wrote:


<<So...we have this trendy and inexplication preoccupation with "wacky"
we-hate-Benifer gags, and THEN we post " Gee, Gigli wasn't such a
disaster...Why'd everyone think it was? 0_0??">>

And now, let's see if DVD is the saving grace for _Gigli_, the box
office dud of the year. Will it sell well at its suggested retail price
of $26.96? With a release date of December 9, 2003, _Gigli_ has already
achieved a very impressive Amazon DVD Sales Rank of 1,277.
(And everyone thought this DVD wouldn't sell!)

Or, will it end up in the Wal-Mart $5.88 bargain bin right after
Christmas? (Yesterday, I noticed that Best Buy also has a $5.88 DVD
bargain bin.)

Actually, it could go either way. This is a DVD newsgroup and we are
watching DVD history in the making.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...v=glance&s=dvd





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