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tsagoii 08-31-2003 03:42 PM

Need Grammar check for my website
 
Hi all,

Thanks again for the help provided so far for my online resume that im
working on.

The section that remains no be checked are my porfolio content.

Since im a French Native, my grammar in english may not be as strong as my
french. I would appreciate if someone with good english grammar background
could go over that section and tell me if there is obvious spelling errors
or grammar errors.

here is the link to the portfolio section. to view the content you need to
click on one of the client link within the portfolio page.

http://www.wide-awake.net/resume/php/folio.php

Thank you and special thank to Matt and Erika to have helped me with the
other section of my site.

sincerely tsagoii



Toby A Inkster 08-31-2003 04:31 PM

Re: Need Grammar check for my website
 
tsagoii wrote:

> http://www.wide-awake.net/resume/php/folio.php


"Here are some project" should be "Here are some projects".

"more detailed info" should be "more detailed information" ("info" is too
casual) or better "more information"

On xp.php:
"The need to learn PHP and MySQL came to me this year" sounds a bit
clumsy. Better would be "This year I felt a need to learn PHP and MySQL".

"The possibility are endless" should be "The possibilities are endless"
(plural).

--
Toby A Inkster BSc (Hons) ARCS | mailto:tobyink@goddamn.co.uk | pgp:0x6A2A7D39
aim:inka80 | icq:6622880 | yahoo:tobyink | jabber:tai@jabber.linux.it
http://www.goddamn.co.uk/tobyink/ | "You've got spam!"
playing://(nothing)

nice.guy.nige 08-31-2003 05:14 PM

Re: Need Grammar check for my website
 
While the city slept, tsagoii <love@love.com> feverishly typed:

> Hi all,

[...]
> Since im a French Native, my grammar in english may not be as strong
> as my french. I would appreciate if someone with good english grammar
> background could go over that section and tell me if there is obvious
> spelling errors or grammar errors.


Again, on xp.php, I would suggest the following changes.

"At the beginning of my career I was commissioned for basic work like
corporate logo design, stationary, illustration and page layout. Over years
of experience, I have had the chance to embark on more interesting projects;
press kit, covers, packaging, posters and color separation."

to

"At the beginning of my career I was commissioned for basic work, such as
corporate logo design, stationary, illustration and page layout. After years
of experience, I have had the chance to embark on more interesting projects;
press kits, covers, packaging, posters and color separation."

"For the past 3 years, all my work has been related to internet."

to

"For the past 3 years, all my work has been related to the internet."

or "For the past 3 years, I have concentrated on designing for the
internet."

"knowing HTML gave me even more control over my designs and how to integrate
then into web format."

to

"knowing HTML gave me even more control over my designs and how to integrate
then into a web format."

Hope that helps,
Nige

--
Nigel Moss.

Email address is not valid. nigel@nigenetDOG.org.uk. Take the dog out!
http://www.nigenet.org.uk | Boycott E$$O!! http://www.stopesso.com
"How strange the change from major to minor..."



SteW 08-31-2003 06:15 PM

Re: Need Grammar check for my website
 
tsagoii wrote:

> Hi all,
>
> Thanks again for the help provided so far for my online resume that im
> working on.
>
> The section that remains no be checked are my porfolio content.
>
> Since im a French Native, my grammar in english may not be as strong as my
> french. I would appreciate if someone with good english grammar background
> could go over that section and tell me if there is obvious spelling errors
> or grammar errors.
>
> here is the link to the portfolio section. to view the content you need to
> click on one of the client link within the portfolio page.
>
> http://www.wide-awake.net/resume/php/folio.php
>
> Thank you and special thank to Matt and Erika to have helped me with the
> other section of my site.
>
> sincerely tsagoii
>
>


Homepage:
paragraph 3, sentence 1: missing full stop (period)

"Please note that at any time reference can be provided upon request".
- either "a reference can be provided", or preferably "references can be
provided"

Rearranging to "Please note that references can be provided upon request
at any time" sounds more natural to me.

1994 to 1996
"Formation was based on creativity and design". Not quite sure what you
mean here, perhaps "The syllabus was centred [centered - US] around
creativity and design"

"Learning the new technologies used in the media and publicity industry,
without leaving behing old methods of creations"

"behing" should be "behind"

try: "It taught the new technologies used in the media and publicity
industry, without ignoring traditional methods".



"Covering the multiple possibility of projects. From corporate logo
creations, annual repport, book cover, packaging to promotional materials"

perhaps: "The course covered many aspects of art and design including
corporate logo creations, annual reports, book covers, packaging and
promotional materials."
n.b. "repport" should be "report"

Ste W


Toby A Inkster 08-31-2003 10:17 PM

Re: Need Grammar check for my website
 
nice.guy.nige wrote:

> "knowing HTML gave me even more control over my designs and how to integrate
> then into web format."
>
> to
>
> "knowing HTML gave me even more control over my designs and how to integrate
> then into a web format."


Me thinks those are identical.

them?

--
Toby A Inkster BSc (Hons) ARCS | mailto:tobyink@goddamn.co.uk | pgp:0x6A2A7D39
aim:inka80 | icq:6622880 | yahoo:tobyink | jabber:tai@jabber.linux.it
http://www.goddamn.co.uk/tobyink/ | "You've got spam!"
playing://(nothing)

SteW 08-31-2003 11:10 PM

Re: Need Grammar check for my website
 
Toby A Inkster wrote:
> nice.guy.nige wrote:
>
>
>>"knowing HTML gave me even more control over my designs and how to integrate
>>then into web format."
>>
>>to
>>
>>"knowing HTML gave me even more control over my designs and how to integrate
>>then into a web format."

>
>
> Me thinks those are identical.
>
> them?
>


No, you missed a

Ste W


SteW 08-31-2003 11:27 PM

Re: Need Grammar check for my website
 
Correction to my previous reply:

Toby A Inkster wrote:

> nice.guy.nige wrote:
>
>
>>"knowing HTML gave me even more control over my designs and how to integrate
>>then into web format."
>>
>>to
>>
>>"knowing HTML gave me even more control over my designs and how to integrate
>>then into a web format."

>
>
> Me thinks those are identical.
>


No, you missed a

> them?
>


agreed

Ste W


Mark Parnell 08-31-2003 11:27 PM

Re: Need Grammar check for my website
 
nice.guy.nige wrote:
>
> corporate logo design, stationary, illustration and page layout. After

years
^^^^^^^^^^

That should be stationery (unless it's not going anywhere) :-)

--

Mark Parnell
http://www.clarkecomputers.com.au



tsagoii 09-01-2003 02:50 AM

Re: Need Grammar check for my website
 
thank you for those observation, i shall go over them and make the
appropriate adjustment.

This is really appreciated,

Tsagoii
"tsagoii" <love@love.com> wrote in message
news:7Lo4b.68$su.18421@news20.bellglobal.com...
> Hi all,
>
> Thanks again for the help provided so far for my online resume that im
> working on.
>
> The section that remains no be checked are my porfolio content.
>
> Since im a French Native, my grammar in english may not be as strong as my
> french. I would appreciate if someone with good english grammar background
> could go over that section and tell me if there is obvious spelling errors
> or grammar errors.
>
> here is the link to the portfolio section. to view the content you need to
> click on one of the client link within the portfolio page.
>
> http://www.wide-awake.net/resume/php/folio.php
>
> Thank you and special thank to Matt and Erika to have helped me with the
> other section of my site.
>
> sincerely tsagoii
>
>




nice.guy.nige 09-01-2003 07:23 AM

Re: Need Grammar check for my website
 
While the city slept, Toby A Inkster <UseTheAddressInMySig@deadspam.com>
feverishly typed:

> nice.guy.nige wrote:
>
>> "knowing HTML gave me even more control over my designs and how to
>> integrate then into web format."
>>
>> to
>>
>> "knowing HTML gave me even more control over my designs and how to
>> integrate then into a web format."

>
> Me thinks those are identical.


Subtle inclusion of the word 'a'.

> them?


Well spotted! OT, though of course, as the OP wanted grammar checking, not
spelling! ;-)

Cheers,
Nige

--
Nigel Moss.

Email address is not valid. nigel@nigenetDOG.org.uk. Take the dog out!
http://www.nigenet.org.uk | Boycott E$$O!! http://www.stopesso.com
"How strange the change from major to minor..."




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